Out of Favor with the Lunch Lady

In the U.S., John usually went out to a restaurant with the audit team every day for lunch. In the Netherlands, the custom is to go to the first floor of whatever office building he happens to be in and dine at the company cafeteria. He has come to expect quite a variety of quality in the food, depending on the cafeteria, and also depending on the day. There are always a few constants--plenty of bread, cheese, and lunch meats. Milk is always an option, and the cafeterias will usually have two choices of soup. Even the smallest cafeterias will offer kroket--a fried, roll-type snack containing a mixture of an unknown meat and gravy. It's actually quite good. It is fried, after all. Herring is something he hasn't tried yet, but it comes highly recommended by his Dutch colleagues. This is a Dutch delicacy and is eaten raw, sometimes with onions. You pick the fish up by the tail, let it slide gradually into your mouth, and swallow it whole. Wow. The one thing to always remember about the cafeteria, no matter which country you're in, is this: don't ever, ever mess with the lunch lady.

Today John was eating at the cafeteria of his current client, which is usually quite good. Today was no exception--they were offering something that resembled Hamburger Helper. When going through the hot line at this particular cafeteria, all you have to say is "small," "medium," or "large." There is a 30-35 cent difference in price between each size, and the medium and large meals come on a larger plate with a blue rim. This is where it starts getting confusing for the cashiers. Since the medium and large meals come on identical plates, they have to be specially trained to notice the difference between the four spoonfuls of Hamburger Helper you get with a medium meal and the five spoonfuls that come with a large.

Last week one of John's colleagues ordered a medium plate, and another ordered a large. They happened to be comparing receipts during the meal and noticed that both were charged for a medium. One of them (Carl) remembered this today and decided to opt for a large plate. As John ordered his large plate, he explained the pricing discrepancy to Brooke in what he thought was a quiet voice. After the lunch lady served up five heaping spoonfuls of Hamburger Helper, she starting running off at the mouth in Dutch. He replied with his usual response--"I'm sorry?" and she proceeded to say some other things in Dutch. His Dutch friends, and all of the other Dutch people in the vicinity, immediately understood that she was saying, "You should tell the cashier that you have a large plate." Apparently he wasn't talking as quietly as he thought.

Needless to say, John paid the full price for the large while Carl again got away with paying the medium price. But that's not the worst part. Now every time he goes through the line, John has to face the lunch lady and wonder how or when she will choose to retaliate.