I escaped with my life...and my sanity.

I dislike Babies R Us. Can anybody ever find anything in that store? Even the employees can’t find anything in the store.

Oh, the merchandise is fine (once you find it), and sales prices are good, and there are even good coupons and discounts quite often. It’s just that problems seem to ensue once I step into that store.

Today I had a Babies R Us coupon for diapers and needed to get a couple baby gifts anyway, so I prepared myself for the chaos that is Babies R Us.

I did not prepare well enough.

I should know by now that any trip to Babies R Us will involve a wait of 10 to 15 minutes, possibly 20, while an employee tries to a.) find something for me, b.) figure out the right price of an item, c.) find something for me, or d.) print the appropriate number of receipts if a gift receipt is needed.

When I walk in the store and have to wait for an employee dressed in a giant Geoffrey the Giraffe plush costume to move out of the way so I can walk down the aisle I should know the trip will not be simple.

Not only do I find Geoffrey the Giraffe in the store, but also a clown painting children’s faces, scads of employees aimlessly wandering around and stopping abruptly smack dab in the middle of the aisles (they are probably trying to find something for a poor customer), and a Chick-fil-a cow complete with a green T-shirt advertising “Eat mor chikin” being led around the store by a woman who looks like she is rather less than excited to be leading a character around Babies R Us this morning.

It is like a circus. Or a zoo. Or both.

After finding my items...finally...I make my way to the cash register thinking a little too smugly that this visit to Babies R Us might be unusually quick and easy despite the giraffe, the cow and the clown.

It is at this point that the register decides not to print my receipt. I thought of just leaving, but I like to have the gift receipt in case I buy the “Diaper Genie II special edition” refill cartridge when really the recipient has the “Diaper Genie IV ½ mom’s best friend” pail at home.

So, I wait. And wait. And wait.

Ten minutes later the girl helping me finally goes to the back of the store and returns with a computer print-out of my purchases. She signs it with “Valid for refund” and her name. I fear that asking for a gift receipt might just be asking for trouble and a further wait in a store that is becoming ever more chaotic. Lunch time is approaching and the natives…er…children are getting restless.

I quickly wheel my cart out to the parking lot just as I hear the beginnings of someone’s screaming fit, carnival music…and possibly a cow moo-ing.