The Long and Winding Road

"lean restroom
smoked brisket"

I should have gotten a picture, but we drove by too fast. Then I spent the next 40 seconds or so trying to wrap my brain around what the billboard was advertising at the gas station in the middle of nowhere, Texas.

"lean restroom
smoked brisket"

Finally I told John exactly what I had seen. His first reaction was, “ewww”. Lean restroom-smoked brisket? Then immediately he pointed out, as I’m sure you have already discerned, that there is probably a “c” missing:

"clean restroom
smoked brisket"

Mind you, this was at about hour 11 on our long drive, so I blame my brain malfunctioning on that little fact.

Eventually we got hungry for dinner, but not for “lean restroom-smoked brisket”.

Or for McDonald’s (just doesn’t taste good).

Or for Dairy Queen (usually takes forever and a day for them to get your order filled).

When you are driving through most of Texas, larger cities are few and far between, and the small towns generally have: McDonald’s, Dairy Queen, and Sonic.

So, Sonic it was.

Only, at about the time we decided we were hungry, the road had turned into a larger highway not directly intersecting any towns. It is at times like this that having a blackberry in the car is pretty handy. I found the next two nearby towns and looked up the location of the closest Sonic, got directions, and attempted to steer John (who was driving at the time) in the right direction.

Apparently there were two different exits leading to the same road, and the one we chose to use was going in the wrong direction. Within ten minutes I ascertained we were not any where close to a town, so we turned around to head back to the highway.

Just as I was thinking I might need to eat my arm I was so hungry, we saw yet another exit for the same road. I was hesitant, but John wanted his Sonic so he took the exit. Two miles down the road, lo and behold, there stands a glorious Sonic waiting just for us. Angus burger and mozzarella sticks for all.

In case you’re thinking of driving on Hwy 287 in Colorado, don’t. Even if it seems like it will be faster than the alternative routes, it won’t. That’s because at two separate locations the road is down to one lane for several miles, which basically ensures you will have to wait for upward of twenty minutes at a dead stop until it is your turn to drive on the road. (On the up side, both locations receive cell service, so it’s a great time to make some phone calls or use your blackberry/I-phone.)

Also, the E470 toll road in Colorado is probably more expensive than you assume it will be. And they don’t take credit cards. We finally ran out of cash at the third toll booth and had to just drive on through. It’s two dollars at each booth. (Obviously we are not cash-carriers.) We fully expect to receive our bill from the transportation department in Colorado any day now (if they even send interstate tickets). It will just be for the tolls we didn’t pay as long as we pay within 20 days of receiving the bill, so really, that might be faster than stopping at each toll booth on the road unless you have a toll pass…hmmm.

Surprisingly the road trip home did not seem as long as it really was. But I probably do not want to be stuck in a car for longer than a few hours again any time soon.