Pointing, Reaching, Stretching

A couple days ago I thought I noticed Grace pointing with her little pointer finger. I confirmed this morning that she has learned how to point to things she wants (this morning it was yogurt).

Although I never measure her, and her clothes all still seem to fit, I can tell Grace is growing taller based on which shelves on the bookcases she can reach. She has now started pulling down books form the top shelf of the bookcase in her room. Guess I'm going to need to relocate all those paper books I've been keeping out of her reach! I also need to reorganize the other bookcases since they're a mess of piled up, randomly stacked books that have migrated up to higher and higher shelves as Grace's reach extends.

Every time I remember Grace's first birthday will be here in just over a month, I want to cry. How can she be getting this old already? Of course, I'm also so happy to see her growing and developing and excited to see what she'll be like next month...or next year!

Recently, I've decided being a stay-at-home mom is perhaps not the healthiest or most natural job for me. Don't get me wrong: I wouldn't go back to work, and I can't imagine not spending so much time with my daughter now that I've gotten to be here at home with her for almost a year. It's just that I think I might be a bit more anxious (about everything!) than other stay-at-home moms. I still find myself worrying all the time about whether she's sleeping enough, whether I'm messing up by not letting her put herself to sleep most of the time, whether she's eating enough, whether I'm adequately balancing allowing her to be independent and having secure attachment with John and me, how I'm going to wean her, if she should be drinking from a cup already, whether she is getting enough social interaction, and the list could go on and on. Maybe every first-time mom thinks about these things often. I just feel like these are the things about which I am almost always thinking. Worrying is probably the more accurate word.

Also, is it really OK to get as little done as I am currently getting done? After a glass bowl shattered into a million pieces at lunch the other day (because I left it too close to Grace...or her reach had yet again extended!), I realized maybe one of the reasons I get less done is that I end up spending 45 minutes or an hour trying to clean up tiny shards of glass from everywhere in the kitchen...or instead of a quick diaper change before heading out the door, I have to clean up a blow-out complete with an outfit change...or rather than a 15-minute breakfast, Grace is ravenously hungry and keeps eating and eating and eating so breakfast lasts 45 minutes. When we get to the store, it takes ten minutes to put Grace's hat and coat on, get a shopping cart outfitted with the shopping cart cover, and belt my squirmy little girl into the cart seat. I used to be able to just walk into the store - it took a minute, tops. It makes me feel a bit better to realize how much extra time everything takes when I'm doing everything for me AND for Grace, or when I'm doing everything with a tiny child attached to my leg.

This is how my overly analytical mind works! It really helps to read books like How Children Succeed (Paul Tough). Now I have even more child-raising theories to ponder. (I thought it was actually a great book.)

All in all, I've decided I probably need to stop comparing myself to other moms. This most likely includes not getting on facebook except to post updates and pictures of Grace every once in a while for all those out-of-towners who like to watch her development. I made no New Year's resolutions, so maybe this can be my end-of-January resolution. Stop worrying could be another one, but that is honestly a life-long continual project for me! Being a mom is definitely stretching me.