Pointing, Reaching, Stretching

A couple days ago I thought I noticed Grace pointing with her little pointer finger. I confirmed this morning that she has learned how to point to things she wants (this morning it was yogurt).

Although I never measure her, and her clothes all still seem to fit, I can tell Grace is growing taller based on which shelves on the bookcases she can reach. She has now started pulling down books form the top shelf of the bookcase in her room. Guess I'm going to need to relocate all those paper books I've been keeping out of her reach! I also need to reorganize the other bookcases since they're a mess of piled up, randomly stacked books that have migrated up to higher and higher shelves as Grace's reach extends.

Every time I remember Grace's first birthday will be here in just over a month, I want to cry. How can she be getting this old already? Of course, I'm also so happy to see her growing and developing and excited to see what she'll be like next month...or next year!

Recently, I've decided being a stay-at-home mom is perhaps not the healthiest or most natural job for me. Don't get me wrong: I wouldn't go back to work, and I can't imagine not spending so much time with my daughter now that I've gotten to be here at home with her for almost a year. It's just that I think I might be a bit more anxious (about everything!) than other stay-at-home moms. I still find myself worrying all the time about whether she's sleeping enough, whether I'm messing up by not letting her put herself to sleep most of the time, whether she's eating enough, whether I'm adequately balancing allowing her to be independent and having secure attachment with John and me, how I'm going to wean her, if she should be drinking from a cup already, whether she is getting enough social interaction, and the list could go on and on. Maybe every first-time mom thinks about these things often. I just feel like these are the things about which I am almost always thinking. Worrying is probably the more accurate word.

Also, is it really OK to get as little done as I am currently getting done? After a glass bowl shattered into a million pieces at lunch the other day (because I left it too close to Grace...or her reach had yet again extended!), I realized maybe one of the reasons I get less done is that I end up spending 45 minutes or an hour trying to clean up tiny shards of glass from everywhere in the kitchen...or instead of a quick diaper change before heading out the door, I have to clean up a blow-out complete with an outfit change...or rather than a 15-minute breakfast, Grace is ravenously hungry and keeps eating and eating and eating so breakfast lasts 45 minutes. When we get to the store, it takes ten minutes to put Grace's hat and coat on, get a shopping cart outfitted with the shopping cart cover, and belt my squirmy little girl into the cart seat. I used to be able to just walk into the store - it took a minute, tops. It makes me feel a bit better to realize how much extra time everything takes when I'm doing everything for me AND for Grace, or when I'm doing everything with a tiny child attached to my leg.

This is how my overly analytical mind works! It really helps to read books like How Children Succeed (Paul Tough). Now I have even more child-raising theories to ponder. (I thought it was actually a great book.)

All in all, I've decided I probably need to stop comparing myself to other moms. This most likely includes not getting on facebook except to post updates and pictures of Grace every once in a while for all those out-of-towners who like to watch her development. I made no New Year's resolutions, so maybe this can be my end-of-January resolution. Stop worrying could be another one, but that is honestly a life-long continual project for me! Being a mom is definitely stretching me.

Ten Months...and Happy New Year! (Yeah, I know it was, like, 2 weeks ago.)

Why do I feel like the worst mom ever for not documenting my only child's first year of tremendous development? Her baby book is only half done. When I remember to write down milestones, I usually make a note in my day planner and then jot them down in the baby book when I think of it. That hasn't happened for at least three months now. There are no pictures printed, no blog posts written, no videos taken.

Well, that's not completely true. I think I have a video of Grace grabbing a rattle for the first time, eating solids for the first time, and crawling for the first time.

Our little girl just turned ten months. How can one year be so close already? Grace crawls at a very efficient and fast pace now. Especially if she hears the fridge, freezer, or dishwasher opening, she's there in about two seconds! Some time during her ninth month, she really starting cruising along the furniture. Crawling and pulling up came right at the same time....along with pulling everything off the shelves she could reach. And her reach has extended. Now the second shelf items are no longer safe. Just before Christmas she really started opening cabinets of her own accord.

We're in trouble.

We ordered cabinet locks a couple days ago, and I'm making a pile of breakable items on the kitchen counter as she discovers more and more non-childproof items stored in the lower cabinets. Grace loves to empty out the cabinets so she can crawl into them...and reach even more stuff in the way back!

And there's also this:

There is no opening the dishwasher with Grace in the house unless you want her to "help".

Grace "sings" and knows the signs for "more" and "all done". If you ask her how big she is, she'll put both hands all the way up in the air so you can tell her, "Soooo big!". She has this little hand motion she makes that means she wants to sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" or she wants to sing it again after we've just sung it.

I love her laugh. Sometimes I can't figure out what she's laughing at, but it makes my day to hear her. Her smile is contagious, and it's a good thing she's so cute since she still takes very short and/or random naps and has decided to wake up almost every night at some point and scream and cry until we go in to settle her down.

Another thing she started doing right before Christmas is wanting to play chase. If I'm down on the floor with her and say "I'm gonna get you!", she'll take off crawling away and stop every once in a while to look back to see if I'm chasing her. Or she'll clap her hands, crawl away and stop and look back if she wants me to chase her. It is so fun!

She doesn't say any words, but I have no doubt she understands what we say most of the time. Grace babbles quite a lot, whether anyone is there to listen to her or not. I'm thankful every night that we moved here so John can be home with us in the evenings. We all get to eat dinner together, so Grace gets to be involved in our conversations and learns to be patient while eating with us at the table.

Here's just a random picture of Grace picking out her first Christmas tree.

We might not give her the job of choosing the tree anymore. For the first year since we've been married, the tree lasted, oh, about five days before it started shedding needles. At week two it started smelling like vomit. (Sorry, Grace! At least we escaped to Grammie and Pop's house to enjoy their artificial tree in all its unscented splendor.)

Grace is beautiful. I'm appreciating every little thing she does and how she changes and grows (even if I'm a failure at documenting it very well). I know I've said it before, but I can't imagine how I can love someone so much. Our daughter is such a wonderful, miraculous gift.