I don't really make New Year resolutions, nor have I ever contemplated my life over the previous 364 days when December 31 comes around.
And while I still have no intention of making New Year resolutions (mostly because I have learned quickly over the past few years that life is so ridiculously uncertain as to make long-term concrete goals completely useless), I figure looking back over 2008 could be a good reminder.
God works miracles.
My nephew weighed less than two pounds, could not breathe or eat on his own, and his life hung in the balance in 2007. This year, he is the cutest little boy in the state if not the entire universe, he crawls around, babbles constantly (including what my sister refers to as his daily "speech to the bathroom" whereby he finishes getting washed, insists on standing up, beats on the side of the tub, and proceeds to give the bathroom his two cents), and eats solid foods. Although the pain, uncertainty, and fear can still seem fresh when I think back to his days in the NICU, it is important to hold onto those painful memories; it makes my nephew's life seem all that much more miraculous.
God also has a plan and purpose for my life (and your life, although I don't really know the details of how He works it out in your life, so you'll just have to hear about mine...or skip down to the next point).
After searching, and searching, and searching for a job, after wondering until my head hurt what the next steps would be for me in a career, after working a short stint for a practice that literally made me feel constantly nauseous and as if my heart were going to beat out of my chest at any moment, after going through the depression that most job-hunters can relate to, God finally put the pieces together. I now work in a ministry that is a passion of mine, with people whom I like and love, on a schedule that allows me to also minister in other ways, see my husband, and cultivate other non-work-related skills.
In October, Africa made me hopeful, joyful, heart-broken, and physically ill all at the same time.
I talked to, saw, touched, and heard the 11-year-old boy to whom we have written letters and sent money for the past four years. He has a big smile like me and wide, joyful eyes like my husband. He is perhaps a little more unfocused and hyper than most of the other kids he goes to school with, but he loves Jesus and wants so much to make something beautiful of his life.
I witnessed, in flesh and blood, the Compassion projects and people that spring out of our measly $32 a month. I saw the faces and living conditions of countless children in Uganda whom Compassion hopes to reach.
I felt the heat of Africa on my white skin and sent up a grateful prayer that I do not live continually in such high temperatures and humidity (yep, not even south Louisiana compares, and I am way too accustomed to climate control).
I was reminded through countless phone calls and visits with friends that a common faith is the strongest bond there is.
Sometimes I look forward to heaven partly because I will get to be in close proximity with some of those friends forever, instead of being separated right now by miles and miles of highway and vast oceans.
In writing blog posts, I have become more determined to find the humorous in the everyday.
I would like to think I'm getting better at seeing the positive. Of course, my husband, who lives with me day in and day out, is probably best suited to tell every one of you that I still worry way too much and insist on creating every possible disastrous scenario for each decision and circumstance.
And if I were one to make New Year resolutions perhaps that would be something I could work on.
But I'm not.
All the lessons of 2008 are rooted in my heart. I doubt I will dwell on them too much, and hopefully I will also not borrow trouble from 2009...at least not too much trouble...at least not after my husband reminds me for the two billionth time to stop worrying.
I pray that 2009 will bring some good surprises. Here's to enjoying every single day!
Cheers!
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