Blazing Fire

While on our most-enjoyable vacation in Portland, I was a wee bit consumed with worry about scheduling an appointment on the appropriate day of my cycle for a fluid test to see if all was well in the healing process after my surgery two months ago.

(Only other women going through all this infertility stuff will understand the waiting, the counting days, the wondering if spotting constitutes day 1 or not, the question of whether a short or long cycle means something bad for the next treatment, etc., etc., etc.)

Turns out I need not have worried. (As is almost ALWAYS the case, but it is sure to take me a sweet FOREVER to learn that lesson!) Earlier this week the test showed that I have healed much more quickly and fully than even my fertility doctor had imagined! Plus, the doctor finally came out and said that since he corrected such a large septum in the uterus, our chances of achieving pregnancy with IUI are a little better than he had at first thought!

I praise God for this!

And then I started thinking about what my reaction and relationship toward God would be had I not healed so quickly. Or had I needed another minor surgery to correct things after the major surgery. Or if it ends up that I just won't ever get pregnant. Or if nothing we do ever allows us to have children.

Well, I would like to think I would still praise God. I hope that my purpose in life is bigger than getting pregnant and birthing children.

I love the story in Daniel about Daniel's friends who refuse to bow down and worship the golden idol that King Nebuchadnezzar constructs. (I also really like that name: Nebuchadnezzar. But, not to worry, I don't like it enough to name a child after him.) The king tells them they face being thrown into a blazing fire (the likes of which are approximated rather well by stepping outside the door of your air-conditioned dwelling in Dallas today) for their disobedience..."and what god is there that can deliver you out of my hands?"

This is the response that means so much to me:

"If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (That's Psalm 73: 25-26.)

When you experience a relationship that enriches your heart and spirit, you begin to realize that other stuff, even outcomes of situations, can't compare or bring any better contentment than what you already have in that one great relationship.

And I praise God for that!