Attention, please.

Did you misplace your goat early this morning? Around 2 a.m.?

I mean, I understand those pesky bars on Lower Greenville in Dallas don't allow pets inside. So, I completely understand that you had to leave the goat outside. And you probably tied it up, right? With a nice, sturdy rope?

Well, your goat must have gotten hungry waiting for you to finish up your late-night partying and chewed right through the rope. (Or maybe it was a chain; I wouldn't put it past a goat to chomp straight through metal. Those goats will eat anything.)

Then your goat discovered it was free to wander the streets of Dallas. I must say, after the rope/chain, your goat must have sensed a need for some wholesome, organic nourishment since it was spotted running toward the nearby Whole Foods Market. I don't blame the goat; that's some good eating!

But, just so you know, the Dallas Sheriff's Department now has your goat in custody. So, you might want to put that on your to-do list for tomorrow: call to reclaim goat.