Aaaaaand Cut!

Sometimes don't you think maybe it would be nice to hear those words. Then all the crazy, ridiculous, frustrating, dramatic, or chaotic things happening in your life could just become complete fiction and abruptly halt with two little words.

Aaaaaand Cut!

Then normal, happy, regular life would continue.

OK, so maybe you don't think that. Or maybe even just thinking in my own head right now has given me a different perspective on my own circumstances.

More importantly, this blog needs to inform all of you that my sweet husband did indeed make it through the "worst ice storm in five years" to his desired destination on Tuesday night.

Followed by a surreal ride in a shuttle (because once he got to his destination city there were no taxis at the airport) with a couple other guys who were complete strangers to John.

I say surreal because, according to John, this is how the conversation went:

Guy 1 to John: "So, where are you coming from?"
John: "Dallas."
Guy 1: "Are you going to the Wingate?"
John: "No." (While thinking in his head, "What is that? A hotel? A conference?")
Guy 2: "I'm going to the Wingate."
Guy 1: "Yea. You could stay someplace with more comfortable beds, but if you stay at the Wingate you get a car."
(At this point John tells me he is busy contemplating what in the heck this means: "They give you a car with your hotel room? It's so cheap and nasty you can rent a car and still be under budget?" And then...)
Guy 2 to John: "So, are you the Controller of DFW?"
John: "No." (While thinking in his head, "What?!? Where did that come from?")

Anyway, he's coming back home tonight...where the conversations are less strange.

A little.

A Window of Opportunity

The "worst ice storm in five years" is upon us.

Hot chocolate. Check.

Warm, fuzzy socks. Check.

A hot bath. Check.

Chocolate cupcakes. Check.

Heater cranked up. Check.

A big old pile of books waiting to be read. Check.

Tonight our small group was going to have a Girls Gone Wild night and a Boys Night Out. Emails flew back and forth all day until a decision was reached to postpone the event until next week since today's news was filled with dire warnings about how we should NOT venture forth from our homes this evening due to the catastrophic ice event that is going to take place.

As it turns out, my husband decided an hour and a half ago that he really needed to get to his out-of-town job and it looked like his early flight in the morning might end up being cancelled, what with all the HORRENDOUS ICE. After monitoring flights all day (they were all cancelled), he finally discovered one flight was taking off at 8:30 tonight.

So, men of our small group, I really appreciate your concern for everyone's safety in postponing your Boys Night Out. My husband is now flying through the "worst ice storm in five years" in a recently de-iced airplane after driving halfway across town in the storm to the airport.

Despite the radio reports that the roads are probably bumper-to-bumper cars with stalled traffic and accidents on every corner, my husband (who is now in the air somewhere over North Texas) assured me his drive to the airport was rather uneventful.

Ummm, maybe because the entire area was warned repeatedly throughout the day to "TAKE SHELTER! DO NOT VENTURE OUT IN THE ICE!"

While waiting to board the plane, my husband helpfully called to tell me he heard it was going to start "really sleeting in about an hour, so don't go out."

Oh. OK. (Do as I say, not as I do?)

And, really. I cannot think of the last time I decided I needed to leave the house to go somewhere at 9 p.m. on a weekday.

That's about the time I'll be getting into my pajamas and having a cupcake!

Air Travel Conspiracy

I'm convinced it's a conspiracy of some sort.

The TSA rules specifically state that liquids and gels carried onboard an airplane be limited to 3 oz. containers.

John is flying every week these days and checking baggage is not an expedient option. We went shopping to buy him the necessary gels and liquids in the appropriate size containers so he can just carry-on his small bag for these two and three day trips.

I promise you that saline solution for contact lens wearers comes in two small sizes: a.) a 2 oz. bottle packaged with a contact lens case and b.) a 4 oz. bottle.

It also so happens that the 4 oz. bottle says, right there on the packaging: "travel size" complete with a picture of an airplane. This type of false advertising should not be legal.

If we continue buying the 2 oz. regulation size saline solution bottles, we will have more contact lens cases than we know what to do with. (As it is I think we have an entire drawer full of them already.) To add insult to injury, the 2 oz. package is almost twice as much as the 4 oz. bottle! Granted, it does come with a case (THAT I DON'T WANT).

My husband decided he wanted to buy one 4 oz. bottle to use as an experiment. Will the security people even notice that this bottle is 1 ounce larger than regulations permit?

I did some further research on TSA's website and discovered that saline solution counts as a "medically necessary liquid", meaning any size can be brought onboard as long as it is in a separate bag and it is handed over and shown to the security person on duty to visually inspect and approve.

My husband wasn't thrilled with this option since he gets to the airport just in time to go through security and board his plane...no time for extra shenanigans with the security people.

How hard would it be to produce 3 oz. bottles of saline solution?

(Ridiculous) Reality TV

I have had a cold the last two days, and (besides working) pretty much all I have been doing is sleeping. I hear the only thing I've missed on TV is coverage of pre-inauguration events and commentary.

And, truth be told, I actually missed the entire inauguration ceremony this morning. Judging by the headline news on the internet I assume we have a new 44th president.

Also, judging by the line at the post office and the patients at the doctor's office I was not the only one who missed the inauguration.

I don't know whether this makes me a bad American or your normal, run-of-the-mill American, but one TV event I did not miss in the last few days was last night's episode of The Bachelor. (That was my entertainment while sitting on the sofa wrapped in a blanket eating chicken noodle soup for dinner between taking a long nap and going to bed for the night.)

Since I was on cold medication I don't have many clear memories of the show, but I do remember thinking at one point, "If I were looking for a partner who was going to be the step-mom of my child, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to choose a woman who says in one moment she's 'ready to be a mom' and then follows that up by using no less than eight curse words in a single sentence."

But, let's face it; a bunch of friendly, sweet, honest, wholesome women would just not draw the huge viewing audience.

Oh, and I do believe the theme of the episode was "bust".

Not that this surprises anyone, but we do not have a DVR. After last night I am 100% certain the lack of such device dramatically decreases our TV-watching. Who (other than a woman at home by herself feeling run over by a Mack truck because of a cold) would sit and watch two hours of TV when there are six minutes of commercials every eight minutes?

To make up for my lazy evening of The Bachelor I think I might just go download some CNN videos of inauguration events...that'll stimulate the brain cells. (As in, I'll probably listen to an entire speech (or two or three) intently trying to figure out what the specific message is when it's all a bunch of generalized fluff about hope, change, and responsibility.)

OK. Realistically I will probably just go take another nap. My brain cells could use some rest before being assaulted with the goings-on of the U.S. political arena.

Accomplishing Amazing Feats With No Running Water

I proved myself to be a woman who can survive without running water on Sunday.

(OK. Not all day Sunday, just all afternoon and evening.)

Our kitchen faucet has become irreparably corroded due to the fact that a.) it's old and b.) the faucet has been almost imperceptibly been leaking water while in use for who knows how long.

After finally determining that the faucet is indeed leaking, my husband spent the better part of Sunday replacing the faucet with a brand new one!

With a house as old as ours, it is never as simple as following the instructions included with the product for installation. No, it's a matter of: shutting off the water to the entire house to complete this project because the water shut-valve for this particular plumbing apparatus in our home is stuck open, maneuvering around cabinet doors that awkwardly open so as to leave as little space as possible to work under the sink, and resorting to a hammer and a rusted plumber's helper to unscrew the water shut-off valve (because for some inexplicable reason the new hose will not screw onto the old water shut-off valve pipe so we have to replace that, too).

It was mostly my husband working on this project while I took a Sunday afternoon nap, did some reading, and accompanied him (once) to the nearby builder supply store.

I do believe he made at least four trips to that builder supply store on Sunday, the final one being minutes before they closed. He took my advice and bought every part that could be close to the part he needed because this was his final chance of the day. Thankfully one of the parts was a perfect match and we will be returning the other items next weekend.

So, I felt I should make a nice dinner for my tired, frustrated, sweaty husband. (Because we all know that in these tough economic times eating out is a luxury. OK. It's always been a luxury for us because we're cheapskates. Thankfully I like to cook.)

Armed with no running water and only two pitchers of water, I commenced the dinner-making. With careful organization and planning I prepared and cooked with the least number of needed hand-washings while still keeping the meal completely sanitary. In the end, we had steak, twice-baked potatoes, and spinach. My husband was duly impressed that my mess was contained to one corner of the kitchen while he used the rest of the kitchen as his "work area" and that I accomplished this feat with only one pitcher of water.

For a second, I thought, "I could survive if the terrorists decide to attack us (in some other way apart from our economy and world political standing)."

Um. Then I remembered that I was only without running water for 2/3 of a day. And we still had electricity, vehicles filled with gas, a working heater, money, and relatives in town who still had running water and to whom we would have gone to take shelter for the night had the state of our house not changed for the better.

Anyway, no disaster ensued. My husband is a genius at fixing things...plus he's about a hundred times more patient than I am.

And now I know I can cook a meal with one pitcher of water and access to only 20% of my kitchen. I shall keep that in mind next time I need to update my resume.

Oh, I definitely needed a laugh today.

In case you're not one of the 7 million who has already seen this review of 2008, here it is for your viewing pleasure:



I heard someone say on the radio the other day that it was a great year for the news parody and late-night shows what with all the economic and political dysfunction. I do believe 2009 might be shaping up to provide ample fodder in these arenas as well.

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Deaton cousins second annual Six Flags Trip

Last Friday 14 of my cousins, aunts, uncles, other family members, and friends went to Six Flags. This is our second annual outing to Holiday in the Park. The weather was better this year and the crowds were thin. Plus, one cousin (Zach) has an injury so we rented him a wheelchair. This was $25 well spent since we got to skip to the front of the line on several rides.

Cause and Effect

We will be taking down the excessive yard decorations this weekend sometime. But before we do, I thought I'd post a much-belated photo of our light extravaganza. (Unfortunately, the pictures do not do it justice since we have such a sprawling corner lot (that's the lot, not the house that's sprawling...just to be clear) and it's hard to photo the entire scene at once.)




John efficiently set up some light timers for the Christmas lights. And after a couple hours the first evening, this is the unfortunate effect all that electricity had on one of our poor light timers:



I believe it was smoking when John discovered it.

With modest electricity usage in other areas of the house while the Christmas lights are glowing, avoiding any usage of the vacuum cleaner or hairdryer, and setting up multiple surge protectors we found a way to continue lighting the entire outdoor show this holiday season.

It's kind of a shame to take it all down, but I refuse to be the neighbors whose Christmas lights become a permanent fixture on their house.