Old Faithful

Against all laws of nature and genetics, I use a steam iron quite frequently.

I was probably thirteen before I knew what a steam iron was and how to use it. Just as I do not remember shopping for or buying clothes until well into junior high, I do not remember ever having need of an iron to correct wrinkly clothing until maybe sometime in high school. Even then the occasions to iron were few and far between.

If I could live all those years without a steam iron, then it is obviously possible to buy and wear only garments that do not wrinkle. As far as I know, my entire family can, to this day, attest to this fact.

One day I entered into married life and began living with a husband who must wear button-down, collared shirts to work everyday. For a couple years, we let the drycleaners do all the ironing. However, when more time availed itself and the cost of dry cleaning mounted, I decided to add shirt-ironing to my domestic duties.

Much to my family’s surprise, I declared late last week that my steam iron simply quit working. As far as they can tell irons should last a lifetime…safely stored in a closet somewhere awaiting the yearly ironing emergency. Mine lasted only a few years.

The clear solution was to look up steam irons in Consumer Reports at the library, discover that the last ratings were awarded in 2004, assume that the same brands might still be “best buys”, and head to Wal-Mart to purchase a new steam iron. The most expensive product offered at Wal-Mart is only $30, so we came home Friday evening with a new iron.

Imagine my surprise when my husband appeared Saturday evening after a short visit to his parent’s house with an iron, still in the box with the instructions, that he happened to find at the top of a bedroom closet. By the look of the packaging I swore the iron must have survived from the ‘80s so it can now grace us with it’s presence in the 21^st century.

My insight was correct. The copyright date on the box is 1989. Sunday morning I humored my husband and tried out the 1989 iron, sure it would be defective in some way. Against all odds, the thing still works!

I shall call it “old faithful”.

Apparently while one iron per lifetime is more than enough for members of my family, John’s family uses an iron so often that a perpetual back-up iron, stored away at the top of a closet, is a useful necessity. I briefly thought of employing this technique myself when we discovered John’s family would graciously allow us to use “old faithful” as our own at no charge. I could use the 1989 model and just keep the newly purchased item in my closet until the fateful day when “old faithful” kicks the bucket.

Needless to say, my husband prefers to return the 2008 iron to Wal-Mart and keep the $30 we shelled out in his pocket.

While my “new” steam iron is not the most stylish, I like to think it is bona fide “retro”…or is it “antique”? I am uncertain as to the age limit for those two categories. Either way, I am pleased to own such a fascinating “retro” steam iron…or such a useful “antique”.