Today's Science Lesson

Instead of doing things in science class like memorizing the periodic table (that has turned out to be soooo useful) and torturing kids by forcing them to do science projects (that end up being really important topics like "what kind of music do plants like best" - unless you're my husband who is obviously a science fair genius, but that's a topic for another blog), why don't we learn things like how to identify the strange slime molds and fungus that may someday appear out of the blue on our lawns?

Of course, now that I think of it, I learned the answer to this very question in a matter of seconds by using the handy internet, which is (I hesitate to admit) a new invention since my own school days.

So, really, children now have even less reason to pay attention in school; after all, anytime they ever have a question or need to figure out how to do something the answer is only a few mouse clicks away.

Well, I suppose you still need to pay enough attention to pass that test and get promoted to the next grade level. College degrees are still a definite asset to getting a job and making a living, although I might not be the best example of that...again, a good blog topic for another day.

Here are some examples of recent questions I've asked the internet lately even though I'm fairly certain I learned the answers at some point during my school career:

Why is the sky blue?
What is the definition of "work"?
What is the normal temperature range for an adult human being?
What is that quote on the Statue of Liberty and who said it?
What does a vascular surgeon do?

Now that I've demonstrated my lack of good working memory, let me share with you what I learned today about the mold on my lawn.

This is what it looks like:

1. It is, in fact, slime mold and not fungus.
2. When I first noticed this abomination in the front yard, I took a closer look and really thought some animal had gotten sick all over our grass. And, sure enough, the common name for this is "Dog Vomit Slime Mold."
3. There is no need to get rid of "Dog Vomit Slime Mold" since it will not harm plants or animals.
4. You could eat it if you wanted to, but no one suggests you try, and, honestly, WHO WOULD DO THAT?
5. It will probably go away on its own shortly.

In case you're wondering how I found information about a growth on my lawn, not knowing what it was called or if it was fungus or mold or what, I googled "weird lawn mold fungus". The answer popped up immediately.

The internet is genius.