Aaack! Where did the time go? I have been so busy either working or spending time with family the last couple weeks, I have not even had two minutes together to think, write, or enjoy some quiet.
This confirms that in general, I do a good job of balancing my life the rest of the year. I'm not sure how I would survive if all my days were as crowded and full as I've recently experienced. Thankfully, John has been on vacation while I've been working, so at least groceries have been bought and laundry cleaned and dried.
I am well aware that much of my victory over busyness happens because we don't have children...spending a week with my nephew reminded me of this. And, don't get me wrong, I love seeing family, and the time I spend with those I rarely get to see is precious.
It just also happens to move unimportant matters such as blogging...or obtaining food or making sure there are clean clothes...to the bottom of my to-do list.
We spent the last half of last week with my family. It is so fun to all be together in one house! As soon as we arrived, my nephew switched from following my mom around like a duckling to becoming attached to me like a fifth appendage. After four days it got so bad that lunch and snacks couldn't be eaten unless he was sitting in my lap. Our gifts to my parents and my sister, brother-in-law and nephew included web-cams. Yea! We can now all see each other a bit more often!
This week we're back home, so it's all about John's side of the family. Every event either includes or is centered around eating, so I don't think I'll be hungry again until February. I've also had a cold this week, so unfortunately I feel that my time with family is all a blur...a hazy, cold-medicine-induced blur. There have been more Christmas gifts, Kinect, monopoly, a painful Texas Bowl in which Baylor lost, and all manner of food. And it's not over yet, so I may be absent here at the blog for a few more days.
Speaking of colds, one of the reasons I will be happy to bid 2010 farewell is that I'm pretty sure my body has been either filled with antibiotics or anesthesia for a good half of the year...and I've probably been on over-the-counter drugs longer than that. I have never been sick so much in one year...EVER. I'm hopeful that 2011 will bring vast improvements for my health. (At the same time, I'm grateful that my illnesses have not been life-threatening...I know so many people who have been diagnosed with cancer this year.)
I'm also hopeful that I'll have a chance to sit down this weekend and give everyone a very brief recap of 2010, and maybe I'll have some resolutions for 2011...maybe. In case I don't get to a blog post before Saturday...Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
'ad-vent
n. - a coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important or awaited
Remember as a kid how the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas seemed months long? The time between writing that letter to Santa and waking up to gifts under the tree on Christmas morning was nearly incalculable?
When did time stop lagging? When did it get to be December 18 and I'm still thinking, "Wasn't Thanksgiving just last week?"
With the way time flies, it doesn't seem that I have to wait that long for Christmas these days. I hate to admit it, but it's more digging in my heels and wishing for time to prolong itself than it is waiting. But that doesn't diminish the extreme importance of Christmas.
No, I'm not talking about Santa. Or even gifts, although giving gifts and seeing smiles on the recipients faces is happiness! It's the importance of our Savior coming to earth; without that He wouldn't be our Savior, the God who died (and defeated death) for us.
I know this is super late in the game, but I just discovered this beautiful, FREE, advent devotional, The Jesus Advent Celebration: The Jesse Tree Journey. It's written by Ann Voskamp, and even if you only get to read a couple days this year, you can print it out (or save it) and have it for next year!
(By now we all know that link is "late in the game" because time? It FLIES!)
Also, you may have already seen this on youtube, but The Social Network Christmas made me cry. That is probably due to my being highly hormonal since I've also cried watching a jewelry commercial and because the sun came up this morning, but I feel I can still recommend this as a good video worth four minutes of your time.
We have a week packed full of family, and I may or may not take a blog break for a bit. Soooo....
Happy Advent and Merry Christmas!
Remember as a kid how the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas seemed months long? The time between writing that letter to Santa and waking up to gifts under the tree on Christmas morning was nearly incalculable?
When did time stop lagging? When did it get to be December 18 and I'm still thinking, "Wasn't Thanksgiving just last week?"
With the way time flies, it doesn't seem that I have to wait that long for Christmas these days. I hate to admit it, but it's more digging in my heels and wishing for time to prolong itself than it is waiting. But that doesn't diminish the extreme importance of Christmas.
No, I'm not talking about Santa. Or even gifts, although giving gifts and seeing smiles on the recipients faces is happiness! It's the importance of our Savior coming to earth; without that He wouldn't be our Savior, the God who died (and defeated death) for us.
I know this is super late in the game, but I just discovered this beautiful, FREE, advent devotional, The Jesus Advent Celebration: The Jesse Tree Journey. It's written by Ann Voskamp, and even if you only get to read a couple days this year, you can print it out (or save it) and have it for next year!
(By now we all know that link is "late in the game" because time? It FLIES!)
Also, you may have already seen this on youtube, but The Social Network Christmas made me cry. That is probably due to my being highly hormonal since I've also cried watching a jewelry commercial and because the sun came up this morning, but I feel I can still recommend this as a good video worth four minutes of your time.
We have a week packed full of family, and I may or may not take a blog break for a bit. Soooo....
Happy Advent and Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
In Miracles and Misery
Sometimes something wonderful can happen - a clean bill of health after months of chemotherapy, or a miraculous pregnancy in a womb that seemed broken down and locked up - only to be shortly followed by misery - the cancer is back, or your baby has died.
Sometimes the miraculous brings a false sense of intimacy with God. After all, how easy it is to offer up praise, smiles, laughter, and song when the impossible is blown away like dust by the breath of God. But thankfulness for my comfort or health and acknowledgement of God's favor and miraculous work is not the same as love or trust or dependence.
Sometimes misery also yields a false sense of closeness to God. In fresh pain, we, who say we believe in Christ and the power of God, cry out to Him. We pour our heart out, we pray diligently for healing, help, comfort, and mercy. But asking and wanting and continuing to trust that God has a perfect plan is not the same as building a deeper relationship with the One who creates and saves us.
Some day, after weeks or months or years of the crying out and praying, the urgency of the prayer starts to fade. The fresh pain becomes a dull ache, an empty spot, a gnawing bitterness or a heavy grief that becomes just another part of who you are and what this life means. When God seems not to answer, or the grievous emotions subside but never completely disappear, it is so easy to stop petitioning Him...or to just stop listening to Him. Maybe He's not saying anything anyway.
I have convinced myself that saying my prayers and speaking out that God has the perfect plan is drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. In reality, I have not made time to listen to Him, read His word, or really spend much time with Him. It becomes easier and easier to make excuses not to attend a worship service.
The Lord says, "These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made traditions learned by rote." (Isaiah 29:13)
God reminds me that my acknowledgement of and trust in Him is but the tip of the iceberg. He also desires me to love Him and spend time with Him, not to gain miracles or healing, but simply to enjoy Him...to be made whole in a spiritual sense more than a physical sense.
"Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the Lord, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say, 'Who sees us? Who knows us?' You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made would say to its maker, 'He did not make me'; or what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?" (Isaiah 29:15-16)
The wounds of loss, illness, discomfort and misery can build a wall. Even when we know God can see over and through the wall, we turn our backs to the wall like small children squinting shut our eyes tightly, convinced that because we can't see Him, He can't see us.
I have deeply hidden plans and have made decisions in the dark of late...simply by excluding the Lord, not really listening to Him, not attempting to forge a relationship with Him. Religion is not the same as relationship, and Isaiah has brought it to my attention that I have fooled myself into thinking my relationship with God has been growing.
The good news is that from this point forward, the miracles and miseries of the last year really can still be used to bring me closer to God. I can see now that they made me religious, keeping the focus on me, my grief, my problems, my cries to God, what God will do for me. And we all have the opportunity to learn from those mistakes, those revelations of our mistakes, and to approach things differently.
And God is there the entire time. Waiting for me to have these revelations and turn back to listening to Him and talking to Him from my heart.
"And God will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is his treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)
Saving from all the empty spots and the walls I can put up. Wealth without regard to material possession or money. Stability in the miracles and the misery.
Sometimes the miraculous brings a false sense of intimacy with God. After all, how easy it is to offer up praise, smiles, laughter, and song when the impossible is blown away like dust by the breath of God. But thankfulness for my comfort or health and acknowledgement of God's favor and miraculous work is not the same as love or trust or dependence.
Sometimes misery also yields a false sense of closeness to God. In fresh pain, we, who say we believe in Christ and the power of God, cry out to Him. We pour our heart out, we pray diligently for healing, help, comfort, and mercy. But asking and wanting and continuing to trust that God has a perfect plan is not the same as building a deeper relationship with the One who creates and saves us.
Some day, after weeks or months or years of the crying out and praying, the urgency of the prayer starts to fade. The fresh pain becomes a dull ache, an empty spot, a gnawing bitterness or a heavy grief that becomes just another part of who you are and what this life means. When God seems not to answer, or the grievous emotions subside but never completely disappear, it is so easy to stop petitioning Him...or to just stop listening to Him. Maybe He's not saying anything anyway.
I have convinced myself that saying my prayers and speaking out that God has the perfect plan is drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. In reality, I have not made time to listen to Him, read His word, or really spend much time with Him. It becomes easier and easier to make excuses not to attend a worship service.
The Lord says, "These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made traditions learned by rote." (Isaiah 29:13)
God reminds me that my acknowledgement of and trust in Him is but the tip of the iceberg. He also desires me to love Him and spend time with Him, not to gain miracles or healing, but simply to enjoy Him...to be made whole in a spiritual sense more than a physical sense.
"Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the Lord, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say, 'Who sees us? Who knows us?' You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made would say to its maker, 'He did not make me'; or what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?" (Isaiah 29:15-16)
The wounds of loss, illness, discomfort and misery can build a wall. Even when we know God can see over and through the wall, we turn our backs to the wall like small children squinting shut our eyes tightly, convinced that because we can't see Him, He can't see us.
I have deeply hidden plans and have made decisions in the dark of late...simply by excluding the Lord, not really listening to Him, not attempting to forge a relationship with Him. Religion is not the same as relationship, and Isaiah has brought it to my attention that I have fooled myself into thinking my relationship with God has been growing.
The good news is that from this point forward, the miracles and miseries of the last year really can still be used to bring me closer to God. I can see now that they made me religious, keeping the focus on me, my grief, my problems, my cries to God, what God will do for me. And we all have the opportunity to learn from those mistakes, those revelations of our mistakes, and to approach things differently.
And God is there the entire time. Waiting for me to have these revelations and turn back to listening to Him and talking to Him from my heart.
"And God will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is his treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)
Saving from all the empty spots and the walls I can put up. Wealth without regard to material possession or money. Stability in the miracles and the misery.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The Holidays in Pictures
Everyone is focused on Christmas now. But it seems like Thanksgiving was just the other day. Plus, in the process of taking a picture of my Christmas tree to prove that we did indeed get it decorated, I discovered some definitely fall/Thanksgiving photos I took before everything became a Santa, nativity, gift-wrapping, card-mailing, Christmas carol extravaganza.
And I could get on my soapbox about how many untrue "meanings of Christmas" I have heard over just the last week and how all the financial and time stress is ridiculous and unnecessary in celebrating the birth of the Messiah...but I won't.
Let's take a journey back in time...to last month...though it seems only days ago:
The trees in our yard and on the street had the amazing autumn colors for a couple days, and I just had to take a picture.
Our smoked turkey:
It always looks that dark, but we probably left it in a bit too long. My fault. I was sure a 20-pound bird would take at least the general 30 minutes-per-pound to cook. So, we didn't check it until that point. Turns out it was probably done a bit earlier. Still good, just a little dry.
And suddenly it's Christmas. After posting that our tree was still naked, the following evening I put up a garland to make myself feel better.
Festive, yet requires much less time than decorating a Christmas tree.
Finally, a week after putting up the tree, we spent an evening attaching all the ornaments.
Ta-da!
Sorry about the lighting. It's sitting in front of a big window and I just didn't take time to figure out a way to make the lighting better.
Other than the garland I hung up out of guilt, all the other decorations got put out last weekend with the ornaments on the tree, including my favorite nativity - a gift from my mom and dad.
I can hardly believe it, but John is on his way to go put our Christmas cards in the mailbox at the post office. I hope to just chill and enjoy the rest of the month without any decorating, card-sending, or gift-buying left. And, yes, I know it's really only two weeks 'til Christmas, but better than just finishing it all up two days before. I've had lots of experience with that!
And I could get on my soapbox about how many untrue "meanings of Christmas" I have heard over just the last week and how all the financial and time stress is ridiculous and unnecessary in celebrating the birth of the Messiah...but I won't.
Let's take a journey back in time...to last month...though it seems only days ago:
The trees in our yard and on the street had the amazing autumn colors for a couple days, and I just had to take a picture.
Our smoked turkey:
It always looks that dark, but we probably left it in a bit too long. My fault. I was sure a 20-pound bird would take at least the general 30 minutes-per-pound to cook. So, we didn't check it until that point. Turns out it was probably done a bit earlier. Still good, just a little dry.
And suddenly it's Christmas. After posting that our tree was still naked, the following evening I put up a garland to make myself feel better.
Festive, yet requires much less time than decorating a Christmas tree.
Finally, a week after putting up the tree, we spent an evening attaching all the ornaments.
Ta-da!
Sorry about the lighting. It's sitting in front of a big window and I just didn't take time to figure out a way to make the lighting better.
Other than the garland I hung up out of guilt, all the other decorations got put out last weekend with the ornaments on the tree, including my favorite nativity - a gift from my mom and dad.
I can hardly believe it, but John is on his way to go put our Christmas cards in the mailbox at the post office. I hope to just chill and enjoy the rest of the month without any decorating, card-sending, or gift-buying left. And, yes, I know it's really only two weeks 'til Christmas, but better than just finishing it all up two days before. I've had lots of experience with that!
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
The Excitement for Today
Somehow I locked myself out of the house while taking out the trash tonight. I don't understand it, but it was cold outside and I had nothing with me...no wallet, no cell phone. Fortunately I did have shoes on. (As opposed to my husband who once locked himself out of our apartment in Amsterdam while barefoot and documented it in a blog post.)
Fortunately, we gave one of our neighbors a key to our house.
Unfortunately, they couldn't really find it tonight in my time of need.
But then, our neighbor and his son decided to give breaking in a try. Using a sturdy piece of paper didn't work, but his son had a credit card on him and that did the trick! Yeah! I am so grateful for good neighbors! I've never been happier to have someone be able to break into our house.
Although, I'm now quite certain that a doorknob lock is pretty pointless. With a credit card, it took all of two seconds to get the door open.
What with all the being locked out of the house, I've decided that sweeping and mopping the floor is out of the question for tonight. Plus, I was all set to watch Modern Family while cleaning and now I've missed it. Clearly no cleaning can possibly get done now.
I guess now I'll just have to find something else to watch while folding the mountain of laundry on our sofa; a Christmas movie perhaps.
Fortunately, we gave one of our neighbors a key to our house.
Unfortunately, they couldn't really find it tonight in my time of need.
But then, our neighbor and his son decided to give breaking in a try. Using a sturdy piece of paper didn't work, but his son had a credit card on him and that did the trick! Yeah! I am so grateful for good neighbors! I've never been happier to have someone be able to break into our house.
Although, I'm now quite certain that a doorknob lock is pretty pointless. With a credit card, it took all of two seconds to get the door open.
What with all the being locked out of the house, I've decided that sweeping and mopping the floor is out of the question for tonight. Plus, I was all set to watch Modern Family while cleaning and now I've missed it. Clearly no cleaning can possibly get done now.
I guess now I'll just have to find something else to watch while folding the mountain of laundry on our sofa; a Christmas movie perhaps.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Perfect Timing
I have not felt like writing, or doing much of anything the last couple days.
Our first child's due date would have been December 1, and it is amazing to me that Jon Acuff wrote a blog post on Stuff Christians Like on that very day, called "The Soft X", that made me cry...and remember...and feel that God is tender and cares.
About the only thing I have been doing with gusto lately is eating sugar and carbohydrates. It's Cookie Week over at "The Pioneer Woman Cooks", and the "Framed Cooks" blog is all about the holiday goodies this week as well. It's not helping my desire to bake and eat. I am using as much discipline as possible (since yesterday) to wean myself off the sugar and carbs. I know for sure it can't be helping my emotional state right now.
I'm determined to give away most of what I bake this month. So, if you live nearby or see me on a regular basis, you might be in for some gifted baked goods. The alternative is I stay busy with other things, don't have the time to bake, and thus do not have the problem of sweets lying about the kitchen.
That staying busy thing just might work this month!
Our first child's due date would have been December 1, and it is amazing to me that Jon Acuff wrote a blog post on Stuff Christians Like on that very day, called "The Soft X", that made me cry...and remember...and feel that God is tender and cares.
About the only thing I have been doing with gusto lately is eating sugar and carbohydrates. It's Cookie Week over at "The Pioneer Woman Cooks", and the "Framed Cooks" blog is all about the holiday goodies this week as well. It's not helping my desire to bake and eat. I am using as much discipline as possible (since yesterday) to wean myself off the sugar and carbs. I know for sure it can't be helping my emotional state right now.
I'm determined to give away most of what I bake this month. So, if you live nearby or see me on a regular basis, you might be in for some gifted baked goods. The alternative is I stay busy with other things, don't have the time to bake, and thus do not have the problem of sweets lying about the kitchen.
That staying busy thing just might work this month!
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