Health care, kind of.

I don't know what this has to do with health care really, or the bill that just passed, but I thought I'd share some random observations from the fitness center to which we belong.

(Also, I looked up a PDF file of the new "Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act". It's a little over 2400 pages long. The table of contents is 15 pages. Maybe over the next year I'll read through it.)

A.) A man comes upstairs to the cardio equipment section of the fitness center decked out in his work-out finest. He is carrying a cup of Starbucks and the newspaper. He proceeds to sit down on an exercise bike and pedal while sipping his Starbucks and reading a newspaper. Ummm. I'm pretty sure he's not breaking a sweat, because, who would drink coffee while sweating? And, I'm also fairly certain you can't pedal too fast otherwise you'd spill your coffee and not be able to read the newspaper print. I think we are kidding ourselves as to the amount of effort required to get a proper workout.

B.) A woman in the locker room at the fitness center is just crumpling up a bag from McDonald's and tossing it into the trashcan before heading out for her workout. I wonder if she knows she'll have to be on that treadmill for about three hours to counteract that double quarter pounder with cheese. I guess whatever it takes to get you motivated for a workout. (The monthly fee we're paying is quite enough for me.)

(Although, a double quarter pounder with cheese is sounding pretty great to me right now!)

C.) This observation is not from the fitness center to which we belong currently, but a past workout facility which shall remain nameless (it might rhyme with "Fold's Wym"). My husband sometimes likes to wake up before the sun to be the first one at the gym. I've never experienced that phenomenon, so this observation is taken from John. He arrives one morning and waits and waits and waits for someone to unlock the door to the fitness facility. Finally a lady shows up, explains that she's so sorry she overslept, and now his workout has to be cut short so he can make it to work on time. The NEXT morning, (yes, he woke up THAT early two days in a row), he shows up to a table filled with doughnuts as an apology from the staff member who overslept the day before. "Welcome to our fitness center. Have some doughnuts!"

So, in general, I see no need for McDonald's, Starbucks, or doughnut shops to worry about the economy - if they can cater even to the health-conscious who get up before the sun to work out I'm pretty sure they can stay in business. Thus stimulating a perpetual need for health care in this country. And more gym memberships.

I wonder if Starbucks has thought of adding some stationary bikes to their stores and charging fees so customers can burn some calories while sipping on their hazelnut mocha half-caf lattes. Just a thought.

Changing

This winter/spring it has snowed here three times. It's been snow that actually sticks. Enough of it to create snowmen and throw snowballs and mark the ground with snow angels. Today it is the second day of spring, it was freezing last night, and we got 2-3 inches of snow.

Things are just not the same around here.

John up and decided a couple weeks ago that he's going with a group of Baylor accounting students on their mission trip to Uganda in May. Since we would have to pay for me to go and I would be of absolutely no help whatsoever in doing accounting/small business-related projects, I will not be going on the trip. I can't imagine that three years ago I would have been OK with letting my husband go off to Africa without me for two weeks. Or that John would have just decided in a matter of a couple weeks to take a trip to Uganda that leaves in less than three months.

Things are just not the same around here.

Sometimes I wonder what will be happening a year or two or three from now that I would never have done or thought or been passionate about right now in 2010. I hope it's exciting.

I'm also aware that some things around here are not changing. Some things that should be different are just the same. Things like my heart and my attitude.

It's been almost exactly four months since we received our final negative pregnancy test result after doing our last infertility "treatment". While we decided not to continue going to a reproductive endocrinologist and I really am fine with that, I feel like I've just been kind of stuck since then. Sometimes I'm not sure what else to do to move on. Kids? Adoption? No kids? Moving? Changing jobs? Staying here? More ministry? Different volunteer work? Mission trips to other countries? Being more involved in our community?

Through the infertility Bible study I joined (again), I'm beginning to understand that I'm stuck because I'm afraid. I know in my head that to open up and be free to take hold of God's hand and go wherever He leads, even without knowing where that is yet, is ultimate joy and fulfillment. I'm just afraid that getting to that joy and fulfillment might bring more stress, more disappointment, more hurt, more pain, more discomfort...and I'm not sure I can handle any more right now.

And though it isn't exactly great being right here where I'm stuck, it feels safer than possibly moving on. So, there's one thing that I want to not be the same around here. And I hope the study I'm going through will get me through this stuck place. I want to be able to honestly say and believe Job 23:10-12:

"But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.
I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread."

Quality Control is Lacking

If I hadn't bought a lot of Wal-Mart gift cards in order to quickly rack up $750 on an American Airlines credit card to get the 25,000 miles promised with such expenditure, I would seriously consider never, ever shopping at Wal-Mart again.

I realize many of you prefer Target anyway, and I would too, except there is nary a Target anywhere close to our neighborhood nor is there one conveniently located on any of my many driving routes during the week.

Most of our produce and all of our meat is organic and/or hormone/antibiotic-free. Thus, all that stuff comes from places other than Wal-Mart. There are some things, like cleaning products, sandwich bags, and a lot of dairy products, that are just as good and whole lot cheaper at Wal-Mart. And, let's face it; since I'm spending twice as much on all the organic/hormone-free stuff we eat, I kind of need to spend the least amount possible on everything else.

(Although, can I just say how much I enjoy shopping at Central Market and Sprouts? I love the gourmet foods, the abundant samples, the sparkling cleanliness, the beautifully bright produce departments, the meat that looks perfect, and the quiet atmosphere. I wish I could do all my shopping there.)

However, yesterday was the last straw with the Wal-Mart. (Except, of course, for the multitude of gift cards I still have to use.) About eight months ago I bought a box of quart-size plastic bags at Wal-Mart. I remember because I opened up the box to bag up all those blueberries we picked last summer. I think you can even see part of the box in the background of this picture.



Well, that box, which was supposed to have 25 bags in it, had exactly seven. SEVEN! I took the box back, explained the ridiculousness of seven bags when there's supposed to be 25 and was given a brand new box in compensation. The people at Wal-Mart did not seem to care too much.

Then a few weeks ago I bought a can of beans only to open it up about a week after the purchase to discover the can was seriously only 1/2 full, at best. 1/2 a can of beans, sealed and everything! I was none too pleased. I wasn't sure how to get my money back on that one. I sure was not going to bring back an opened can of beans to the store.

Well, yesterday I went grocery shopping again. One of my purchases was Land-o-lakes fat free half & half. While putting up the groceries I pulled the half & half out of the bag and I though it seemed a little light - a fact I, unfortunately, did not notice in the store. (Although, I had bought more beans and spent a couple minutes weighing the cans in my hand to make sure I was getting what seemed like adequately heavy cans.) Sure enough, I unscrewed the top of the half & half to find the seal had already been broken and half the carton was missing!

Who chugs half a carton of half & half in the store? (Fat-free or not, that is disgusting.) Or maybe someone thought they'd just order black coffee somewhere and take a trip to the back of the Wal-Mart to smuggle themselves some free creamer for their beverage. Uuughh.

So, I grabbed the half & half and my car keys, went straight back to Wal-Mart and vented to the customer service lady...who just looked at me and asked if I'd just like to exchange it. Which I did. Even though it meant walking to the back 40 of the store to retrieve another carton (which I checked to make sure no tampering had occurred.)

I guess until my gift cards run out I'm just going to have to carry a scale with me to weigh my canned goods and unscrew the tops off of every container I intend to purchase to make sure the seal has not been tampered with. What has happened to quality control?!?

Some Unsolicited Advice

DisRadio is either a bad thing or genius. It's another perfect Disney World weather day, and I can listen to Disney music online. Either it takes the edge off the longing for a vacation in Orlando, or it makes me sad that I can't just go there. I can't decide.

Barlean's Fish Oil pills are 20% off at Sprouts - that's the huge bottle. I've decided you actually need the giant bottle if you're really going to take the recommended amount of fish oil in a day: at least 2 pills per day. And if my husband and I both take them, that's a minimum of 4 per day. (Although, I kind of have my doubts that either of us take two-a-day on a regular basis.)

There's a particular guy at an intersection near our house that stands out with a gas can telling people he's run out of gas in an effort to make some easy cash. How do I know he doesn't really need gas? Besides intuition? Well, I've seen him out there with the yellow gas can about ten times: tall, crew cut, aviator sunglasses, cell phone clipped to his belt, and he has nicer shoes than I do.

So, today he made the mistake of wasting his precious "red light time" knocking on my window to say he ran out of gas. I rolled down the window, smiling, and said, "You sure run out of gas a lot", to which he laughed a little and replied, "You're not supposed to know that."

The light turned green just then, so I didn't get to tell him I see him so often I feel he's a neighbor...and ask where he gets his shoes.

I'm pretty sure when I was pulling up, he was conning the people three cars in front of me out of some cash. Can I just say: People, you aren't winning any points in this life or the next by giving the panhandlers cash. OK. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

And now it might be time to give the cars a bath. (We make it a habit to not pay money for car washes, so with sunny, warm weather the time has come.) Now that I think of it, I should've asked the guy with the yellow gas can if he really wanted to work for some money to come wash the car for me. (Although, the fact that he wasn't even pretending to want to "work for food (or money, or anything)" might be a clue that he would not be interested. That and the fancy shoes.) It might have been worth the money if he actually said yes, and I could enjoy the day by laying in the sun reading rather than getting dirty and an arm workout washing the car.

Happiness and Battles

I love spring and fall...pleasant temperatures, trees with leaves, and blue skies are such a relief with the dreadfully hot summer sandwiched in-between. Even though it stormed this morning, the skies have cleared up, and hearing the birds and seeing the sun makes me happy.

When I was a teenager our family went to Disney World during this time of year (Mardi Gras or Spring Break)...about every other year. I don't know what it was about those vacations that was so magical. (A lot of it probably had to do with the fact that I wasn't paying for it and was pretty oblivious to how much my dad was shelling out to take us there.) Do you have fond childhood memories that come back to you at certain times of year? The smell in the air, the cool temperatures, and the sunny skies during late February and March always make me want to go to Disney World!

I'll have to settle for the Dallas Arboretum and the garden in the backyard for right now. And the past couple weeks with family have been a nice break from the routine, too.

I'm dealing with other less happy emotions this spring, too. I took my sister and nephew to the Dallas Arboretum yesterday. Unbeknownst to us, it was little children's playland over there yesterday morning: petting zoo, face painting, Kindermusik. My nephew had a great time while I fought the battle of being in a throng of obviously pregnant women who all already had children under the age of two. I'm dealing with anger more than I ever have before in the infertility process (which is why I've joined back up with my infertility support group Bible study). I know my dear sister was having to fight the battle, too. My nephew was born at 25 weeks and now, at 2 1/2 years, he brings a lot of health and developmental challenges to his family, but also so much joy and love! My sister never got to be "obviously pregnant".

It's funny how our individual lives, with their challenges and trials, just eventually become "normal", manageable, even fairly content....until we find ourselves around others who live without our unique difficulties. Then our lives become glaringly "not normal". Comparison is a tough battle to fight.

Interestingly enough, the sermon at church on Sunday touched on this. Do you know the story in Matthew 20:1-16? (A landowner hires workers throughout the day and then pays the ones who were there all day the same as he pays the ones who were only there one hour.) The workers hired at the beginning of the day presumed they would receive more money. They thought they knew how the guy in charge should work and what he would do. It struck me when our pastor said:

How about you? What do you “think”? Do you think you deserve to be happy?
Do you think only bad people should die young? Do you think the United States is God’s chosen country and immune to His judgment? Do you think sin has no consequences?... When things don’t work out the way we “think” they should, we fall apart or feel betrayed.

Another thing the workers hired first did was compare themselves to others. So, here's where comparison came into the message.

When we compare ourselves to others we sin twice; once by envying or coveting what others have and twice by ignoring the uniqueness God has given us. You are “his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works that we should walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10). There is no one else like you, created and called for God’s sovereign purpose. Stop comparing yourself to others and get busy doing what only you can do.

I know it will take time and hard work, but I really am hoping to learn these lessons. It helps to focus on what I'm thankful for - all the time! I'm thankful for the friendship I have with my sister. I'm thankful my nephew is alive and learning and growing and so sweet. I'm thankful for the best husband in the world. I'm thankful for the opportunities we have to give. I'm thankful for Ronnie and Martha. I'm thankful for a job doing what I'm passionate about and working with women who are such great examples to me.

I'm thankful that, with all the small children and their very pregnant moms, the weather yesterday was gorgeous, the grass was super green, and I got to hear my nephew laugh a lot.

Proceed Immediately!

We have had/are still having out of town family visiting us for the past couple weeks. Thus, life has been busy and full of items to chronicle on the blog, but time to sit at the computer has been scarce.

This late lunch break of mine is not going to be long enough to put my thoughts together, but I have something I want you to read.

Sight for the Blind is a must-read. Proceed to Shaun's blog immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Just go.