Before I knew for sure that we would be moving this fall, I had grand plans of taking an awesome vacation during my second trimester, assuming I made it to my second trimester. After all, I have not been on a vacation at all this year and I'm assuming that vacations will be off the list of things to do next year with an infant.
And now here I am, over a month into my second trimester, living in an apartment in a new city with very few friends around, closing on a house in a couple weeks, still waiting for the previous house to sell, and scrutinizing which appliances and home furnishings we need to/should/can afford to purchase at this time.
It is not the vacation I had imagined in my head. Part of me wishes I'd known when we took that last trip (I believe it was Hawaii over a year ago!) that it would be the last for a couple years. Oh, what a pity party I can throw for myself!
In reality, I'm probably craving a trip somewhere to escape from the change, loneliness, constant decision-making, and stress of moving. I'm just going to have to find better ways of coping. (And that most likely should not include shopping since we're doing plenty of that already this year, sleeping-in every morning, or burying myself in books and movies to take me into an alternative reality. Though it could be argued that soon enough I will be giving up all the sleeping-in and uninterrupted book/movie time.)
I had four years longer than I'd planned to travel (and get plenty of sleep, and read or watch movies whenever I wanted). This baby is NOT unwanted, for sure! I think it's the move away from friends, my job, family, and familiarity that is unwanted. Though, even that will prove to be a blessing when the baby joins our family and my husband can be in town all the time.
It sure doesn't take too long of me being out of a routine to become introspective! Time will tell whether that's a good thing or not! (I promise not every post will become a place for me to dump all the random thoughts in my head. OK, at least not the boring, "poor me" thoughts!)
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Monday, October 03, 2011
Wine and Banana Bread
In visiting churches over the last four weeks I believe we have partaken of communion twice. The first time John was sure they served up wine, which wouldn't have been a stretch considering there was dancing going on over in a corner during the singing portion of the service.
(Dancing that I was completely oblivious to, by the way. John and his mom brought it up after the service and I didn't have a clue what they were talking about. I am either a.) totally immersed in my own little world during worship or b.) unable to have any caffeine early in the morning to provide a level of awareness that most normal people enjoy. This solidifies the fact that I should not, perhaps, be behind the wheel of a vehicle on our way to church on Sunday mornings.)
Anyway, I'm pretty sure the communion element was sugar-free grape juice, not wine, but my awareness might have been compromised (see above paragraph).
Come to think of it, the wine event might have been a completely different communion experience other than the church of the dancers. Maybe we've had communion on three separate occasions? Wow. Church-visiting is going the way of house-hunting. Was that the church with the cool praise team and the boring pastor, or the one with the choir with full orchestra, or the one with the fantastic pastor and a prophetic ministry team? I should be taking notes.
The most recent communion experience was just this last Sunday, so I do recall the "body" element of communion was something I've never experienced. I've had chunks of French bread, pieces of round communion loaves, cracker-like wafers, and those gluten-free wafers that taste like cardboard. Never have I had a tiny pre-cut square of something that tasted suspiciously like banana bread. If was such a tiny sample that it is hard to say, but it was definitely dense and sweet.
(By the way, if you're offering up banana bread to your congregation for communion, you might want to warn them beforehand. It kind of shifts the focus away from what we're supposed to be contemplating when the surprise of a breakfast bread hits our tongue.)
Never in my life did I imagine there could be so many ways for communion to be presented and taken. Just to make it clear: we will not be choosing a church based on the presentation of their communion elements. After all, it all equals a remembrance of Christ's death for forgiveness of sin.
No, we'll probably choose a church based on much more important matters. Like the cool-ness factor of the music minister, the comfort of the chairs/pews, and the number of bounce-house-type activities available at their "Fall Festival"/"Harvest Festival"/"Anti-Halloween, family friendly, free candy event".
Any other suggestions for things we should be evaluating?
Seriously, after finding a house to live in, finding a church is what will make this move feel more like our regular home. We're still working on it.
(Dancing that I was completely oblivious to, by the way. John and his mom brought it up after the service and I didn't have a clue what they were talking about. I am either a.) totally immersed in my own little world during worship or b.) unable to have any caffeine early in the morning to provide a level of awareness that most normal people enjoy. This solidifies the fact that I should not, perhaps, be behind the wheel of a vehicle on our way to church on Sunday mornings.)
Anyway, I'm pretty sure the communion element was sugar-free grape juice, not wine, but my awareness might have been compromised (see above paragraph).
Come to think of it, the wine event might have been a completely different communion experience other than the church of the dancers. Maybe we've had communion on three separate occasions? Wow. Church-visiting is going the way of house-hunting. Was that the church with the cool praise team and the boring pastor, or the one with the choir with full orchestra, or the one with the fantastic pastor and a prophetic ministry team? I should be taking notes.
The most recent communion experience was just this last Sunday, so I do recall the "body" element of communion was something I've never experienced. I've had chunks of French bread, pieces of round communion loaves, cracker-like wafers, and those gluten-free wafers that taste like cardboard. Never have I had a tiny pre-cut square of something that tasted suspiciously like banana bread. If was such a tiny sample that it is hard to say, but it was definitely dense and sweet.
(By the way, if you're offering up banana bread to your congregation for communion, you might want to warn them beforehand. It kind of shifts the focus away from what we're supposed to be contemplating when the surprise of a breakfast bread hits our tongue.)
Never in my life did I imagine there could be so many ways for communion to be presented and taken. Just to make it clear: we will not be choosing a church based on the presentation of their communion elements. After all, it all equals a remembrance of Christ's death for forgiveness of sin.
No, we'll probably choose a church based on much more important matters. Like the cool-ness factor of the music minister, the comfort of the chairs/pews, and the number of bounce-house-type activities available at their "Fall Festival"/"Harvest Festival"/"Anti-Halloween, family friendly, free candy event".
Any other suggestions for things we should be evaluating?
Seriously, after finding a house to live in, finding a church is what will make this move feel more like our regular home. We're still working on it.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Grateful
So many exciting, happy life events are happening all around us, yet it is still so hard to take time to be grateful. Why is that? I suppose with so many life changes comes a fair amount of stress and busyness.
Even though the leaves are not changing around here yet, fall is in the air. The perfect temperatures and the sun shining lower in the sky make this my favorite season. I also love the anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas, pumpkin spice lattes (decaf for me this year...and only as a special treat!), being able to curl up with a blanket on the sofa, and the return of soup to our menu.
Besides slightly cooler temperatures (and yes, by that I might mean 89 degrees which, mind you, is cool compared to 110), another great aspect of life in Oklahoma is the ability to see the sky and take full advantage of beautiful sunrises and sunsets.
We've only been here three weeks, and thankfully we've already found a house! Nothing was perfect, and my pregnancy hormones are making it pretty difficult to have any kind of stable or rational emotions toward house-hunting. I'm content with the house we've chosen, and I realize no matter what a house looks like, it will look and feel like home once we move our stuff in, start living life there, and have our family in that space. We should be moved in before Thanksgiving.
Finally, there is the pregnancy that takes up so much of our minds, prayers, and hearts. I had my first appointment yesterday with my new OB. 17 weeks and everything looks and feels "normal". We heard a strong heartbeat and will have our next sono in a couple weeks. Sometimes I can't believe that we've made it this far into the pregnancy with so few complications. It is such a gift.
After the first trimester of complete exhaustion, some serious heartburn, and a tiny bit of constant nausea, my energy has picked up a bit and nausea and heartburn have pretty much disappeared. Other than being more tired than normal in the late afternoon/evening and having horrible hip pain when I (try to) sleep, I feel perfectly fine...and grateful.
I still think about our first child. Often. I think I always will. I read somewhere that this situation is kind of like someone who has had to have one leg amputated; they are certainly grateful for the one leg they have left and for keeping their life, but there is still grief over the missing leg. With time, you get more used to it and think about it less, but the fact of the loss never disappears.
I think another thing I've discovered is that I'm more conscious about turning this child over to God to protect and care for. My control and power only go so far, and it's sure not as far as I would like to think!
I know I can't imagine how life is going to change. I just know it's going to change radically. I'm trying to be aware and grateful of these last months of this period of my life. You know, the one where I'm just a married woman with a totally flexible schedule who gets all the sleep I want! I've gotten an extra five years of that and can hopefully move into the motherhood phase with thankfulness!
Even though the leaves are not changing around here yet, fall is in the air. The perfect temperatures and the sun shining lower in the sky make this my favorite season. I also love the anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas, pumpkin spice lattes (decaf for me this year...and only as a special treat!), being able to curl up with a blanket on the sofa, and the return of soup to our menu.
Besides slightly cooler temperatures (and yes, by that I might mean 89 degrees which, mind you, is cool compared to 110), another great aspect of life in Oklahoma is the ability to see the sky and take full advantage of beautiful sunrises and sunsets.
We've only been here three weeks, and thankfully we've already found a house! Nothing was perfect, and my pregnancy hormones are making it pretty difficult to have any kind of stable or rational emotions toward house-hunting. I'm content with the house we've chosen, and I realize no matter what a house looks like, it will look and feel like home once we move our stuff in, start living life there, and have our family in that space. We should be moved in before Thanksgiving.
Finally, there is the pregnancy that takes up so much of our minds, prayers, and hearts. I had my first appointment yesterday with my new OB. 17 weeks and everything looks and feels "normal". We heard a strong heartbeat and will have our next sono in a couple weeks. Sometimes I can't believe that we've made it this far into the pregnancy with so few complications. It is such a gift.
After the first trimester of complete exhaustion, some serious heartburn, and a tiny bit of constant nausea, my energy has picked up a bit and nausea and heartburn have pretty much disappeared. Other than being more tired than normal in the late afternoon/evening and having horrible hip pain when I (try to) sleep, I feel perfectly fine...and grateful.
I still think about our first child. Often. I think I always will. I read somewhere that this situation is kind of like someone who has had to have one leg amputated; they are certainly grateful for the one leg they have left and for keeping their life, but there is still grief over the missing leg. With time, you get more used to it and think about it less, but the fact of the loss never disappears.
I think another thing I've discovered is that I'm more conscious about turning this child over to God to protect and care for. My control and power only go so far, and it's sure not as far as I would like to think!
I know I can't imagine how life is going to change. I just know it's going to change radically. I'm trying to be aware and grateful of these last months of this period of my life. You know, the one where I'm just a married woman with a totally flexible schedule who gets all the sleep I want! I've gotten an extra five years of that and can hopefully move into the motherhood phase with thankfulness!
Monday, September 05, 2011
A Bigger Picture
Where will we live? What will our child be like? How much should we really spend on a house? What kind of remodeling will we want to do? When will our house sell? Will we really like this new job? Will the weather ever get cooler?
So much time spent wondering and worrying about the future. I admit my mind is filled with questions and worries and prayers about a baby, selling our house, and finding a new place to live. There’s only so much I can do about our child – good medical care, rest, a healthy diet, and just the right amount of exercise can only go so far. Most of it is up to God. So, I find myself taking control of other things. I start planning and shopping, organizing, making lists, and preparing to do our best to get our house sold and find the perfect new home in our new city.
The more I strive to take control, the more I forget about faith. I leave God out, and then realize I’m not living with purpose. My vision is so short-sighted when I’m grasping for control.
And I forget. I lose sight of the big picture and the tiny ways my life could affect others with a conversation, a smile, a helping hand, service, and grace. All is grace. If you have a moment, take the time to read Duane’s post and remember.
There are more important things than a house and furniture.
So much time spent wondering and worrying about the future. I admit my mind is filled with questions and worries and prayers about a baby, selling our house, and finding a new place to live. There’s only so much I can do about our child – good medical care, rest, a healthy diet, and just the right amount of exercise can only go so far. Most of it is up to God. So, I find myself taking control of other things. I start planning and shopping, organizing, making lists, and preparing to do our best to get our house sold and find the perfect new home in our new city.
The more I strive to take control, the more I forget about faith. I leave God out, and then realize I’m not living with purpose. My vision is so short-sighted when I’m grasping for control.
And I forget. I lose sight of the big picture and the tiny ways my life could affect others with a conversation, a smile, a helping hand, service, and grace. All is grace. If you have a moment, take the time to read Duane’s post and remember.
There are more important things than a house and furniture.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A bundle of joy and nerves
The three of us will move to Oklahoma City next Thursday.
That’s right, Erin’s pregnant again. Today marks the last day of the first trimester (the end of the thirteenth week), so we figure it’s time to start telling folks. We’re thrilled that God has surprised us with a baby for a second time, and we’ve been doing our best to cherish every day we have with our baby. It’s been fun going to doctor visits in each of the last eight weeks and watching our baby grow. Even more exciting was hearing the heartbeat for the first time a few weeks ago and hearing the reassuring words last week that “everything looks normal.” Lots of people all over the world have been praying for years for this to happen. If you’re one of them, thank you.
As wonderful as our news is, our excitement is tempered every day by the memory of what happened to our first baby, who didn’t live longer than ten weeks in the womb. We look forward to the day when we get to meet him or her in heaven and spend lots of time getting to know each other. And we can’t wait until the first part of March, which is when they say our second baby is “due.”
We sure would appreciate your continued prayers for us. We’re asking God to keep our baby healthy and to give both of us relief from the anxiety and fear that we often have. My dad told me a few days ago that this worry never fully goes away, even after the baby’s born. Maybe there’s a point when worry will fade into “loving concern,” which at least sounds better than worry and fear.
So, we invite you to celebrate with us as we say goodbye to the riskiest three months of pregnancy, and look forward to expanding our family in a new place, with a new job, in a new house!
That’s right, Erin’s pregnant again. Today marks the last day of the first trimester (the end of the thirteenth week), so we figure it’s time to start telling folks. We’re thrilled that God has surprised us with a baby for a second time, and we’ve been doing our best to cherish every day we have with our baby. It’s been fun going to doctor visits in each of the last eight weeks and watching our baby grow. Even more exciting was hearing the heartbeat for the first time a few weeks ago and hearing the reassuring words last week that “everything looks normal.” Lots of people all over the world have been praying for years for this to happen. If you’re one of them, thank you.
As wonderful as our news is, our excitement is tempered every day by the memory of what happened to our first baby, who didn’t live longer than ten weeks in the womb. We look forward to the day when we get to meet him or her in heaven and spend lots of time getting to know each other. And we can’t wait until the first part of March, which is when they say our second baby is “due.”
We sure would appreciate your continued prayers for us. We’re asking God to keep our baby healthy and to give both of us relief from the anxiety and fear that we often have. My dad told me a few days ago that this worry never fully goes away, even after the baby’s born. Maybe there’s a point when worry will fade into “loving concern,” which at least sounds better than worry and fear.
So, we invite you to celebrate with us as we say goodbye to the riskiest three months of pregnancy, and look forward to expanding our family in a new place, with a new job, in a new house!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Big Island
Things around here are brown and crunchy. And hot. People are raking their lawns in August because the trees are shedding like it's November. Experiments like baking cookies on the dash of your car while you're at work are taking place...successfully.
So, looking at the photo I posted at the top of the blog is like a breath of fresh air: deep blue water as far as you can see and deep green mountains. I want to go there. Pololu Black Sand Beach on the Big Island. I'm having a hard time with #2 on the Prescription for Contentment - not imaging myself in any other circumstance or someplace else.
If you live in the middle or southern United States this summer, you know what I mean. Where do you wish you were?
So, looking at the photo I posted at the top of the blog is like a breath of fresh air: deep blue water as far as you can see and deep green mountains. I want to go there. Pololu Black Sand Beach on the Big Island. I'm having a hard time with #2 on the Prescription for Contentment - not imaging myself in any other circumstance or someplace else.
If you live in the middle or southern United States this summer, you know what I mean. Where do you wish you were?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Moving
It's been a little quiet here on the blog. Mostly because a lot of stuff has been going on in our private lives that I just haven't been able to share publicly yet.
That, and it's been 106 degrees on average every day for the past two months. This means my life consists of working, sleeping, reading and generally attempting to go outdoors as little as possible. It did finally rain for the first time in months last Saturday, which ushered in a day of temperatures well below 100 - it was wonderful!
And now it's back to triple digits for as far as the forecasters can predict. I admit that I dream about Thanksgiving and Christmas and even snow.
I might get snow this Christmas, because (ta-da...I can share one of the issues that's been going on in our lives recently!) we're moving to Oklahoma City. Moving is bittersweet. John is changing jobs, changing companies. Besides better pay, this job will require no travel. I can't even imagine what that will be like, but I don't think it will take long for me to get used to it!
This all came about in a matter of two weeks, although we've been waiting an additional two weeks to get a written offer letter. So, while he's accepted the job, we've known we'll be moving, and our house has been for sale, John has had to keep quiet at work about all this. No more. The letter came today.
I am always amazed and grateful at how God takes care of us. After putting a "for sale" sign up, a couple came to look at our house three days later and they love it. So, I think we pretty much have the house sold - just need to get the contract agreed upon and start on the inspection/survey/title stuff so they can close around October 1.
So, even though moving is scary and uncomfortable, and it always takes so much longer than I want to become fully adjusted to a new place, I know without a doubt that God will provide - new doctors, a church, friends, fun times, a home for us, the next job for me, opportunities to serve...and all the things I'm not even thinking about right now.
So, even though every person I've told about the move has been extremely sad, which makes me sad, I'm trying to focus on one day at time right now. Thankfully, I have a fabulous husband who is taking the brunt of planning ahead on his own shoulders so I don't have to think too far into the future. I also have the most supportive family ever - whether it's hugs when I'm sad, prayers, wise advice, or practical stuff like putting in a new back door and cleaning out closets with me - they are here whenever we need them.
Thankfully we're not moving so far away that it wouldn't be possible for us to continue seeing each other often. We've already made plans with my sister to rendezvous for the state fair (of Texas...I just can't imagine Oklahoma having a better state fair).
Mmmm. That kind of makes me hungry for a corny dog and tornado taters. And maybe a funnel cake for dessert.
That, and it's been 106 degrees on average every day for the past two months. This means my life consists of working, sleeping, reading and generally attempting to go outdoors as little as possible. It did finally rain for the first time in months last Saturday, which ushered in a day of temperatures well below 100 - it was wonderful!
And now it's back to triple digits for as far as the forecasters can predict. I admit that I dream about Thanksgiving and Christmas and even snow.
I might get snow this Christmas, because (ta-da...I can share one of the issues that's been going on in our lives recently!) we're moving to Oklahoma City. Moving is bittersweet. John is changing jobs, changing companies. Besides better pay, this job will require no travel. I can't even imagine what that will be like, but I don't think it will take long for me to get used to it!
This all came about in a matter of two weeks, although we've been waiting an additional two weeks to get a written offer letter. So, while he's accepted the job, we've known we'll be moving, and our house has been for sale, John has had to keep quiet at work about all this. No more. The letter came today.
I am always amazed and grateful at how God takes care of us. After putting a "for sale" sign up, a couple came to look at our house three days later and they love it. So, I think we pretty much have the house sold - just need to get the contract agreed upon and start on the inspection/survey/title stuff so they can close around October 1.
So, even though moving is scary and uncomfortable, and it always takes so much longer than I want to become fully adjusted to a new place, I know without a doubt that God will provide - new doctors, a church, friends, fun times, a home for us, the next job for me, opportunities to serve...and all the things I'm not even thinking about right now.
So, even though every person I've told about the move has been extremely sad, which makes me sad, I'm trying to focus on one day at time right now. Thankfully, I have a fabulous husband who is taking the brunt of planning ahead on his own shoulders so I don't have to think too far into the future. I also have the most supportive family ever - whether it's hugs when I'm sad, prayers, wise advice, or practical stuff like putting in a new back door and cleaning out closets with me - they are here whenever we need them.
Thankfully we're not moving so far away that it wouldn't be possible for us to continue seeing each other often. We've already made plans with my sister to rendezvous for the state fair (of Texas...I just can't imagine Oklahoma having a better state fair).
Mmmm. That kind of makes me hungry for a corny dog and tornado taters. And maybe a funnel cake for dessert.
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