Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I wish I did not need to interject this serious post.

The time has finally come to have a serious post. I wish I could make all of this humorous, but the Funny is escaping me today. Also, I do not wish this blog to turn into the details of my life so, for those of you who feel the same way, do not despair! I will only update this serious post every once in a while.

And in between, hopefully I will find more mundane, random, strange, and/or exciting tales with which to entertain you.

I was diagnosed a couple months ago with stage 4 (severe) endometriosis. God has graciously allowed me to not have any of the pain normally associated with the disease.

But for some reason, that even the best doctors cannot pinpoint other than "endometriosis", I cannot get pregnant.

Even expensive, severely emotionally traumatic, time-consuming medical procedures will not guarantee a viable pregnancy. It's possible something else in the "in utero environment" is too toxic for a baby to grow. No one can give me real answers.

We have always been open to adoption, but right now is not the time to pursue that. I am grieving. Constantly.

I try all the time to act like I'm not tired, am capable of making decisions, and do not carry around sadness as my constant companion. (Because no one can stand to be around that all the time...except those of us who can't get away from it.)

It is perhaps going through all of this that has made keeping up this blog harder and harder. I'm finding it difficult to focus on everyday things or find the humor in situations. Thank God for my husband! He keeps me laughing and is one of the greatest gifts God has given me - regardless of who else ever gets added to our family.

I know that our close relatives are also grieving this situation, but in a much softer way.

I apologize to any close friends and family that are reading this post today and are offended that I have not shared this information with you in person. Things have been emotional, and I just can't go through the explanations and the story over and over and over. We'd love for you to pray for us.

So, currently we are going through medical procedures to try to get pregnant. This time it's IUI. (I will not put a link here, but you can look it up yourself if you're curious.) We're doing the procedure tomorrow, so if you'd like, you can pray for success, for God to be in control of how many eggs are fertilized and become embryos, and just for our peace of mind through all these procedures and decisions.

Despite the outcome of any medical procedures we may pursue, we firmly believe God will give us the desires of our heart and a full, purposeful life - even if that means changing the desires of our heart. And it will all happen in His perfect timing.

I imagine if you continued reading this post to this point you a.)know and care about us, b.)have gone through something similar yourself, or c.)are bored out of your mind. Whatever is the case, you are now updated. We appreciate all your prayers.

Next time on Adventures in Life: something really funny, witty and thought-provoking...maybe...I hope.

Oh, what am I saying?

This blog is more of a slightly funny, random, "whatever comes to my mind" kind of project. That, I can promise, will return in all its glory very shortly.

2 comments:

e said...

Oh Erin, I am so sorry. I certainly will be on my knees.

Much love,
e

Unknown said...

Hi Erin and John,

This is Greg Gipson from the Compassion Uganda trip. I received your Christmas card (thanks it was great to hear from you), and I visited your blog today for the first time and read this article. I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you guys. All things are possible with God, and I know he will fulfill the desires of your heart more than you can even imagine. You will be blessed in whatever way your family grows and expands. I'll keep checking in to see how you guys are doing.

Blessings,
Greg