A New Form of Entertainment

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

And this one definitely makes me laugh!

Background: we are extremely frugal people, which is a great thing in "these tough economic times".

(John, by the way, finds it amusing to count how many times that particular phrase is used during meetings, phone calls, or conversations. Sometimes he throws it in the discussion just because he thinks it is hilarious how often that expression is used these days: "With these tough economic times I'm getting my haircut at 9:30 tomorrow.")

(OK. Maybe he doesn't really go that far.)

When we moved back to the U.S. and John became a manager at work, he decided to take advantage of his company's offer to (mostly) pay for him to have a cell phone with internet capabilities. Even so, we have to pay a small portion of the bill, so he opts for the cheapest plan possible while limiting his texting and phone calls as much as he can.

It turns out that he has been on a job for the past few months that require him to be out of town quite a lot and to make numerous phone calls to teams all around the world. So, at the beginning of the year, my dear husband called up his cell phone company to get some more minutes added to his existing plan.

Even after the initial conversation, John called the company back to make sure this was still a national plan. After all, basically none of the calls he is making are from Dallas, and he told the customer service people this. They assured him it was a national plan.

So, we get a bill from the cell phone company this week...for $659.28!!!

Think about that one a minute. One month for one cell phone: $659.28.

I'm fairly certain we might not even spend that much money for our living expenses every month!

When John called about this, he very calmly asked a few other questions first and then pulled out, "There is one more thing you could help me with. Could you tell me why my bill this month is $659.28?"

Ummm. Turns out they put him on a regional plan. Meaning every call he made last month was charged as a "roaming" call. We were surprised there is even such a thing as a "regional plan" anymore.

John quickly assured the customer service lady that she could just go ahead and fix the charges because they weren't going to get a penny of the $659.28. And, somehow, as only my husband could do, the final bill for last month ended up being much less than we usually pay. The plan is also revised back to a national calling plan.

Every time I see the cell phone bill, I just start laughing. The funniest part is that the most expensive call listed in the details was made to a TOLL FREE NUMBER for $36.75.

I think we might frame this bill for our own entertainment.

Mardi Gras Without the Parades

I have a friend who's getting ready to go to China with her husband to work for a mission organization. She was regaling us with tales the other day of stories they heard from some former Chinese missionaries.

For instance, when in China, you need to get used to seeing people, especially children, squat down just about anywhere to relieve themselves.

Well, this afternoon, right here in America, I witnessed this very occurrence. In a Walmart.
I tend to go shopping on Tuesdays since it's my day off, and never have I seen Walmart so crowded in the middle of the day on a Tuesday! There were even more check-out lines open than usual, but the lines still wound their way out into the main aisle of the store.

While the woman in front of me was paying for her LARGE quantity of items, she turned around just in time to see the woman in the line next to us checking out...with her four-year-old son standing right there next to per peeing on the floor.

The lady in front of me tapped the mom on the shoulder while pointing to the boy and exclaimed, "Look! Look! Look!" (in Spanish because the woman with the bladder-challenged boy was probably from Mexico).

Honestly, the mom kind of gave the woman in front of me an evil look and just said, "I know."

Like it was our fault her son had urinated all over the floor...in the Walmart.

So, this got me to thinking about the big crowds and long lines in the store today, and what on earth I would have done had my child decided just as we were done shopping and getting into a check-out line that he HAD to go to the bathroom. (I'm assuming we all know small boys like that have little control over the bladder once they figure out they HAVE to go.)

Obviously with approximately 12 people in front of you in line, you would realize the process was going to take a while. All I could come up with was: get out of line, park the basket of groceries somewhere where hopefully no one will confiscate it (because the restrooms, of course, are beyond the check-out area), escort the child to the restroom, then return to your carefully hidden shopping cart and resume the check-out process.

I'm not a parent, though, so I'd love to know if there are better solutions to the problem. My solution is at least better than just allowing your little boy to pee all over the floor.
Unless you're in China. Then, apparently it's acceptable.

Oh! Happy Mardi Gras!

(And so perhaps seeing someone relieve themselves out in public all over the floor is somewhat appropriate to today's holiday after all. Maybe I should have been throwing some beads.)

Risk-taking...on the sofa

My husband thrives on chaos, lives for adventure, and dreams big. He's not averse to taking some risks.

So, he decided to be an accountant. Go figure.

He also decided to marry me. I thrive on organization, live for planned-out travels, and dream realistically and conservatively.

I admit that being married to John has actually taught me to be a little more laid-back and flexible. (I'm not certain my traits have rubbed off on him too much.)

Our differences will probably always be quite noticeable to the average onlooker.

Case in point: John dreams of traveling to Antarctica; the continent fascinates him as do the people that choose to live there. Antarctica is interesting to me as well...in theory, from a distance. John is well aware that should he choose to take a cruise to Antarctica, or fly to the icy continent from New Zealand, he will be traveling without me. It's just too much risk for me. And it's a bit too cold. And strange.

So, rather than watch a chic-flick last night, I picked out a documentary entitled "Encounters at the End of the World", a film about Antarctica by Werner Herzog. Let's just say my husband was overly enthusiastic. (Chalk up one point for me!)

As it turns out, the film is amazing, intriguing, and stunning. Herzog stated he wished to document the Antarctic without making "another movie about penguins". He succeeded.

The documentary offers gorgeous footage both above and below the surface of ice as well as interesting short interviews with various people who choose to live and work on the continent, all put to perfect music.

I have to say, I had no idea the underwater dialogue of seals was so musical. And the inhabitants? They are pretty much just as one would suspect those who travel to the end of the world would be - philosophers, linguists, humanitarians, specialized biologists, scientists who spend their entire lives studying glaciers and icebergs.

So, last night we traveled to the end of the world on our sofa. I highly recommend it.

(By the way, we checked out this DVD from the library - I'm not as sacrificial as I might appear since I made no monetary expenditure to watch a documentary about Antarctica. There's really no way I would ever be that generous when it comes to documentaries on movie night!)

(But I still think I get a point for this one!)

I wish I did not need to interject this serious post.

The time has finally come to have a serious post. I wish I could make all of this humorous, but the Funny is escaping me today. Also, I do not wish this blog to turn into the details of my life so, for those of you who feel the same way, do not despair! I will only update this serious post every once in a while.

And in between, hopefully I will find more mundane, random, strange, and/or exciting tales with which to entertain you.

I was diagnosed a couple months ago with stage 4 (severe) endometriosis. God has graciously allowed me to not have any of the pain normally associated with the disease.

But for some reason, that even the best doctors cannot pinpoint other than "endometriosis", I cannot get pregnant.

Even expensive, severely emotionally traumatic, time-consuming medical procedures will not guarantee a viable pregnancy. It's possible something else in the "in utero environment" is too toxic for a baby to grow. No one can give me real answers.

We have always been open to adoption, but right now is not the time to pursue that. I am grieving. Constantly.

I try all the time to act like I'm not tired, am capable of making decisions, and do not carry around sadness as my constant companion. (Because no one can stand to be around that all the time...except those of us who can't get away from it.)

It is perhaps going through all of this that has made keeping up this blog harder and harder. I'm finding it difficult to focus on everyday things or find the humor in situations. Thank God for my husband! He keeps me laughing and is one of the greatest gifts God has given me - regardless of who else ever gets added to our family.

I know that our close relatives are also grieving this situation, but in a much softer way.

I apologize to any close friends and family that are reading this post today and are offended that I have not shared this information with you in person. Things have been emotional, and I just can't go through the explanations and the story over and over and over. We'd love for you to pray for us.

So, currently we are going through medical procedures to try to get pregnant. This time it's IUI. (I will not put a link here, but you can look it up yourself if you're curious.) We're doing the procedure tomorrow, so if you'd like, you can pray for success, for God to be in control of how many eggs are fertilized and become embryos, and just for our peace of mind through all these procedures and decisions.

Despite the outcome of any medical procedures we may pursue, we firmly believe God will give us the desires of our heart and a full, purposeful life - even if that means changing the desires of our heart. And it will all happen in His perfect timing.

I imagine if you continued reading this post to this point you a.)know and care about us, b.)have gone through something similar yourself, or c.)are bored out of your mind. Whatever is the case, you are now updated. We appreciate all your prayers.

Next time on Adventures in Life: something really funny, witty and thought-provoking...maybe...I hope.

Oh, what am I saying?

This blog is more of a slightly funny, random, "whatever comes to my mind" kind of project. That, I can promise, will return in all its glory very shortly.

I Would Show You a Picture...

We have a Post on our front porch. Since the paint seemed to be peeling off and cracking, we decided it would be an easy project to re-paint this Post while the weather is not yet as hot as the surface of the sun.

The Post falsely advertised (what with the cracks and the peeling paint) that it would be a cinch to scrape down and sand. After working for a couple hours Saturday my hands and arms hurt, so I decided to call it quits for the day, even though I was well aware we were now broadcasting ourselves as white trash with a half-scraped Post on the front porch. (And utterly dead azalea bushes in the front planter box, but that's another story.)

Here is where I would insert a picture of the white trash front porch, but, alas, our camera seems to be broken. Our faithful little camera has taken 10,500 pictures on three continents. RIP.

Thankfully, other than the front porch post excitement, we have no eventful happenings coming up in the near future that would need documentation. So, we have plenty of time to consider which lucky camera might get the next shot at traveling around the world with us.

Or, John might decide to be ambitious and order a part that he thinks might fix our old camera, then figure out how to take the camera apart and install the new part, then put the camera back together like new.

I'm thinking after spending Sunday afternoon on the Post (more scraping and sanding), John might have had his fill of playing handyman for a while.

Until we decide, the blog will, sadly, be sans pictures. I will be sure to describe in great detail the beauty of our Post...when one day we finish re-painting it.