Beautiful Paintings

I learned of our miscarriage just about three weeks ago. It seems like ages.

A week and a half ago I had my second D&C, which seems to have taken care of everything.

Everything except the grief.

And on top of the grief and wanting desperately for life to seem normal again, last week I came down with severe allergy problems that I thought had turned into a cold and ended up being a sinus infection. Today I went back to the doctor to be diagnosed with bronchitis. Right now it seems the misery is never ending.

I feel like I should be 90 years old with all this talk of bodily ailments!

And even though it's the worst allergy season in 87 years (or something like that), all this physical illness is somehow related to my loss and grief. I just know it. Chinese medicine confirms my suspicions.

Have you ever noticed physical illnesses crop up or are exacerbated by loss and grief? (OK. I hadn't really ever paid much attention either...until now.) And I know everything going on in my body is because of numerous factors, not the least of which is the horrible allergy season and my immune system being compromised after surgeries.

But today I also found out that in Chinese medicine the chest and lungs are associated with the "family chi". A close family loss or illness can compromise these areas of the body. Maybe they figure the physical pain and hurt deep in the chest when we lose a loved one is more than just emotional.

And in my case, I can see how my body is demonstrating emotional pain in physical ways. I think I prefer just the tears to all the wheezing and coughing and feeling like I can't breathe.

A woman I don't even know, have never met, emailed us today. I know just by her few words and the fact that she is a fellow Compassion child sponsor that she is a caring, loving lady whom God is using in mighty ways. She also understands the journey we're walking right now. One sentence she wrote is sticking in my head today:

"Sometimes the Lord uses the darkest canvases to paint the most beautiful pictures."

I can't see it yet, but I hope I get to one day. Thank you for reminding me, Kathy.