Resorting to the Dregs of Reality Television

Confession: I have been watching The Bachelorette this season.

Perhaps even more upsetting is that I am going to write a post about it. Oh, life is exciting!

(And this blog, by the way, will not be a spoiler for those of you who have not yet, but will in the future, watch last night’s episode to see who the bachelorette chose. Although, this post may betray the outcome of engagement/no engagement. I just won’t say who she picked.)

As we all know, it was “the most dramatic season finale ever”…as usual. John was watching a lot of the show with me and offering his ever-creative, comedic, if slightly sarcastic, commentary during the entire episode.

In the After-Show show, Chris, the host, spent the entire hour before every commercial break telling us that the bachelorette and her intended were going to reveal a “big surprise”. Finally, John decided he knew what the surprise was going to be.

In his words:

“I know! She’s pregnant! With the runner-up’s baby! And Chris is going to be the next Jerry Springer! Just wait…there’s about to be big body-guards dressed in black coming onstage to deal with the bedlam.”

In the end, the “big announcement” wasn’t much of a surprise to me. I mean, the bachelorette and her chosen are engaged. Usually that means you will be getting married. Why is it such a big deal to announce, after you are already engaged and wearing the big diamond ring, that you plan to marry? What else would it mean to be engaged?

(I’m sorry if this “big announcement” is a spoiler for you. Look up the definition of “engaged”. It means “pledged to be married”.)

So, no outrageous drama. No body guards. And I guess Chris will continue to simply be a reality television host.

Another random comment - the last bachelor, the British guy, and his “beloved” came on the show for a little interview. Was it just me, or did it seem to anyone else that they were less than thrilled as they watched clips of their engagement? Did anyone else think they seemed very strained and vague in their answers?

Since I think there’s like a 1% success rate for people on this show actually getting married, can I just say right now that I predict the British guy and the American actress will not ever get married? OK. You read it first here.

And a quick note to all these people who “fall in love” during a 16-week TV show: once the show is over, no cameras will follow you around your house night and day, and for sure no one will be paying for you to take dates in helicopters, in the Bahamas, or in the ocean deep sea diving with sharks. I hope you’re alright with a movie from Netflicks and dinner at Taco Cabana.

Don’t get me wrong. Netflicks and Taco Cabana suit me just fine. It is, after all, who you’re with and not how much money is being spent.

And I wouldn’t trade my crazy, exaggerating, highly comical husband for all the trips to the Bahamas in the world.