Square TV

Sometimes I read other people's blogs and think, "When do those moms with small children ever have time to watch TV?"

I watch exactly three shows, but never, EVER in real time, and it's honestly been about three or four weeks since I've been caught up on two of those three shows. The one show I keep up with is Downton Abbey. (As in, sometime during the week I find time to watch the most recent episode in multiple parts, on the computer, usually while folding laundry.)

And this is the reason why we still have a square TV....and no cable. I can't tell you the last time I watched live television, and (other than Downton Abbey, which I watch on the computer) it's been several weeks since I've even used the Huluplus. This does not make a good case for spending money on a new TV.

This week I had to avert my eyes from numerous blog posts containing spoilers, and heard several times about how sad this week's episode of Downton Abbey was, so I decided to watch sooner this week rather than later.

Even knowing it would be sad did not prepare me. I (along with every other Downton Abbey viewer who has a heart) could not keep the tears from flowing over a fictional story and a fictional character. That's some great writing...and acting. It probably is so emotional because, though a fictional show, the situation is real. It's happened to people I know...or some similarly distressing, life-threatening situation involving babies and mothers.

In fact, I'm praying right now for a little baby girl named Berkley who is a week old and in the NICU with an, as yet, unspecified genetic disorder that's causing all sorts of medical and developmental issues. I can't keep the tears from coming when I pray for her and her family, or when I look at my own daughter and think, "What a miracle she is!"

After having a nephew who was born four months early, going through infertility, losing a baby, and now having a biological baby girl who is an undeserved gift, I perhaps feel a little bit more deeply about motherhood, infertility, and giving birth than I otherwise would have. It's funny how grief and joy are so intertwined and intense.

Would we truly appreciate and understand joy without experiencing grief?

Once again this year, in honor of our first child, we're making a gift to Compassion's Child Survival Program, which helps save the lives of babies and mothers in poverty. I guess being able to give to Compassion is just one more reason to go ahead and keep the square TV.