Adventures in Life

Realizing a Burden is Missing

2012-01-09T20:59:00.001-06:00

I never intended this blog to be all about infertility or all about pregnancy, but obviously reproductive issues have kind of taken a lot of our time and brain power over the past four years.

The birth of our baby girl is getting close; I'll be at the 32 week mark in just a couple days. We spent all day Saturday in a childbirth class, and probably the most helpful for me was the time we spent after class talking to our instructor in more detail about natural childbirth. It kind of confirmed the way I'm leaning when it comes to a birth plan.

Like a lot of women, I think I'll miss being pregnant to an extent. I'll miss feeling our daughter move around, carrying her with me everywhere, and not having to worry about if she's eating or sleeping enough or if she's sick. On the other hand, this pregnancy has been so very long. I will not miss the constant attempts to cease worrying about a miscarriage or a stillbirth or a premature delivery.

Last week I realized the one thing I will probably miss most when I am no longer pregnant: the sweet relief of not even thinking about my uterine lining, ovulation, menstrual cycles or endometriosis. Anyone who has infertility issues will understand. It's not even something I was consciously aware of being free from until just recently. Now I'm aware of the way that burden has been lifted over the last seven months. It's one more thing for which I am so thankful - even if it's just a 9-month reprieve.

Embracing the Dichotomy

2012-01-05T08:39:00.002-06:00

The sleepless nights have started. I feel our daughter growing bigger by the day (for which I am so grateful!), sometimes sticking her head or a knee or an elbow into my ribs. Sometimes she bounces suddenly up and down on my bladder. At night, it's not necessarily her movements that keep me awake; it's the heaviness and the hip or back pain that makes it impossible to get comfortable. Unfortunately all my tossing and turning is waking John up at night, too.

I may need to start getting up and doing things around the house when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. During the day I feel like I get only a fraction of my to-do list accomplished because I'm exhausted. If I can get a few things done during the wakeful times at night, I could take time during the day to snooze in the recliner for little bits of time. I am aware this is only the beginning of waking periods during the night, exhaustion, and accomplishing very little from a to-do list during the day.

What would it be like if I was also running after a 13-month-old? Our first baby is never far from my heart. I'm reminded that God gives us grace to handle situations as we're in them. Maybe we have that grace always, but we don't need it or try to access it unless we're in the midst of the difficult circumstance.

Yesterday a stranger asked me (again) if this will be my first child. I never know a good way to answer that question, and every time it serves to suddenly remind me of the loss of our first baby. As I answer, "Yes," I know I'm lying, yet I don't want to get into an explanation about infertility and miscarriage. I remember a woman at the swimming pool who asked the question in a way I could answer: "Is this your first pregnancy?" That seems an easier question to answer. No. This is my second pregnancy; the first ended in miscarriage. It's so miraculous to now be this far along with a healthy baby on the way.

The woman that asked that question understood; she suffered through multiple miscarriages herself.

I am reminded of a recent conversation with a friend about the reality of life being a dichotomy of joy and suffering. The experiences go hand-in-hand, and both are necessary for growth. So, to look toward this new year expecting the unexpected, bracing for the pain that is certain to come along with the great joy of giving birth for the first time, of adding a daughter to our family, is not pessimistic. It is real, and it is the way toward growth and eventually getting to a place of more contentment and joy than I would have imagined for myself.

I just have to be careful to live in this balance by faith, not fear. I love Ann Voscamp's January 3rd blog post. In part, she says:

~~~
Sometimes you don’t know you’re taking the first step through a door — until you’re already inside.

And no matter what room you step into — every space holds the possibility of this profound joy and deep pain and the two always mingle together. There is no other place to arrive at.

There’s only one address anyone lives at and it’s always a duplex: Joy and pain always co-habit every season of life.

Accept them both and keep company with the joy while the pain does its necessary renovations.
~~~

I pray that we, and you, will learn to "keep company with the joy" this year.

2012: I'm predicting a year of changes like I've never known.

2012-01-01T21:51:00.000-06:00

When John told me at the end of October that he wanted to host a Christmas party at our house for his group at work, I was hesitant. We only just moved into the house at the beginning of November. I was planning to be gone for about a week in Seattle, and then we were planning a trip to see my parents for Thanksgiving. That only gave me a few weeks after Thanksgiving to get the house all settled and decorated for Christmas.

I'm glad we went ahead with the Christmas party. I needed that motivation to get stuff put away and Christmas decorations put up. More than anything, I think decorating the house for Christmas is what has helped really make this house feel like home.

So, this weekend of un-decorating is a little depressing. I'm always a little sad to put away the tree, garlands, poinsettias, lights, and nativities. We'd probably keep things around for another week or so if the bulk trash wasn't being picked up tomorrow; our Christmas tree either goes out to the curb now or it's going to have to wait until February to be picked up.

This third trimester is bringing with it some serious tiredness. As I take down Christmas ornaments, and box up other Christmas decor, I can't help but think of how exhausted I'll be getting all this done next year with a 10-month-old. Life is always changing. I wondered for a long time if I would ever be pregnant. Then I wondered if I would ever experience a full-term pregnancy, or ever have children in our family. It seems to be happening now. I cherish this pregnancy I never thought I'd have. I will appreciate having a child, or children, whom I thought might never actually be.

But this is the end of an era. Unlike so many changes that happen in a moment's notice, unexpectedly, I'm having nine months to prepare for this change. I'm aware with each holiday, each date with John, each day I get to take a long nap or sleep late, each errand I run by myself quickly, that these things are all about to change drastically.

2012 will be all about changes as we've never experienced them before. John will be working at his new job all year, we will continue to adjust to life in Oklahoma, and we will add another person to our family. While 2011, with its grief, uncertainty, moving, and cherishing of each day and week in the past six months, seemed a very long year, I have a feeling 2012 is going to be the beginning of time whizzing by.

I'll have to remember to keep cherishing each day and week. Before I know it, we'll be decorating for Christmas once again!

A not-so-exciting review of the last three weeks

2011-12-14T10:40:00.002-06:00

Obviously nothing terribly exciting has happened around here since the trip to Seattle. At least, nothing that has compelled me to sit down and write a blog post.

(And, no. It has not snowed here yet, but I decided a snowy picture should top the blog page since it's December and I stubbornly insist that snow and Christmas go together even though I'm not sure I have ever lived in a place where that is the reality. The new picture at the top of the blog was actually taken last year sometime in February, but I'm certain there are plenty of places in the country that are seeing snow right now.)

Our Thanksgiving with my parents was wonderful. We cooked, ate, watched some football, played games, watched movies, slept late and generally enjoyed what will be our last adult-only, completely relaxing Thanksgiving for probably the next 15 years. I appreciated the time, although I am also quite content thinking about future holidays with our child (or children).

The time since we've returned has been a blur.

After working about two hours a day, or every other day, for about a week, the guys that were putting up our Christmas lights finally completed the work just before Thanksgiving. The lights on the house are very festive, if I do say so myself.

We ventured to a nearby home improvement store with 20% coupon in hand to purchase a Christmas tree, which we (and by "we" I mean John) then strapped to the top of the Accord. I witnessed only one passerby actually laughing at our 9-foot tree atop the car, but we made it home. (John speculates that the man had probably never considered the flexibility and functionality of an Accord before. It is serving us well!)

Over the next week we slowly got lights put on the tree and the ornaments hung. I take it as a good sign that our tree still seems to be guzzling water, though it also seems to be dropping needles abundantly. I'll just pretend that's because the home improvement stores in Oklahoma apparently do not provide "tree-shaker" services upon purchase of a Christmas tree. I doubt that manually trying to shake loose needles out of the tree on our back porch with the assistance of a ladder was very productive. Really, the tree just needs to last through the week because this weekend brings a Christmas party to our house as well as a visit from a dear friend from overseas and some family members.

In the blur of the past two and a half weeks we have managed to buy (mostly) all our Christmas gifts and get them wrapped. I have one box to mail, but if anyone's been to the post office lately you'll forgive me for putting that particular errand off until the last possible minute.

This post takes the cake for the most boring post on the blog ever! I do apologize.

Before I end your misery let me just update you on the pregnancy. Today is 28 weeks. We're in the third trimester and I constantly think about how soon our daughter will be born and all life will change forever. In a good way, of course. I measured a tiny bit smaller than "normal" at my last visit a couple weeks ago, but the doctor assures me he's not worried. Otherwise, all is fine. We are so content and definitely appreciative of all the blessings God gives us. Even in the blur of activity, I've been surprised at how much I'm enjoying this Christmas season!

This post is so boring I can't even think up a good ending, but why even try to be creative at this point? I hope everyone who still reads this blog is having a joyful December!

Your first flowers

2011-11-16T17:59:00.004-06:00

Dear Baby Girl,

We left Daddy for a week to travel to Seattle, and he missed us so much. Unfortunately, Tuesday night when we came back home I had a little bit of a meltdown. I'd like to blame it on the pregnancy hormones, but I think I was also over-reacting a bit to the way the house looks after moving in, all that still needs to be done, and having company over in three days. Aack.

Your daddy surprised me by coming home for lunch Wednesday with this bouquet of roses. He said he thought you and I would like them. Pink roses for his girls.

I just want to document your first flowers from Daddy. He loves you so much, and that's just part of the reason I love him so much.

A Vacation!

2011-11-16T11:32:00.007-06:00

So, it's been a while since I've written. My parents came up to Oklahoma for two weeks to help get things done around the house before we moved our stuff in. My dad worked nonstop for the entire two weeks: painting, wood floor installation, propping up a sagging counter, installing gas valves, fixing GFCI outlets, and the list goes on and on! My mom spent a lot of time cleaning, painting, and helping me install shelf liner. Then when our stuff got here, my mom and John's mom spent the week unpacking and helping me put things away. Whew. Our house would still be a disaster if not for our family!

At one point during the move-in I took a little trip to the hospital because of some abdominal pain and pressure. I have to say, two hours in a quiet, dark hospital room with no moving issues to deal with (once I knew nothing was wrong with the baby) was a nice break! I wasn't dilated, wasn't having any regular contractions, didn't have any kind of infection, and was just a bit dehydrated. Easily fixed.

Once our family left, John and I enjoyed two days by ourselves in the new house before I headed out to Seattle to visit some friends for a week. What a glorious break!

Of course, I had to have some Beecher's mac and cheese:

We had one clear, sunny day while I was in town, and the view from the Columbia Tower was awesome!

That beautiful clear day (also happened to be the birthday of the friend I was visiting!) ended with a gorgeous sunset.

Mostly I just enjoyed being away from home, visiting with a good friend, spending time with her sweet girls, and seeing the brilliant autumn colors that a place with trees offers!

I'm not going to lie; it's been a hard adjustment coming back here to Oklahoma. Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out to live here. This house is bigger, the city is smaller, things are spread out across a flat plain. Something about it is not cozy. I realize that the adjustment to a new place takes a while. I'm sure as I meet more people and make friends it will help. And there's always the let-down of coming back after a vacation...back to real life.

However, I'm so grateful I got to take that break. Before I know it we'll be off again to visit my family and I'm sure the hustle and bustle of the holiday season will take up plenty of space in my mind and time.

The Power of Persuasion

2011-10-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

I just have to say: thanks to my talented husband, we will be closing on our house on time: a feat that apparently was not possible in the minds of all realtors involved because of the particular lender we chose to use.

I have to say that I doubted it myself when our underwriters first asked for a copy of the inspection report over a week ago and then insisted we fix certain things before closing. This despite the fact that we were asking the seller to pay us money in lieu of repairs. And despite the fact that no one should care whether our hot water heater is up to snuff or the outdoor GFCI outlets work or not, least of all our lenders. What if we're against hot water and prefer to take cold showers?

John somehow convinced our lender to waive the silly request for repairs, and we thought things were settled. Until Monday night, four days before we're supposed to close, when our realtor calls to tell us apparently the underwriters are on another scavenger hunt and are requesting a copy of the structural engineer's report. This house is only six years old. Nothing's wrong with the foundation.

Once again, John came to the rescue by informing the loan officer we will not provide more ridiculous reports, especially not four days before closing will take place, and it WILL take place. By Tuesday we had all our final paperwork to review and the guarantee that closing will happen on time.

Our realtor is duly impressed and has observed that "John is a very persuasive man."

I smiled and told John that's how we ended up married; he's very persuasive. And I wouldn't trade him for anything.

Her first state fair of Texas

2011-10-17T12:15:00.002-05:00

Thursday of last week was our "big" sonogram. You know, the one where we find out whether our child is a boy or a girl. In all honesty, this 19-week appointment was accompanied, once again, by more anxiety and fear than excitement. Most other days I'm fine. But I don't know if I'll ever have a sonogram appointment where I do not dread something being wrong.

Of course, I tell myself all the things I know I should. God is in control. This may be my only pregnancy; enjoy it! Everything is fine; just be excited about the baby.

It's hard to do after you've lost a child.

Thankfully, my sonogram last week showed a perfectly normal, healthy baby GIRL! All of her measurements were within one day of my original due date, which amazingly has not changed at all since I first became pregnant. She was wiggling around quite a bit, so we didn't get to see her profile, but all of her organs look normal, and we got a glimpse of her feet and hands. Speaking of the wiggling, I've been feeling her little movements now for a couple weeks and am grateful for each of these moments.

My four-year-old nephew has been calling his cousin "her" and "she" ever since we told him I was pregnant. My co-worker graciously gave me a trunk-load of baby items right before we moved, most of which were pink since her child is a little girl. My drycleaner in Dallas was certain I would have a girl when I told him I was pregnant. The room in our new house that we're going to use for a nursery is already painted a very pale pink. Our child's gender did not matter to us at all, but it is nice to imagine one more detail about our child now.

The "face" sonogram pictures do not show a lot of detail, but John proclaimed right away that he thinks our baby looks like me and she's beautiful. Already he's told me he knows it's important that he tells her all the time that she's beautiful. What a great dad!

The excitement of the week was followed up with a super fun weekend in Dallas getting to see my sister, brother-in-law and nephew. We had a fun-filled day at the State Fair of Texas Saturday, even though I had to forgo the Fletcher's corny dog this year. I made up by partaking of some tornado taters and a funnel cake. A large part of the fun was seeing my nephew so extremely excited about EVERYTHING at the fair: the petting zoo, the cows, the dog show, a hamburger, the rides, the music!

Saturday night was the perfect ending to an exciting day as we sat around with John's family watching the Rangers beat the Tigers 15-5 to make it to the World Series!

Sunday we enjoyed a beautiful morning at the Arboretum with all the pumpkins and fall decor before everyone headed home.

Needless to say, I'm a little exhausted. But definitely happy and so thankful for my family. Including this newest addition of our daughter!

Just some honest thoughts

2011-10-06T10:27:00.000-05:00

Before I knew for sure that we would be moving this fall, I had grand plans of taking an awesome vacation during my second trimester, assuming I made it to my second trimester. After all, I have not been on a vacation at all this year and I'm assuming that vacations will be off the list of things to do next year with an infant.

And now here I am, over a month into my second trimester, living in an apartment in a new city with very few friends around, closing on a house in a couple weeks, still waiting for the previous house to sell, and scrutinizing which appliances and home furnishings we need to/should/can afford to purchase at this time.

It is not the vacation I had imagined in my head. Part of me wishes I'd known when we took that last trip (I believe it was Hawaii over a year ago!) that it would be the last for a couple years. Oh, what a pity party I can throw for myself!

In reality, I'm probably craving a trip somewhere to escape from the change, loneliness, constant decision-making, and stress of moving. I'm just going to have to find better ways of coping. (And that most likely should not include shopping since we're doing plenty of that already this year, sleeping-in every morning, or burying myself in books and movies to take me into an alternative reality. Though it could be argued that soon enough I will be giving up all the sleeping-in and uninterrupted book/movie time.)

I had four years longer than I'd planned to travel (and get plenty of sleep, and read or watch movies whenever I wanted). This baby is NOT unwanted, for sure! I think it's the move away from friends, my job, family, and familiarity that is unwanted. Though, even that will prove to be a blessing when the baby joins our family and my husband can be in town all the time.

It sure doesn't take too long of me being out of a routine to become introspective! Time will tell whether that's a good thing or not! (I promise not every post will become a place for me to dump all the random thoughts in my head. OK, at least not the boring, "poor me" thoughts!)

Wine and Banana Bread

2011-10-03T16:30:00.002-05:00

In visiting churches over the last four weeks I believe we have partaken of communion twice. The first time John was sure they served up wine, which wouldn't have been a stretch considering there was dancing going on over in a corner during the singing portion of the service.

(Dancing that I was completely oblivious to, by the way. John and his mom brought it up after the service and I didn't have a clue what they were talking about. I am either a.) totally immersed in my own little world during worship or b.) unable to have any caffeine early in the morning to provide a level of awareness that most normal people enjoy. This solidifies the fact that I should not, perhaps, be behind the wheel of a vehicle on our way to church on Sunday mornings.)

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the communion element was sugar-free grape juice, not wine, but my awareness might have been compromised (see above paragraph).

Come to think of it, the wine event might have been a completely different communion experience other than the church of the dancers. Maybe we've had communion on three separate occasions? Wow. Church-visiting is going the way of house-hunting. Was that the church with the cool praise team and the boring pastor, or the one with the choir with full orchestra, or the one with the fantastic pastor and a prophetic ministry team? I should be taking notes.

The most recent communion experience was just this last Sunday, so I do recall the "body" element of communion was something I've never experienced. I've had chunks of French bread, pieces of round communion loaves, cracker-like wafers, and those gluten-free wafers that taste like cardboard. Never have I had a tiny pre-cut square of something that tasted suspiciously like banana bread. If was such a tiny sample that it is hard to say, but it was definitely dense and sweet.

(By the way, if you're offering up banana bread to your congregation for communion, you might want to warn them beforehand. It kind of shifts the focus away from what we're supposed to be contemplating when the surprise of a breakfast bread hits our tongue.)

Never in my life did I imagine there could be so many ways for communion to be presented and taken. Just to make it clear: we will not be choosing a church based on the presentation of their communion elements. After all, it all equals a remembrance of Christ's death for forgiveness of sin.

No, we'll probably choose a church based on much more important matters. Like the cool-ness factor of the music minister, the comfort of the chairs/pews, and the number of bounce-house-type activities available at their "Fall Festival"/"Harvest Festival"/"Anti-Halloween, family friendly, free candy event".

Any other suggestions for things we should be evaluating?

Seriously, after finding a house to live in, finding a church is what will make this move feel more like our regular home. We're still working on it.

Grateful

2011-09-30T10:55:00.002-05:00

So many exciting, happy life events are happening all around us, yet it is still so hard to take time to be grateful. Why is that? I suppose with so many life changes comes a fair amount of stress and busyness.

Even though the leaves are not changing around here yet, fall is in the air. The perfect temperatures and the sun shining lower in the sky make this my favorite season. I also love the anticipation of Thanksgiving and Christmas, pumpkin spice lattes (decaf for me this year...and only as a special treat!), being able to curl up with a blanket on the sofa, and the return of soup to our menu.

Besides slightly cooler temperatures (and yes, by that I might mean 89 degrees which, mind you, is cool compared to 110), another great aspect of life in Oklahoma is the ability to see the sky and take full advantage of beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

We've only been here three weeks, and thankfully we've already found a house! Nothing was perfect, and my pregnancy hormones are making it pretty difficult to have any kind of stable or rational emotions toward house-hunting. I'm content with the house we've chosen, and I realize no matter what a house looks like, it will look and feel like home once we move our stuff in, start living life there, and have our family in that space. We should be moved in before Thanksgiving.

Finally, there is the pregnancy that takes up so much of our minds, prayers, and hearts. I had my first appointment yesterday with my new OB. 17 weeks and everything looks and feels "normal". We heard a strong heartbeat and will have our next sono in a couple weeks. Sometimes I can't believe that we've made it this far into the pregnancy with so few complications. It is such a gift.

After the first trimester of complete exhaustion, some serious heartburn, and a tiny bit of constant nausea, my energy has picked up a bit and nausea and heartburn have pretty much disappeared. Other than being more tired than normal in the late afternoon/evening and having horrible hip pain when I (try to) sleep, I feel perfectly fine...and grateful.

I still think about our first child. Often. I think I always will. I read somewhere that this situation is kind of like someone who has had to have one leg amputated; they are certainly grateful for the one leg they have left and for keeping their life, but there is still grief over the missing leg. With time, you get more used to it and think about it less, but the fact of the loss never disappears.

I think another thing I've discovered is that I'm more conscious about turning this child over to God to protect and care for. My control and power only go so far, and it's sure not as far as I would like to think!

I know I can't imagine how life is going to change. I just know it's going to change radically. I'm trying to be aware and grateful of these last months of this period of my life. You know, the one where I'm just a married woman with a totally flexible schedule who gets all the sleep I want! I've gotten an extra five years of that and can hopefully move into the motherhood phase with thankfulness!

A Bigger Picture

2011-09-05T09:46:00.001-05:00

Where will we live? What will our child be like? How much should we really spend on a house? What kind of remodeling will we want to do? When will our house sell? Will we really like this new job? Will the weather ever get cooler?

So much time spent wondering and worrying about the future. I admit my mind is filled with questions and worries and prayers about a baby, selling our house, and finding a new place to live. There’s only so much I can do about our child – good medical care, rest, a healthy diet, and just the right amount of exercise can only go so far. Most of it is up to God. So, I find myself taking control of other things. I start planning and shopping, organizing, making lists, and preparing to do our best to get our house sold and find the perfect new home in our new city.

The more I strive to take control, the more I forget about faith. I leave God out, and then realize I’m not living with purpose. My vision is so short-sighted when I’m grasping for control.

And I forget. I lose sight of the big picture and the tiny ways my life could affect others with a conversation, a smile, a helping hand, service, and grace. All is grace. If you have a moment, take the time to read Duane’s post and remember.

There are more important things than a house and furniture.

A bundle of joy and nerves

2011-08-30T12:13:00.002-05:00

The three of us will move to Oklahoma City next Thursday.

That’s right, Erin’s pregnant again. Today marks the last day of the first trimester (the end of the thirteenth week), so we figure it’s time to start telling folks. We’re thrilled that God has surprised us with a baby for a second time, and we’ve been doing our best to cherish every day we have with our baby. It’s been fun going to doctor visits in each of the last eight weeks and watching our baby grow. Even more exciting was hearing the heartbeat for the first time a few weeks ago and hearing the reassuring words last week that “everything looks normal.” Lots of people all over the world have been praying for years for this to happen. If you’re one of them, thank you.

As wonderful as our news is, our excitement is tempered every day by the memory of what happened to our first baby, who didn’t live longer than ten weeks in the womb. We look forward to the day when we get to meet him or her in heaven and spend lots of time getting to know each other. And we can’t wait until the first part of March, which is when they say our second baby is “due.”

We sure would appreciate your continued prayers for us. We’re asking God to keep our baby healthy and to give both of us relief from the anxiety and fear that we often have. My dad told me a few days ago that this worry never fully goes away, even after the baby’s born. Maybe there’s a point when worry will fade into “loving concern,” which at least sounds better than worry and fear.

So, we invite you to celebrate with us as we say goodbye to the riskiest three months of pregnancy, and look forward to expanding our family in a new place, with a new job, in a new house!

The Big Island

2011-08-18T11:02:00.002-05:00

Things around here are brown and crunchy. And hot. People are raking their lawns in August because the trees are shedding like it's November. Experiments like baking cookies on the dash of your car while you're at work are taking place...successfully.

So, looking at the photo I posted at the top of the blog is like a breath of fresh air: deep blue water as far as you can see and deep green mountains. I want to go there. Pololu Black Sand Beach on the Big Island. I'm having a hard time with #2 on the Prescription for Contentment - not imaging myself in any other circumstance or someplace else.

If you live in the middle or southern United States this summer, you know what I mean. Where do you wish you were?

Moving

2011-08-16T18:18:00.002-05:00

It's been a little quiet here on the blog. Mostly because a lot of stuff has been going on in our private lives that I just haven't been able to share publicly yet.

That, and it's been 106 degrees on average every day for the past two months. This means my life consists of working, sleeping, reading and generally attempting to go outdoors as little as possible. It did finally rain for the first time in months last Saturday, which ushered in a day of temperatures well below 100 - it was wonderful!

And now it's back to triple digits for as far as the forecasters can predict. I admit that I dream about Thanksgiving and Christmas and even snow.

I might get snow this Christmas, because (ta-da...I can share one of the issues that's been going on in our lives recently!) we're moving to Oklahoma City. Moving is bittersweet. John is changing jobs, changing companies. Besides better pay, this job will require no travel. I can't even imagine what that will be like, but I don't think it will take long for me to get used to it!

This all came about in a matter of two weeks, although we've been waiting an additional two weeks to get a written offer letter. So, while he's accepted the job, we've known we'll be moving, and our house has been for sale, John has had to keep quiet at work about all this. No more. The letter came today.

I am always amazed and grateful at how God takes care of us. After putting a "for sale" sign up, a couple came to look at our house three days later and they love it. So, I think we pretty much have the house sold - just need to get the contract agreed upon and start on the inspection/survey/title stuff so they can close around October 1.

So, even though moving is scary and uncomfortable, and it always takes so much longer than I want to become fully adjusted to a new place, I know without a doubt that God will provide - new doctors, a church, friends, fun times, a home for us, the next job for me, opportunities to serve...and all the things I'm not even thinking about right now.

So, even though every person I've told about the move has been extremely sad, which makes me sad, I'm trying to focus on one day at time right now. Thankfully, I have a fabulous husband who is taking the brunt of planning ahead on his own shoulders so I don't have to think too far into the future. I also have the most supportive family ever - whether it's hugs when I'm sad, prayers, wise advice, or practical stuff like putting in a new back door and cleaning out closets with me - they are here whenever we need them.

Thankfully we're not moving so far away that it wouldn't be possible for us to continue seeing each other often. We've already made plans with my sister to rendezvous for the state fair (of Texas...I just can't imagine Oklahoma having a better state fair).

Mmmm. That kind of makes me hungry for a corny dog and tornado taters. And maybe a funnel cake for dessert.

Overthinking

2011-07-13T15:02:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the possibility of a change is introduced and I feel wary - like it would all be too much hard work, I'm not sure it's the best idea, and I can't really imagine myself in that particular situation. Other times, the possibility of a change is introduced and I feel completely at peace with it. I can imagine myself in the situation, I can see how it would be beneficial to me or our family in some way, and even without knowing the details I can see myself content in the situation.

So, then I wonder why. Is the harder, less appealing change really the one God wants for me? I mean, isn't that the way God works? He doesn't promise we'll be comfortable, and doing hard things is how we grow and learn, right? Or, is feeling peace about a change confirmation that it's the right path? Maybe God is blessing me with confidence to do this thing.

Then I think, "I am way overthinking this." In the big picture of the cosmos, these changes in my life are really tiny. I trust God can work and use me in whatever circumstance I find myself. And, as I alluded to yesterday with the "prescription for contentment", I'm working this summer on learning contentment. From experience, I know even in the situations or changes that seem from the start to be relatively painless, life keeps happening and trials come no matter what. So, even if I choose something that seems "easy", chances are it won't end up being as easy as I imagine. And then I'll have a chance to practice contentment.

I'm still overanalyzing things at this point, so I kind of give up and figure maybe I should just roll with the punches. And go eat some lunch.

More immediately, maybe I need to just go make some Avocado Egg Salad. I've been wracking my brain trying to think of foods I could make when the temperatures make cooking undesirable. This egg salad seems like just the thing...except for boiling the eggs...but the ends might justify the means.

Plus, I have some tomatoes from the garden that need to be used up, and while caprese salad is fabulous, you can have too much of a good thing.

Please feel free to share one of your favorite summertime meals; I'm running out of ideas!

Prescription for Contentment

2011-07-12T13:13:00.002-05:00

A grown daughter wondered how her mom, a missionary living in the African bush for 52 years with no electricity or other modern conveniences, had led a life of contentment in circumstances that would give anyone cause to complain. She found the answer in an old diary of her mother's. Her mother, Ella Spees, had written down this "prescription for contentment":

~ Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.

~ Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.

~ Never compare your lot with another's.

~ Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

~ Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that is God's, not ours.

(from Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, p. 13)

Photos and Free Chicken

2011-07-06T10:49:00.003-05:00

OK. I can't really deliver on the photos. Since I'm only updating this blog ever month or so, I figured I could stick with the gardening theme and show you the progress my watermelons have made over the past three weeks.

But our camera is broken. You see, John took a four-day trip to Hong Kong a couple weeks ago.

Yes, you read that right: a four-day trip to Hong Kong equals two days on an airplane and two days on the ground in Hong Kong. Even so, my husband who can apparently live on just hours of sleep a day, not only spent multiple hours in meetings, but attended work dinners, a club in Hong Kong where the band delivered pretty great renditions of Kenny (Rogers) and Dolly (Parton) songs, and somehow squeezed in Day One of sightseeing from the Frommer's Hong Kong travel guide. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, the camera got crammed in an already full-to-the-brim piece of checked luggage and came home with a broken lens and screen.

Fortunately, and this will surprise no one, John got his credit card (I know, right? A credit card?) to cover the cost of at least fixing the camera, though we'll probably just use the money toward buying a new one. We haven't actually received the money yet, so we are still sans camera at this point.

And that's the long story about why I can't show you pictures of the much-improved watermelons.

And if you want to the story to be even longer, which you most likely don't, but I'm going to tell you anyway, we have already received payment from the credit card company for the MP3 player John left on the airplane, an event that was completely his fault. The settlement was more than we paid for the original MP3 player and more than we bought a new one for on ebay. Again, probably not a surprise to anyone.

In reality, I could take the time to figure out how to download pictures from my sub par phone onto the computer, but I'm not going to.

Even though I can't deliver on my originally intended purpose for this post, my sister-in-law has given me some information that might make someone's day. Friday is Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. You can score some free Chick-fil-A food if you dress (fully, or even partially) like a cow. They've made it easy by providing a cow costume kit you can print out at home.

I hope you enjoy some Chick-fil-A on Friday!

The Garden

2011-06-15T09:33:00.012-05:00

I'm loving my birthday gift from John this year: my garden doubled!

So, about half of my plants have something wrong with them, but I figure in about a month they'll all be mostly dead from the heat anyway and I've already harvested so many cherry tomatoes, yellow squash, bell peppers and green beans that I can count it as a successful year!

My green beans have some disease that's causing the leaves to get spotty and eventually yellow. I think the three meals-worth of beans I harvested are about all I'm going to get this year.

(If anybody has any tips for organically controlling whatever these diseases/pests might be, please leave me a comment. I'd love to have more knowledge!)

Another addition to the garden this year has been a drip irrigation system. I don't know why I never pursued this before! We thought it up Saturday, watched a YouTube video about it, went to the big box home/garden store, thought through all the parts we needed, and purchased everything in only one trip! Sunday morning before church we got up and installed it in about an hour!

I think my pepper plants came with a virus. Even so, they've produced some good sized bell peppers.

I am pretty impressed that all the flowers in the garden came up from seeds! Never tried that before.
Anybody know what kind of flower this is? I found some seeds in a tiny ziploc bog in the garage, planted them, and this is what came up.

Look! A watermelon! It actually has doubled in size since two days ago. (And yes, that is a roly-poly in the picture. They plague me. As do the aphids that LOVE the watermelon plants.)

The tomato plants are going crazy! Once it gets hot and humid and I have to cover the plants with bird netting, I give up on pruning anything.

There are also zucchini and yellow squash plants there in the middle of the garden next to the tomatoes. I've gotten lots of yellow squash, but just a few zucchini. I think the squash plants have blossom-end rot or something.

So, there you have it! I'll keep everybody updated on the watermelon - I'm so excited about having watermelon. I only hope it tastes as good as the expensive ones from the farmers market!

It's not even summer yet.

2011-06-13T20:31:00.003-05:00

You wouldn't know from the weather we've been having lately, but the first day of summer is going to be June 21. That's still a week away. And while I don't enjoy the tremendous heat, I definitely like all the daylight! I love that it's starting to get light at 6 a.m. and darkness doesn't completely set in until 9 p.m.

I will consciously enjoy these long hours of daylight over the next week, because once June 21 is over the days will be getting shorter.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to say I'm boycotting our local ABC station for weather coverage. (OK. I'll probably still watch the news, but I'm not going to trust the weather part.) Maybe you can spot the problem. Here was the most recent forecast for tomorrow:

"High 100. Mostly sunny skies, dry, hot and humid."

And I can guarantee you which of those adjectives doesn't belong because the mosquitoes are out in full force and I start sweating if I stand outside for longer than two minutes together.

In fact, I sacrificed and stood outside this morning way longer than two minutes taking pictures of my garden to show you (and to prove to myself in about a month that the garden was a success before it finally turned brown, curled up, and died in the scorching heat). If I wasn't so tired I would go find the camera and download those pictures right now.

But you'll all just have to wait until tomorrow. I have to say, digging, planting, and watching food grow and plants become large and green is one of my more satisfying hobbies.

Day 3: Mastering the Land

2011-06-12T10:28:00.000-05:00

At the same time we were boarding the plane in Dallas, pastors and administrators from 50 churches all over Uganda were packing their bags and boarding buses bound for Mukono, the home of Uganda Christian University. Some were representing large, well established churches. Others could fit their congregations inside a small house. Their destination would be the two-day “Mastering the Land” conference organized by Pastors Discipleship Network, an organization founded by Compassion Leadership Development Program graduate and Moody Bible Institute Scholar Richmond Wandera.

While our friends at Pastors Discipleship Network coordinated all of the logistics of identifying pastors and getting them to Mukono (It remains a mystery to me how they were able to accomplish this feat), our group was responsible for the vast majority of the content, which focused on teaching Biblical principles of financial stewardship and introducing simple budgeting and accounting systems.

We started the first day with worship and prayer, and then got right down to business with a wide-ranging survey of the pastors the gauge their beliefs about money and its place in their lives and in their churches. Baylor students wrote the survey questions in an effort to tailor the content to the areas that would be of greatest benefit to the pastors. The 2009 and 2010 groups also met with pastors and were surprised to learn that many pastors do not even own a complete Bible with all 63 books intact. They also learned of a general disdain for entrepreneurial activities in some congregations because it can be viewed as inconsistent Christianity. This year, the comprehensive surveys allowed us to see a more complete picture of the pastors’ beliefs, which in many areas we found to be largely consistent with the message the Bible gives us. In other areas, we observed some challenging cultural differences which we attempted to address during the two days.

We divided the pastors into seven groups, according to the level of sophistication of churches’ accounting systems. Members of our team joined each group and facilitated discussions among the pastors. I was drafted to join the group of pastors of churches that had kept accounting records for five years or longer. We started as a group of around 20, and late arrivers came in throughout the day to bring our total to around 35.

It didn’t take long for us to get into some pretty intense discussion about all sorts of financial issues the pastors were facing. Although this group was the most financially sophisticated, most of them did not have bank accounts for either themselves or for their churches. Most of the pastors don’t receive salaries, but instead commingle church and personal funds. In some ways, commingling is inevitable because the churches aren’t set up as separate legal entities. The cost of this is an often prohibitive $150. The typical Sunday collection for many of the churches amounts to $10 or $20, which starts to explain the salary issue. There’s a downward trend in offerings that reflects the deteriorating financial state of the average Ugandan family.

The worldwide economic crisis is most definitely impacting Uganda. Foreign aid has decreased as wealthier nations are using more of their resources to address their own problems. This fact alone is somewhat of a hardship, but it is compounded by the impact on currency exchange rates. The reduction of inflows of foreign money (denominated in other currencies) means there is reduced demand for the Ugandan shilling, resulting in a lower value as compared to other currencies. This causes higher prices for imported goods and services, like gasoline and construction materials, which then results in increased domestic food prices, for example, because the cost of transportation is higher. The average Ugandan’s disposable income, to the extent that there was any to begin with, is now quite a bit lower because the cost of living has increased so dramatically over the last year or so.

Church members in need are increasingly coming to their pastors with requests for assistance, and they feel obligated to issue loans either from church or personal funds. Sometimes they get repaid, and sometimes the borrowers mysteriously disappear before paying back their loans. Some say they move on to another church to borrow more. Just about every pastor also plays the role of creditor, two roles that are very different.

“The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender's slave,” Proverbs 22:7. There are lots of verses in the Bible that say we should be generous to those who come to us asking for help. We think that it would be better for the pastors to only give money when they’re in a position to expect nothing in return (Luke 6:35). That way it wouldn’t be a severe hardship when the money doesn’t come back in. By setting aside church funds in advance for what we would call benevolence, they can plan for situations that will inevitably arise and maintain the integrity of other areas of the church budget. This is an easy principle to understand, but we learned that it’s much harder to implement when resources are so extremely tight and when the needs of some families are so great. These pastors have such a selfless desire to help their congregations that really leave no margin at all for themselves. This is a level of sacrifice that is uncommon among the people that I know, especially myself.

Our suggestion to these pastors was to form separate legal entities for their churches since most of them have not already done so. The Pastors Discipleship Network has established a program to provide legal and financial assistance to enable them to do this. Once the church funds are set aside in their own entities, finance committees should be formed to oversee the churches’ budgets and spending. These budgets need to include salaries for the pastors. If the salaries are not large enough to fully support the pastors, then they might need to supplement their incomes with other activities.

On the second day, we talked about entrepreneurial activities that pastors could engage in, as well as teach to their congregations, to help improve the standard of living of the churches. We also taught them a little about debits and credits. I’ll write more about that in the next post.

An Unexpected Day

2011-06-08T14:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't know if I've mentioned it or not, but we are having near record high temperatures here for the beginning of June. At this rate, I cannot even imagine what the weather will be like in August. Also, it will be a miraculous feat for our air conditioner (that we've kind of thought we'd have to replace every summer since we moved into this house, but it's still kicking) to continue cooling our home in this extreme heat without spontaneously combusting.

So, what with the 80% humidity and 100-degree temperatures, I've been opting to wake up extra early to do all my garden work, or even just water, while the outdoors is still bearable. It's much easier to wake up earlier in the summer since the sun starts shining a little after 6.

I kid you not, just as I am opening the back door this morning I look out the screen door and see a gigantic opossum (why is there an "o" at the beginning of that word?!?) meandering, without a care in the world, across the backyard and right under our shed. At just before 7 a.m.! In the broad daylight! It is huge!

Since I assume it was going to bed for the day, I continue on outside to do my gardening, but it just freaks me out to know a creature of that size is apparently living in or backyard under the shed! There is a waiting list for animal traps from the city, so I see a trip to the home and garden store in our near future. While calling to be on the extensive waiting list for an animal trap just in case (apparently it's a rampant problem in our city...or people are never returning the traps), I verify that if I do happen to catch the opossum I could just call and have someone else come remove it for me.

I'm not sure I look forward to the day I wake up to see a large opossum in a cage in my backyard...then again, better a cage than roaming free.

I really think the rodent issue should have been quite enough for my day and I needed to get going. But then while cleaning myself up (because, while 7 a.m. heat and humidity is bearable, it is by no means cool or refreshing), I hear the doorbell. I peek out to see a white pick-up and a few people in orange vests and decide to quickly make myself presentable.

(For a second, I actually think maybe somebody walking by saw the giant opossum in our yard, called animal control, and somehow got them to come out whereas I was completely unsuccessful in accomplishing anything other than getting my name on a waiting list.)

Good thing I decided to go out there! I find the crew all in my backyard measuring the ground, about ready to dig up our lawn to install some fiber optic cable so we can have super fast communications service from a company that rhymes with "horizon" and sends us mail every other day pleading with us to pay them more money for more services we don't need...or promising they can save us money. The crew then tells me someone else will be by later in the day to do the installation in the house.

Ummm. What? I politely tell them they must be at the wrong house, but the guy then produces a work order with our name and address on it. After a quick call to my husband to verify that this was not supposed to be happening, I again tell the crew that it must be a mistake and we do not want anything done.

I'm sure I've mentioned before that we do not have cable. We use that money to sponsor children through Compassion International and provide them with family gifts, like a house. Also, our DSL internet is plenty fast enough and our home phone is through T-mobile. We have no use for packages or bundles that will "save" us money on our phone and cable.

Turns out my husband finally got tired of all the promotional mail from the company that rhymes with "horizon" and called them just to see what kind of deal they could offer us since they keep promising they can save us money. I don't know. I guess he thought maybe they'd offer us free internet since that's pretty much what the deal would have to be to save us any money.

However, the woman couldn't compete with the low amount we already pay and John even told her exactly why we do not have cable. No confirmation was ever made that he wanted to sign up for anything. I think he used the whole "I'll have to talk to my wife" routine and the woman said she would call him back. He never heard from her, nor did he call anyone else about it.

But here is a crew to install our super fast fiber optic cable that we haven't asked for nor do we want. Thankfully, they haven't unloaded their digger from the flatbed attached to their truck, so I send them on their way and delegate to my husband the phone call to make sure no one is going to show up later in the day to try to install anything in our house.

After all that I still manage to leave the house on time, though I keep wondering, "what's next?"

I'm happy to report that so far, that's been it. No other exciting news or stories for today. Unless the sweltering heat counts, but I won't write any more about that today...I'm sure I'll be writing more about that than you ever wanted to know by the time September rolls around.

Emily's House

2011-06-03T10:44:00.002-05:00

John is back into the full swing of things at work now that the holiday weekend is over. He assures me there is more to write about the trip to Uganda, so stay tuned for more stories of his time there.

In the meantime, please consider following the group of Compassion bloggers that are in the Philippines right now. There's a handy sidebar link over there on the right.

I have followed other Compassion blogger trips before. However, Kat's post yesterday, and especially the video she posted of her trip to Emily's house, touched me in a different way. I completely agree with a comment Kat's fellow trip blogger, Emily, made. I've seen poverty. I've been in slums and one-room, dirt-floor shacks that house six people. You'd think it couldn't get any worse than that. As Emily says, "Turns out, it kind of can. If you add water."

We already sponsor two Compassion children in Uganda. I think I really want to sponsor a child in the Philippines now, too.

Maybe you could sponsor one as well.

Day 2: Back at UCU 3 1/2 years on

2011-05-31T10:44:00.003-05:00

Our first full day in Uganda as a complete team was spent on the UCU campus. I still remember the last time I was here, during my first trip in 2008. I now recognize that time as a pivotal moment when everything changed. In 2008, Erin and I were travelling with a group of 32 Compassion sponsors as we toured around the country learning about each of Compassion's programs in Uganda. Our UCU visit was toward the end of the trip, the day before we got to meet Ronnie, the child we sponsor. We were so excited about the day that was to come, that we didn't put much thought into what we were about to experience on campus. We had already been overwhelmed by the people we had met, and were inspired by the hope and generosity we saw in the the children and families participating in Compassion's programs. By this time we were just ready to meet Ronnie.

I was surprised to be greeted by more than 20 students, each with a level of motivation, enthusiasm, and sense of purpose far exceeding anything I usually see in college students in the United States. A few of them were selected to share the stories of how they emerged from lives of absolute poverty to become strong Christian leaders and ultimately selected to be part of Compassion's Leadership Development Program (LDP). I was moved by each of these stories, and even more so when I took the opportunity to speak with some of them individually afterward over tea. It didn't take long to realize that there was a real opportunity for Baylor students to connect with the UCU business students and strengthen each other as they prepare to be business leaders in their communities.

A few weeks before the trip I had been thinking about how two of Baylor’s 2012 Imperatives (XI – Emphasize global education and VI – Guide all Baylor students through academic and student life programming to understand life as a stewardship and work as a vocation) were very similar to Ernst & Young’s global priorities of emphasizing international work experiences and corporate responsibility. I had also recently learned about BU Missions and its discipline-specific approach. My international experience at Ernst & Young, the relationships I had developed with Baylor faculty, and my experience with these LDP students in Uganda all came together to form an idea for a mission trip designed specifically for accountants. Seven months later, after lots of hard work on the part of Baylor faculty and Compassion staff, a phenomenal group of 14 students, along with representatives from Compassion and Ernst & Young, left for Uganda to conduct a conference for local pastors, moderate a panel discussion on the global economic crisis, and consult with local small businesses, among many other activities.

Fast forward to 2011. I've been waiting for 3 1/2 years to return to Uganda. In 2009, I stayed home to fulfill some responsibilities at work. In 2010, I was lined up to go until Erin and I learned that our unborn child died at 11 weeks just days before I was scheduled to leave. So after years of waiting, I'm back at UCU touring the campus with a group of Baylor students and faculty who have put in hundreds of hours preparing for this moment. Kaila and Tori are ready to kick off the week by teacahing presentation skills to about 75 UCU business students. Meanwhile, Wyatt, Blake, Taylor, and Scott Orsak were putting the finishing touches on their entrepreneurship session.

I was so impressed by the quality of these presentations and by the attentiveness of the audience, even if some of the class participation was incentivized by bags of Skittles. Kaila and Tori introduced some new PowerPoint techniques, the concept of the "open face," and professional presence. Afterward we brainstormed about ways this session could be expanded in future years, and some UCU faculty expressed interest in participating in the future.

The entrepreneurship team explained the elements of a business plan and Scott Orsak gave a quick but powerful lesson on how to prepare a break-even analysis. The session included a case study where participants divided into groups to discuss ideas on how a shoe store would go to market in Uganda. They ended their presentation with a call for groups to submit business plans by the end of the week. Winning business plans would be awarded grants of start-up capital. The UCU students quickly began collaborating in their groups and within a few days, put together a number of interesting business plans for consideration.

One of the really interesting aspects of this trip is that the faculty leaders were not telling the students exactly what they needed to do or where they needed to be. Most of the agenda was student-led, with students calling all the shots, and taking full ownership over their sessions. It was fun to see the Baylor and UCU students interacting together and sharing ideas with each other. They were beginning to realize that God has given them valuable skills that they can use to encourage fellow Christians who grew up in a different education system.

While students from two universities learned from each other, I reflected on the past few years and thanked God for the unexpected opportunity to be back on the UCU campus in partnership with Baylor University and Compassion International, and the circumstances that brought about this connection. I thought about all of the hard work and sacrifices that so many people made for this experience to be possible, and I prayed that the coming days would be perspective-changing for everyone involved and above all else, bring glory to God.

Day 1: I met Ronnie's family

2011-05-30T11:59:00.002-05:00

(This and the next several blog posts will be from John. He wants to share about the trip to Uganda with the Baylor accounting department and Compassion International.)

Last fall shortly after I decided to travel to Uganda, I signed up for a credit card. This is not surprising to those who know that I inherited from my father a passion for paying as little as possible for just about everything. The particular offer I signed up for this time around seemed too good to be true, even by my standards. But the 75,000 miles they offered me was too tempting to pass up. Especially since this is exactly the miles I needed to get a free flight to Uganda. Fortunately for me, I got my 75,000 miles a few weeks after getting the card, and then immediately booked my flight before the fuel surcharges got out of hand.

The one downside to booking my flight this way was that I was not able to travel with the rest of the group because I used a different airline. The flight schedule put me in Kampala at around 7:00 am, when the rest of the group would not arrive until 11:00 pm. With the prospect of spending 16 hours alone in a hotel room not looking too appealing, I got on the phone with my friends at Compassion International and asked if I could use this time to travel to the home of Ronnie, my sponsored child. My wife, Erin, and I began sponsoring him in 2005 and had the privilege of meeting him during our first trip to Uganda in 2008. That time he came to see us at our hotel, and we didn't get to meet his family. This time I wanted to meet everyone. My friends at Compassion were eager to help me set this up, and within a few days all the plans were in place.

After landing in Kampala early Tuesday morning, I was greeted by Chris, who is one of 86 full-time in Compassion employees in Kampala. He stays busy throughout the year facilitating visits like mine. We set off from the airport and drove 4 1/2 hours to the site of Ronnie's Compassion project, which is about 16 kilometers north of Uganda's border with Tanzania and just a few kilometers south of the location where the HIV virus was first discovered in 1982. As we were driving through the nearby towns along Masaka Road, Chris talked about the devastating impact HIV/AIDS has had on this area. It would be almost impossible to find a person living in this area who has not lost at least one family member to the disease. Child-headed households are common because so many families lost both of parents before antiretroviral therapy became available. Communities in this area are now fortunate to have access to this life saving treatment.

We soon arrived at the site of Ronnie's Compassion project, which is on the property of the church that administers it. On this day, families were preparing for the start of the new school term which would begin the following week. The church was handing out blankets, backpacks, and mosquito nets to the families of each of the 250+ children registered at the project. All of this was provided by Compassion sponsors, who contribute $38 per month for the well being of each child they sponsor.

I took a tour of the facility and saw the pigs that they children learn to care for. I saw the cows that are owned by the church and cared for by widows as means to earn a living. I saw the primary school that Ronnie recently graduated from, and the secondary school where he is currently studying physics, chemistry, biology, English, Swahili, math, and other subjects. He wants to be a doctor when he grows up, and could not stop talking about it. He spoke to me in English, which he was not able to do with confidence when we visited him in 2008. Most children in Uganda don't make it past primary school because secondary school can be prohibitively expensive, and many times children are needed to help the family earn income. I'm thankful to have the opportunity to help Ronnie receive an education that has made him fluent in English and that will prepare him well for a future as a doctor, or whatever else he may decide to do with his life.

After touring the site, we got in the van and drove a few kilometers down the road to the path leading to Ronnie's house. Our van got stuck in the mud so we walked about a quarter mile to the house. This is a moment I had been looking forward to since 2008, when Erin and I asked a representative from his project what his family needed most. We learned that over half of his family's income was being used to pay rent on a small mud hut that he, his parents, 4 brothers, sister, and a cousin were living in. It didn't take us long to decide how to respond to this need. About six months after making a donation to Compassion that equates to less than the amount we would spend on cable in a year (we don't have it so I don't really know how much it costs), we received a letter from Ronnie with a picture of his family standing in front of their new brick house. In his letter to us, Ronnie quoted Psalm 138:4, "All the kings in the world will praise you Lord because they have heard your promises," and said "Dear friends, thank you so much for the gifts you sent us as a family. We were able to build a three roomed house and soon we are shifting to our new home. All of us don't have right words to express it. May God bless you for that great love."

Ronnie and I didn't get too far down that dirt path before his brothers and sister ran toward us and overwhelmed me with hugs. The boys were wearing matching taupe-colored shirts, and his sister was wearing a dress that seemed to be made from the same material. I was later reminded about one of the gifts we gave his family in 2008: a single bedsheet. His mother had used this piece of fabric to make clothes for her children. This just blew me away.

What blew me away even more was the fact that I did not recognize the house we were now standing in front of:

It did not match the picture that I received a few years ago. That's because as a result of his father's consistent employment and the additional disposable income that comes from not having to pay rent, the family has been able to save up and build an addition onto the house that we bought for them. The original three room house is behind the one shown in this picture. The addition shown here is five rooms and is almost complete. The family's life has been completely turned around as a result of the very small sacrifices we've made over the course of six years, and more importantly, as a result of the efforts of my friends at Compassion International and the church in his village that Compassion partners with. I can't think of an easier or a more effective way to share the resources God has entrusted to me than to partner with organizations like Compassion International who are saving lives and lifting families out of poverty day in and day out, all in the name of Jesus.

Every time I look over at those ugly "rabbit ears" towering over the old-fashioned square TV set in my living room, I just think of Ronnie's family and smile.

Baylor University Accounting Mission Trip 2011

2011-05-25T16:55:00.002-05:00

I can't believe this year's group of 19 Baylor students and professors (plus our friend Mel from Compassion International) are nearing the end of their mission trip in Uganda!

Hopefully as I write this they are getting some much-needed sleep! John declares the trip to be 100% successful, and viewing the photos and reading about their adventures on their blog only confirms this for me.

This group has poured knowledge, the love of Christ, and encouragement into the lives of countless Ugandan pastors, college students, business owners, and children. I know that each of the team members on this trip would tell you they have learned and gained more from the people they went to serve than they gave. (It's probably not entirely true, but having been on trips before, I understand feeling that way.)

Please take a moment to read the blog posts some of the students and professors have written during their time in Uganda: Baylor Accounting Mission Trip 2011.

There are different way you can contribute to future trips, from praying to donating Bibles or financial gifts. Or maybe you know an accounting student at Baylor. If so, they definitely need to consider this mission trip!

The Remains of the Day:

2011-05-04T18:10:00.002-05:00

I can honestly say never in my life have I seen half of a cardinal upended in my yard as if it was a sacrificial marking.

Or an artistically violent warning to other creatures.

Mice? Rats? Opossums? Are you listening?

(OK, not really on the opossums. I'm pretty sure a cat wouldn't kill an opossum. Why is that word spelled that way??? And is it really "an" in front of the word instead of "a"?)

Empty Arms

2011-05-03T20:28:00.004-05:00

In the past, infertility has tainted my view of Mother's Day. I became less than enthusiastic about attending a church service where all the mothers were congratulated, prayed for, and even given flowers while those of us unable to have children were left out.

I became more mindful of all the mothers whose child, or children, are not here on this earth with them.

This year I am not only in the category of "infertile" (maybe rather "subfertile"), but I am also in the category of the women whose children are in heaven. My sentiments about Mother's Day haven't changed so much since the blog post I wrote last Mother's Day, except that the pain of losing a child is extremely close to my heart. Just days after writing last year's post I went to my 11-week OB appointment and had to endure a sonogram of my child, unmoving, no heartbeat.

Please say a prayer this week for all of us who carry the hurt of losing children or not being able to give birth to a child. I imagine children whose mothers have died are having an equally painful time this week, though I can't say I understand that pain personally. Please remember them, too.

And to put some positive action to our good thoughts and prayers, may I suggest a way to help mothers with little or no resources prevent the deaths of their own young children? Compassion International's Child Survival Program helps moms provide proper nutrition and medical care for their babies before and after birth. Many of these children would die of preventable diseases without the help of the Child Survival Program. Please consider reaching out to these mothers this Mother's Day.

Uganda

2011-05-01T11:48:00.003-05:00

John is finally going on the Baylor Accounting Department mission trip to Uganda this year! After suggesting this discipline-specific mission trip and coordinating a partnership between Baylor's accounting department and Compassion International in 2008, he's going to actually participate in this third trip.

About 20 professors and students are signed up for this mission trip to work with Ugandan university students, pastors, small businesses, an orphanage, and Compassion projects in the span of about ten days. They'll be offering ethics, business and accounting training all through a Christian worldview. If you're interested in meeting the students who are going or want to keep up with the trip, you can follow their blog: Baylor Accounting Mission Trip 2011.

Unfortunately, if you've read the news you know that unrest has popped up in Uganda, specifically in Kampala. High food and fuel prices led some to start peaceful protests. In an effort to squelch protests, President Museveni is now using what the UN describes as "excessive force" against Ugandans. Eight people have been killed and more than 250 injured since protests began a few weeks ago.

Please pray that the violence will end and the riots be resolved peaceably. We do not want to have to cancel the trip, so we need things in Uganda to be safe again. John and I also sponsor two children in Uganda. Fortunately neither are anywhere near Kampala since they both live in rural areas, but we're also praying that they will stay safe and healthy. Of course, you can also pray for all the churches and Compassion staff and children in the midst of this crisis.

I know God works miracles, and we are definitely praying for one right now!

Breaking the Silence

2011-04-30T21:38:00.000-05:00

I looked at this blog today and almost started crying. I didn't write a single post in the entire month of March.

Is my life that boring? Or that busy with mundane things that I've given up writing? Am I incapable of writing anymore? Do I compare myself too much to other people who are traveling or having babies or cooking gourmet food all the time or writing entire books?

Or maybe I'm just highly emotional lately. Because, really? Shedding a tear over my lack of literary commitment?

My birthday and our anniversary week marked the one-year anniversary from when I found out I was miraculously pregnant last year. So, I promptly (and rather unexpectedly) spent my entire birthday crying uncontrollably.

And now we're coming up to the one-year anniversary of my miscarriage, so cue the grief again.

And on top of everything I'm not feeling well...again...although in the past couple days I've seen some improvement in the pain department. Then again, I also contracted a nasty cold a couple days ago that I swear came on in about 5 minutes.

As you can see, I have been an absolute joy to be around.

Sometimes I feel like I'm leaving wreckage behind me right and left as I say and do things that are not really me but are just brought about by all the physical and emotional pain that's plaguing me. It doesn't help that my face doesn't hide my feelings. Try as I might I cannot say any sweet words convincingly when I am really frustrated, incredulous or uncaring.

I do believe I use up every ounce of genuine care, concern and non-judgmental attitude at work. Sad, but true.

I try to remedy this entire situation in what is probably an equally unhealthy way - just don't talk to anyone unless I have to. So, if you haven't heard from me in a while it's only because I'm sparing you. And if you have been in my presence in the last month or so and are still my friend (or family...guess there's no way around that), God bless you. And thank you.

So, we didn't go anywhere or do anything too exciting in the past month. Life at work has been busy and full of crises and desperate situations. We are leading a small group at our church for us misfits whose work/travel schedules will not allow any group meetings during the weekdays, and we love it! My garden is growing. John's been in town the last several weeks, so we have been learning what it's like to eat dinner together, see friends in the evenings, sit and talk and watch TV - just normal life with the both of us.

It's at times like these in my life that I am grateful for God's grace. He never leaves me or gives up on me when I am less than pleasant to be around. As much as it hurts to see the ugliness in myself, I know that because of the gift of forgiveness and redemption, I can change and grow, and the valley I'm in will not last forever.

Excavation

2011-03-23T18:14:00.005-05:00

Confession: I can't quit eating the girl scout cookies. I should have taken them to work and forced them upon our volunteers, but, lo, they are sitting on my kitchen counter (though apparently not for very long).

It is a gorgeous day. The 50 mile-per-hour winds of yesterday are gone, as is every single cloud in the sky. It is not too cold or too hot. Even our grass is finally starting to look green. (I'll pretend that's grass and not just a ton of weeds.)

The city water utilities and electric service people are obviously also taking advantage of the beautiful weather. While out and about this morning I saw no less than five electric services vehicles in various locations. The city water utilities showed up in our very own yard this morning about 8:00.

There was an excavator! There was fence disassembly (blogger says that's not a word; I say different)! There was a five-foot-deep hole! It was excitement!

The dirt is now replaced, the fence in its original condition, and our crepe myrtle probably a little worse for the wear. (Oh, and I suppose they made whatever "fix" was necessary to our water main. Though I didn't even know there was a problem since water has been coming out of our faucets at all the appropriate times.) So, all in all, I'd say the city water people made efficient use of their time today.

And since there was already a gigantic hole being dug up in our yard, but mostly because the weather was perfect, I hauled our new mini-tiller out of the shed and went to work on the garden.*

*The actual garden enlargement, addition of 800 pounds of manure/peat/humus/soil, and 98% of all tilling was accomplished by my capable and strong husband. I tilled for 10 minutes mostly for the fun of it. Though, as it turns out, it's not really all that fun, and you sweat a lot. Who knew? The mini-tiller is so cute.

It's hard to tell in the picture, but small tomato and pepper transplants now reside in our garden. They are joined by zucchini, bush bean, watermelon, marigold, mystery flower, alyssum, and basil seeds.

I need to get some parsley and yellow squash seeds and the garden will be complete. I may need to grab another packet of watermelon seeds, too. The package instructs planting 4-6 seeds 3 inches apart in rows 5-7 feet apart. I have room for two small rows. Upon opening the seed packet, I discovered 12 watermelon seeds. 12!!! I think they need to advertise that fact on the packaging.

Because I know you're hanging on every word of this gardening post, let me tell you how delighted I am that the alyssum seeds I planted a few days ago are actually sprouting!

Now, I probably won't have any flowers until it's about time for the heat of summer to kill them all off anyway, but I will keep you updated on that.

I know you can't wait!

Something about being in the sunshine, digging in dirt and planting is good for the soul. This is the time of year when I love my garden...before it's so hot I break a sweat just dragging the hose across the patio to water and the insects are waging a war with me and my organic defenses. In heaven, there will be no insects waging war and no temperatures above 90 degrees - I can't wait!

Here's to a long spring of comfortable temperatures!

Tiny Violins

2011-03-18T18:05:00.000-05:00

Has it really been two weeks since I posted anything? I feel sad that this blog is turning into a once a month post. And I don't even have any kids or pets or a 60-hour-a-week job with tons of travel to make good excuses.

In all honesty, I've been battling physical pain for the past two months, and let me just tell you that I have new understanding of how near impossible it would be to offer counseling to someone battling chronic pain. Or why they might readily turn to pain medication. Or the way chronic pain can consume your thoughts and rob you of sleep and make life miserable.

So, I just haven't felt like writing, and besides working and making the house run I haven't been able to put thoughts together on anything other than the way I've been feeling, and I know no one wants to read about that.

(Even updating you all right now I'm imagining the world's tiniest violin playing the world's saddest song. Woe is me!)

But...BUT...I feel I'm on the path to healing even though the doctors haven't figured out what's wrong yet...and may never. Once again, God has used acupuncture to heal me. It's been two weeks of a new treatment that makes me feel normal again. Don't ever take feeling normal for granted. I had a slight setback for one day, but now it's back to normal again thanks to my doctor's prayers, lots of other people's prayers, and divinely-guided acupuncture.

I don't enjoy feeling physically tormented, but it's hard to realize this little thing bothers me so much when other people I know are dealing with brain tumors, fatal diseases, a tsunami that destroyed entire towns, and nuclear radiation that will affect generations of people.

And then I'm thankful that I can breathe, see, hear, and am not facing imminent death.

I don't know if it's the lingering doubt that I'll actually be cured and feel better all the time, or the exhaustion that lack of sleep and this ridiculous Daylight Saving Time bring, or perhaps being spoiled by a fabulous trip to Hawaii...but we should be making plans for an anniversary trip and I'm feeling less than enthusiastic.

I mean, it will have to be a short trip, and it needs to be within driving distance, and it needs to involve a Hilton hotel because that's where we can stay for free. Unfortunately, we live in Dallas and no destination within driving distance seems exotic or remotely like paradise.

Paradise. I've been there. It's called Hawaii.

So, if anybody has fun ideas just let me know!

The Greatness of Family

2011-03-04T10:37:00.004-06:00

I am so blessed to still have a grandma. One who gets around well, is still very much herself, and can fly to visit my parents, which then makes it possible for the three of them to drive to come visit us!

We had fun enjoying some beautiful weather, eating, watching movies and musicals, eating, talking, and eating! I'm looking forward to seeing the three of them again in July.

I'm also looking forward to seeing another part of my family in about a week. My sister and nephew are going to come visit us for some of D's spring break! It's been too long! Since Christmas. Now that D's in school, it's harder for them to make the trip up here, and my work schedule has been kind of a nuisance lately when it comes to having free weekends to go see them.

Thank goodness for Skype! Best invention ever!

Over on the Pioneer Woman photography blog, there's a project currently going on with photo submissions under the theme "Sisters". It makes me miss my sister! I'm so glad I get to see her again soon.

And I also feel sorry for women who don't have sisters. (I know, I know. There are some women even with sisters who don't have the bond, so maybe I feel sorry for them, too.) There's just something unique and special about the bond between sisters that I can't adequately describe.

Hopefully the weather on one or more of the days of their visit will be sunny and spring-like. It's that strange time of year here when it's cloudy and rainy one hour and sunny the next. Or in the 30s one night, but in the 70s the following day. It's confusing, and my closet is a jumbled mess of T-shirts, skirts, sweaters, boots and flip-flops because I apparently need to be prepared for every possibility on a given day.

Don't get me wrong. I think I may prefer this crazy back-and-forth as opposed to constant 105-degree humidity. It's just a little more difficult to choose (or find) the appropriate attire in my closet.

(P.S. I made my dad look in the cabinet above the microwave when he arrived last week. I'm relieved to tell you there is no sign of any type of critter actually ever being in that cabinet. On the down side, I might be going crazy since I definitely heard clear, loud noises emanating from that space in the kitchen. Thank you and good day!)

There's a critter in my cabinet.

2011-02-15T20:29:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to dread Monday mornings. It's usually the morning John leaves town, and as soon as he leaves the house problems ensue.

This week's little dilemma started when I finally rolled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen to make some breakfast. As I stood in the kitchen I heard a distinct rustling coming from the area of our stove and microwave. Was something in the wall? No, not muffled enough. Was it in the microwave? Nope, nothing there.

After banging on the cabinets above the microwave the noise stopped for a few moments. Ugghhh. Some critter was in my cabinet! It didn't exactly sound big enough to be a mouse, but it sure sounded bigger than your average cockroach.

Panic over the creature scurrying around in the cabinet combined with my distinct lack of decision-making ability first thing in the morning left me standing uncertainly in the kitchen for...oh...probably a good three minutes.

During those three minutes I contemplated how large I thought the animal/insect sounded, what it might do if I opened the cabinet, whether I should have a broom or a can of roach spray in hand when I opened the cabinet, if a frightened mouse could launch itself out of a shelf that high and land on me, would a mouse actually bite me if it did jump out and land on me, and what sorts of diseases mice carry these days - do they still carry the black plague?

I came to the decision that nothing good could come from opening the cabinet and instead decided to bang on it again, at which point the critter scurried across the cabinet and apparently disappeared from whence it came.

I noticed the time and moved on with making my breakfast, which included cooking up a bowl of blueberry oatmeal and generously sprinkling it with chili powder. No, not on purpose. I was going for the cinnamon.

In case you're wondering, the only thing remotely similar between those two spices are the bottles they come in, their dark color, and that they both start with the letter "c". And even though my oatmeal smelled...suspicious...I took a bite anyway, promptly spit it back out, and then dumped the entire thing down the sink. Turns out I'm out of cinnamon anyway.

I blame the critter in the cabinet for this whole debacle.

After work, on advice of my dad, I went and bought some mouse bait just in case. We already have roach bait strewn about, so really, either way I think I'm covered. I'll leave it John to investigate. Thankfully, I do not need anything out of that cabinet.

My dad's other piece of advice was to "just try and ignore it" after putting out the mouse bait. I appreciate that he's trying to make it all better long distance, but me ignoring a possible rodent isn't very likely to happen. I guarantee I will be entering that part of the house each morning banging together some books, singing loudly, stomping around and turning on every light on my way to the kitchen for, oh, a good three weeks.

Or maybe just until next week's dilemma shows up.

Sit with me.

2011-02-11T12:02:00.002-06:00

He says all the time, "It's because I love you."

When I'm exhausted, filled with stress, or just feeling lazy, the man I live with picks up our dry-cleaning or gets eggs at the store and he patiently tells me (because my husband can be eternally patient), "It's because I love you".

When I'm sick, my husband will use the few minutes he has free from work or phone calls or doing our taxes to go pick up my medicine at the drug store for me. When I say thank you, he tells me he does it because he loves me.

There are plenty of times when I mess up. I forget to pay a bill and am now facing a late fee, or I've done something in anger or frustration around the house and ended up breaking whatever it was I meant to repair. My partner comes behind me and fixes my mistake. Eventually I apologize. It wasn't his problem to fix. But he always tells me, "It's because I love you."

One night I work the evening shift and am driving home even later than usual. I hear strange noises, then a loud pop that could only be mistaken for a vast pot hole for several seconds until I hear the tell-tale "thwap, thwap, thwap" of a flat tire.

A blowout. I find a piece of shoulder to pull over onto. Thank God for our roadside assistance. Someone will be here to affix the spare tire in the frigid temperatures in a matter of minutes. Then I realize it's unusual for my husband to be in town that night...but he is. He got home just hours ago.

I figure I should call him, so I do. Even though a towing company is coming to change the tire and it will not be long, John says he's coming. To sit with me. Just to be there. To keep me company. He doesn't have to, but he comes just because he loves me.

This is one of the wonderful effects of marriage - having someone to sit with, to wait with, to be together with.

It is not lost on me that hearing my husband say over and over again "It's because I love you" and having someone who says that and follows it up with action even when I'm frustrated, stressed, unpleasant or being selfish, is perhaps the reason why I understand clearly the love God has for me. It doesn't make sense, but now, seeing it displayed in real life, it does make sense - in a way.

"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives." ~ Ephesians 5:25-28 (The Message)

So, these Bible words can be reality. I am married to a man who proves it. And the reality of this plan of God's, a covenant between a man and woman, sacrifice for each other, forever love, shared life...I wish those who ignore marriage in hopes of avoiding pain, or sacrifice, could know how indescribably better this covenant can be.

"It's just because I love you." Amazing how those few words can mend brokenness, smooth out anger and stress, boost confidence, and spur me to be a better person, a better wife...because I love him.

"The Snow Factory Shut Down"

2011-02-09T14:18:00.001-06:00

I believe those were the words used just a couple hours ago by a local meteorologist while giving an explanation of the obvious lack of snow after yesterday's prediction of 2-4 inches.

That clears everything up.

It also makes clear the fact that meteorology is an inexact science if ever there was one. In fact, should we even be using the word "science" in the definition of meteorology at all?

I'm staying put inside my house today anyway. The roads are icy (although I'm guessing with some moments of sunshine even that will be completely melted by late this afternoon), and it is just frigid outside.

With the confidence that I'll be headed back to work tomorrow, I'm handling this "winter storm" day with less stress and more productivity than the four-day-long episode last week.

As long as you count baking cookies and watching movies as "productive".

Less than an inch

2011-02-08T19:30:00.005-06:00

Well, the weather forecasters were all wrong last week. Turns out on Friday we got a bit more than "less than an inch" of snow.

That's our front yard and the street. We did, in fact, get five inches of snow and yet another day at home. At least on Friday the blanket of snow made it pretty.

Saturday the temperature here finally got above freezing and the sun came out. While it was still a little slick driving around the neighborhood in the morning, everything had melted by the end of the afternoon. However, before that happened John and I made a snow woman.

Snow woman because we used a red leaf for the lips that made it look distinctly female. (I know you can't really tell in the photo.) Then I added a hat with some leaves and berries stuck on top.

She melted within a couple hours.

To gain energy for the snow-woman making project, we went to Denny's for breakfast because 1.) I was desperate to leave the house, 2.) Denny's is cheap, and 3.) with the ice still on the roads, anyplace more appetizing was too far away.

We were two of about six people in the restaurant Saturday morning. The waitress came and asked what we wanted to drink. We should have known we were in trouble when John ordered a water and she replied, "We don't have any water."

Oooo-kaaaay. Orange juice, then. That was met with the response, "We don't have any orange juice", at which point we decided to just ask what they DID have to drink.

Coffee and sweet tea was the answer. (There was a bit of a language barrier and I'm almost certain they must have had sodas as well...not that we were keen on that option either.)

I'm avoiding caffeine and John drinks neither of the choices offered, so we mumbled "no thanks" and off went the waitress.

I was trying to figure out how on earth coffee is made with no water when the waitress came back and offered us apple juice or grape juice. We got one of each and the grape juice, happily for John, turned out to be grapefruit juice.

Even though I'm pretty sure it's against code to continue running a restaurant with no water, our meal improved from there when we got blueberries added to our pancakes and all our food was hot. All in all, it was an even more exciting way to venture back out into the world after four days than I expected.

Since the snow's melted I've been reacquainting myself with society and becoming accustomed to wearing clothes other than flannel pajama pants and sweatshirts.

Although, I hear tomorrow we're in for more ice and snow and even colder temperatures than last week...if that's even possible.

I noticed on the news tonight, the forecaster was detailing very specific forecast maps of where exactly and how much snow different areas of north Texas could expect tomorrow...and at what time. I believe he's trying to make up for the "less than an inch" snow prediction from last week. We'll see if it all pans out.

ADD and Chicken Enchiladas

2011-02-03T17:59:00.003-06:00

I am posting for the third day in a row! It must be some kind of a personal blogging record for me.

It can only mean I have got time. Plenty of time. Nothing but time.

Even though the dishes are still dirty, and, heaven knows, I could be doing something really productive with these forced days off - like cleaning out some closets. It's just that I have some kind of ice-storm-related ADD.

Shout-out to my sister-in-law and her roommate who stopped by with a Braum's peppermint shake for me this afternoon so I still haven't had to leave the house! (I know. Ice cream when it's 18 degrees. It was my sister-in-law's idea...I just thought it sounded good...and it was!)

You know what else was good? Seeing other actual people. In person. Life has been sad around here.
(Edited to note that it now seems there will be a fourth day of the ridiculous ice.)

Here's the huge icicle on our back porch that is loathe to go away already, taunting me that it is not yet warm enough for any of this frozen precipitation to start melting. It's also taunting me that we obviously have a large leak, right there, in our rain gutter.

In case you're one of the thousands stuck at home because of horrendous winter weather and you have lots of time on your hands and you like to cook, I have a recipe for you!

Strangely, I made these chicken enchiladas the other day, and this morning I talked to my mom and discovered she was going to make this same recipe tonight. I haven't made this particular dish in years. What can I say? Great minds think alike.

Appropriately, this recipe is from my mom. I believe it's from a cooking class she took in the '80s. I like to think I've brought it into the 21st century by adding a few little things to make it...not so beige.

Chicken Enchiladas

2 cups chopped or shredded cooked chicken
2-3 green onions, chopped
2 cups of Pepper Jack cheese, divided
1 jalapeño pepper, chopped (optional)
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1/2 cup chopped spinach
12 corn tortillas
8 ounces fat-free sour cream
1/2 stick unsalted butter
3 Tbs. flour
15 ounces chicken stock
1 large avocado, cut into pieces

Mix shredded chicken with green onions, 1 cup of cheese, cilantro and spinach (and chopped jalapeño, if you want things super spicy). Soften tortillas a few at a time for a few seconds in the microwave. Divide mixture evenly among 12 tortillas, rolling them and placing them seam-side down in a 9x13 casserole dish.

Set oven to 350°.

In a small saucepan, melt 1/2 stick of butter. Add flour, chicken stock and sour cream. Stir until sour cream is melted and sauce is slightly thickened. Pour over enchiladas. Sprinkle with remaining cheese, and more green onions or cilantro, if desired.

Bake at 350° for 15-20 minutes. Serve with avocado as garnish on top.

Makes 12 enchiladas.

So, this is what it's like to be stir crazy.

2011-02-02T21:37:00.002-06:00

I don't remember ever being stuck in the house for two days in a row before. Well, unless I was laid up in bed on some strong pain medication that induced me to sleep away the time.

Now it looks like I'm going to be stuck here another day while a sheet of ice covers every roadway, sidewalk and parking lot in the city and wind chills remain in the single digits. Ugh.

I only had one library book checked out this week and I finished that yesterday afternoon. I guess this is when an electronic book reader would come in handy.

If this post is disjointed and random, it is because that's the way my brain feels. It's the cabin fever.

I could have really done with my acupuncture today. I'm certain it would have helped.

Somehow in the last two days I have gotten all the laundry done, but not folded a single thing. I have taken the time to cook meals, but not one dirty dish is cleaned. I have taken apart the humidifier but not actually gotten around to cleaning it.

This leads me to wonder what on earth I've been doing with all this time! I do believe I have wasted copious amounts of time watching the local news. Don't ask me why. It's the same news all day - all weather related. Wind chills are hovering around zero degrees...ice, ice everywhere...jack-knifed semis...everything's closed - likely for the rest of the week...stay home...the poor people who have come here for the Super Bowl...it's colder here than it is in Pittsburgh...why can't Encore fix the power outages already?

Perhaps I'm hoping that at some point the weather guy will say it's all coming to an end and he's sure we can drive around safely tomorrow and be outside without getting hypothermia. I might as well not even watch tomorrow because I don't think I'll hear those words until Friday. Evening.

Even though I am slowly going crazy, I thank God that I have shelter...and a working heater. I also thank God that I am living here rather than in Cairo amid violent, horrible protests or in Queensland, Australia where massive flooding is now being followed by a hugely devastating tropical cyclone.

No, I live in a country where ice storms and the mysterious disappearance of O.B. tampons from stores seem to be what we worry about.

(Seriously, who pays $39 for a box of tampons?!?)

And now I definitely vow to stop listening to the ridiculous local news.

Unfortunate Events. Fortunate Timing.

2011-02-01T23:22:00.002-06:00

I think it's a fact, though I can't tell you where I read it, that we remember negative, unfortunate, traumatic events much more readily than we do the pleasant, happy, good moments.

I have to say that after a long day of work last week and fighting a mysterious uncomfortable illness with John being out of town, I almost cried when I returned home for the night only to have the garage door stop midway down...for no apparent reason. I did almost immediately recognize the problem as an unplugged cord leading from the automatic opener on the ceiling to the power source. Unfortunately, the power source was up high and I am short. Even with the handy step stool I couldn't reach to plug it back in.

I realized then that a trip out to the shed in the backyard, in my heels, guided by a flashlight would be necessary. So, off I went, rescued our ladder from under no less than three other pieces of lawn equipment (apparently we have not used the ladder in a while), and trudged with the ladder back to the garage where I was able to plug the garage door opener back in. Problem solved.

But I felt at that moment that every time John leaves town things go wrong. Terribly wrong. Why do all the bad things happen when he's not around?

Now I know, realistically, this isn't true, but it's how I remember things.

That's not the end of things gone wrong with my husband out of town over the last week. Today, however, I realized that the timing of certain incidents have been quite fortunate.

Last week (the day before the garage door opener incident, in fact), I lamented the fact that as soon as John left town, our heater stopped working. We had a conference call with our saint of a heater/AC repair guy who actually answered his phone at 9:30 p.m.! And who correctly diagnosed the problem over the phone and promised to come fix it the next morning. Thanks to a down comforter, layers of clothing, and some extra blankets I stayed toasty warm and our repairman showed up 45 minutes earlier than promised and put in a new igniter within 20 minutes.

Turns out the timing of this crisis was perfect because this week we are experiencing record low temperatures, days on end of ice-covered roads, and wind chills well below zero. And I can rest assured that my house will stay warm!

This week (of course, after John left for the airport), our freezer/fridge stopped working. Well, at least it stopped being cold enough and started running constantly without stopping. With the help of my dad and the internet, the problem has been diagnosed and I spent a good part of a day emptying out the entire contents of our fridge, taking apart the covers over the coils, and using a hairdryer to defrost the thing.

The ice build-up! It was amazing! The defrosting is just a temporary fix because something with the defrost system is broken, but hopefully things will work until a repairman can come out (or we can get a new(er) fridge...because if you know us at all you will have no doubt that we do not buy new appliances). With all the ice on the roads it might be a while!

So, speaking of ice on the roads. All these below freezing temperatures and record lows? Well, it makes it just perfect for storing all our food out on the patio or in the garage while the fridge is out of commission. Great timing, huh?

Things may go wrong...or should I say will go wrong...but the timing has been perfect. I'm going to focus on that!

A Quick Run Down of Life Around Here

2011-01-24T21:46:00.002-06:00

I feel the need to let everyone know I'm alive. That's a good thing for me to be reminded of as well.

Even though I feel as if I could sleep for a couple days, I am, indeed, alive.

I honestly sometimes don't know how my friends who work and have kids, or who just have multiple kids, even do it! It's busy season for the accountant in our household, and that means I need to be around for any and all repair people/exterminators/other service people who make appointments to come "between 10 and 4". It also means I need to make sure there's food for me to eat here and run all of our errands. Oh, and have clean clothes to wear.

(One of the awful things about cold weather is the amount of dirty clothes that pile up at an astonishing rate due to all the layers required each day. Surely I'm not the only one who notices this?)

And perhaps most sad of all: I will again have to start taking the trash out on garbage day. Anyone who has read this blog for a while should know that trash is the one household chore I hate, and thus I gratefully hand that over to John when he's in town.

Unfortunately, I've also been required to go into work more the last couple weeks.

And on top of the extra hours, my work has been especially packed with crazy this month. I am beginning to feel a bit emotionally and intellectually exhausted.

I want to go to Hawaii.

And we may really be able to do that again after my husband sells the free cell phones he ordered up yesterday based on upgrades he was eligible for. And then earns even more hotel and airline rewards with all his travel the next couple months.

Until a trip becomes reality, I shall dream of sunshine, snorkeling, soft sand, and tropical drinks in a land where I have no trash to take out and no craziness awaiting me when I wake up in the morning.

Aloha!

Next It Will Be Ads for Dentures

2011-01-19T21:05:00.003-06:00

We only got two pieces of mail today. One of them was a Mrs. Field's catalogue...which I momentarily thought of keeping because we received a gift box of Mrs. Field's brownies after our miscarriage and it was a decidedly tasty and unique gift.

But, as I don't have anyone to send a gift like this to at the moment, I quickly disposed of the catalogue in the recycling bin to suppress the urge to thumb through the whole thing, which would inevitably lead me to the chocolate stash in the pantry that I am desperately trying to avoid!

You're probably thinking that I have now sunk to new lows in blogging about my mail (or my chocolate stash in the pantry and/or lack of will power) but, wait, the other piece of mail today was what I really wanted to tell you about.

I opened it after glancing at the front to see that it was addressed to us (which it was).

This is perhaps the strangest, most out-of-place and confusing piece of mail I have ever received.

I did a double take, looked for some kind of letter of explanation, then read the address label again to make sure we didn't get a neighbor's mail.

My husband's name and our address were definitely printed on the front.

No letter of explanation, but on our table now sits a brochure about an assisted living facility. As if the illnesses of last year haven't already followed me into 2011 and made me feel like an 80-year-old, now it's like someone actually thinks I am 80. Maybe they know how often I've been to see a doctor over the last year, or how many prescriptions I've filled at the pharmacy. I can see how that alone would lead one to believe I am in need of assisted living.

Now that I think about it, I would love someone to assist me in living. If they could just come over and do all our laundry, clean our house, iron some clothes and go grocery shopping for me, I'd be a happy camper.

Heck. I they would even make my doctor's appointments for me, pick up all those prescriptions and make sure I take all my pills at the right times every day.

Oh my. Now I really do sound like I'm 80! I'll sign off here before I start regaling you with tales of all my physical ailments.

Except to say that writing this post and looking at that assisted living brochure has made me more grateful that my illnesses are not fatal and I am strong enough to do my own laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping...whether I like it or not. Thank you, Mayberry Gardens, for reminding me of that.

Quinoa Stuffed Peppers

2011-01-05T19:57:00.004-06:00

I'm toying with the idea of going back to a sort of "endometriosis diet" - no red meat, very limited or no dairy, cut out the simple carbs and sugar...maybe not the whole wheat-free thing this time since I didn't notice much of a difference for me and evidence of its connection to endo is more sketchy. I've already given up (and stuck with it!) alcohol and caffeine...except for chocolate.

I'll need to really gear myself up for not having chocolate. I should probably just start with at least cutting back some.

OK, and I had some wine over Christmas...but none since then!

(If you're interested, there's lots of different websites and books that discuss this topic. Basically, dairy and red meat can stimulate prostaglandin production which causes inflammation and pain. Red meat, sugars and caffeine have been linked to estrogen production in the body, thereby throwing off proper hormone balance...and many women with endo already have unbalanced hormones.)

Anyway, regardless of whether your diet is restricted or not, I highly recommend this recipe from Vegetarian Times: Quinoa Stuffed Peppers. I've made some adjustments to the recipe, so what I'm posting here is my version; you can find the original on the Vegetarian Times website.

The first time I made this I did not plan enough time for the whole process. This is a labor-intensive recipe. But I kind of cook as a hobby, so every once in a while I'll have enough time to do something time-consuming...and enjoy it!

I guarantee that if you go to the trouble of cooking this, you will love it!

(Edited to note that I just finished cooking this by parboiling the peppers first, thus cutting down the baking time. It was all much faster, so I put a note at the end of the recipe below.)

I'm rambling for no reason now, so let's just get on with my version of the recipe, shall we?

I'm not sure that sub-par picture really adds anything to this post. You'll just have to take my word that it's delicious.

Alright...the recipe:

Quinoa Stuffed Peppers
Serves 4

Ingredient List
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped (~1/2 cup)
1/4 cup chopped red pepper
1 rib celery, finely chopped (~1/4 cup)
1 Tbs. olive oil
1/2 Tbs. cumin
1 clove garlic, minced
couple handfuls of spinach, chopped
1 15-oz. can diced tomatoes, drained (LIQUID RESERVED) (use fire-roasted or with green chilies for more spice)
1/2 15 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained
6 Tbs. quinoa (or 1/4 cup + 2 Tbs.)
1 large carrot, grated (3/4 cup)
3/4 cup grated pepper Jack cheese, DIVIDED
2 large green bell peppers, halved lengthwise, innards removed (Use any color pepper you want. If you use red, you don't need to add in the chopped red pepper up there at the top of the ingredient list.)

Directions
1. Heat oil in saucepan over medium heat. Add onion, chopped red pepper and celery, and cook 5 minutes, or until soft. Add cumin and garlic, and sauté 1 minute. Stir in spinach and drained tomatoes. Cook 5 minutes, or until spinach is wilted and most of the liquid has evaporated.
2. Stir in black beans, quinoa, carrots, and 1 cup of water. Cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer 20 minutes, or until quinoa is tender (look at your package directions). Stir in 1/2 cup cheese.
3. Preheat oven to 350°F. Pour liquid from tomatoes in bottom of baking dish.
4. Fill each bell pepper half with heaping 3/4-cup quinoa mixture, and place in baking dish. Cover with foil, and bake 1 hour. Uncover, and sprinkle each pepper with 1 Tbs. remaining cheese. Bake 15 minutes more, or until tops of stuffed peppers are browned. Let stand 5 minutes. Transfer stuffed peppers to serving plates, and drizzle each with pan juices before serving.
OR (Quicker Version)
While cooking up the first step of the recipe, parboil the bell pepper halves in a pot of boiling water for 3-4 minutes. Remove from water, rinse under cold water and allow to drain. Then reduce covered cooking time to 25 minutes. Uncover, sprinkle each pepper with 1 Tbs. remaining cheese, and bake 5-10 minutes more, or until tops of stuffed peppers are browned. Let stand 5 minutes.

Choosing My Own Adventure

2011-01-04T14:21:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure how many, if any, of you reading this blog are on the infertility journey. I realize this is not a blog about that topic, per se. Just thought I'd throw an immensely helpful website out there in case anyone's interested. Creating a Family is a great place to start on research and obtain resources on both infertility and adoption. I especially enjoy their weekly podcasts (found under "Radio Show" on their site).

I have to give the credit for finding this site to John. He's great at researching and finding helpful stuff like Creating a Family when I'm too worn out and tired of the topic to work very hard at researching.

We make a great team!

(He does the work and I don't have to.)

(Just kidding!)

(I think.)

Another example of John doing the work while I supervise is his last-minute project last night after a long day of work. On the way home he called me and said, "Choose Your Own Adventure: a free movie from Red Box, a programmable thermostat, or other."

Turns out there wasn't really an "other" and I was too tired and busy cooking dinner to think up a third option.

I went with a programmable thermostat, which was bought and installed before we went to bed last night. (Thank you, Aunt Ruth, for our gift card, with which the thermostat was purchased in full!)

Although, after I hung up with my awesome husband I realized I was cooking dinner while subjecting myself to the seven-hour-long season's first episode of "The Bachelor" that I vowed I would never waste my time with again. I had just, in a matter of five minutes, heard about one female contestant who's obsessed with vampires and another who lost her race car-driving first love in a fatal plane crash right before discovering she was pregnant with his child.

Perhaps I should have opted for the free DVD from Red Box! So goes the inevitable ruefulness of Choose Your Own Adventure.

I'd like to think my thermostat choice is providing me with a lasting outcome unequal to an evening of movie-viewing: a warm house when I get out of bed in the morning.

Although, I may also be plagued with the permanent after-effects of last night's "The Bachelor" - mainly a cringing disgust and awe at entertainment in America in the form of "reality" television...and I probably only really saw twenty minutes of it.

No amount of cozy warmth will make me forget that nonsense!

Hello 2011

2011-01-02T15:22:00.012-06:00

I have been enjoying a refurbished kitchen for a year now after John decided two hours after getting home for his Christmas vacation in 2009 to start kitchen renovations.

Broccoli inexplicably began to appear in my garden in January after utter neglect for months.

In February it snowed. A lot. For Texas anyway.

Strangely, I have no photos to show for March, even though according to blog posts my nephew and sister visited that month. Also, according to blog posts, I spent a good deal of March in sadness and uncertainty about my future - all centered around infertility. Ironically, unbeknownst to anyone, I was also pregnant all during the month of March.

April was a big month. It was probably also the last completely happy month of the year. We took our eighth anniversary trip to San Francisco where I spent the entire week exhausted and nauseous. The last day of that trip I discovered why: I was miraculously pregnant without the aid of fertility drugs or procedures.

In May, our baby died when I miscarried. John canceled his trip to Uganda with a group of accounting students from Baylor.

In June, my wonderful, sweet nephew turned three and we got to spend a fun weekend with him (and his parents! and my parents!).

July brought a much-needed trip to Colorado with John's family. We saw a moose up close and went off-roading in the rental. It was so good to also visit some dear friends in Colorado Springs.

Hawaii in August and September was my favorite vacation ever! It was free, it was relaxing, it was so much fun!

Taking my nephew to the State Fair of Texas in October was a blast! I hope we can do it again this year!

November brought fresh grief again, as I knew the holiday season would. Our baby might have been born around Thanksgiving. I cooked up a "Pumpkin Stuffed With Everything Good." It was good!

That brings us to December. The last half of the month brought great times with my family the week before Christmas and John's family the week after Christmas. And now that all the family gatherings are over, I'm going to have to start cooking again for the first time in two weeks or more! Hope I remember how!

December also made me aware of a need to focus more on the internal, spiritual part of myself - not just by attending church on Sunday or doing Bible study homework...though those things are important. I really want to concentrate on the relationship and communication I have with God. I want to figure out how to be satisfied and content with knowing I have what I need, no matter what the circumstances. I want to live life in the present without worrying about making plans or what might happen in the future.

Those are lofty goals, I know. It would be so much easier to measure if I decided I needed to quit eating all the sugar for goodness sake! Or actually get my behind to the gym three times a week. Or write every day on this blog...which I tend to think might increase readership, but I could be wrong about that! (The sugar thing might actually be a necessary resolution since this holiday season I feel I may be on the cusp of developing diabetes from all the cookies, chocolate, pies, ice cream and, did I say chocolate?)

I began 2010 hoping for fresh starts and new delights. I can't say last year was especially, or even remotely, delightful. I hope 2011 brings more healing to my spirit if not my physical body, and more joy that has nothing to do with circumstances.

"And God will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is his treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)

Goodbye 2010!

2010-12-30T16:47:00.002-06:00

Aaack! Where did the time go? I have been so busy either working or spending time with family the last couple weeks, I have not even had two minutes together to think, write, or enjoy some quiet.

This confirms that in general, I do a good job of balancing my life the rest of the year. I'm not sure how I would survive if all my days were as crowded and full as I've recently experienced. Thankfully, John has been on vacation while I've been working, so at least groceries have been bought and laundry cleaned and dried.

I am well aware that much of my victory over busyness happens because we don't have children...spending a week with my nephew reminded me of this. And, don't get me wrong, I love seeing family, and the time I spend with those I rarely get to see is precious.

It just also happens to move unimportant matters such as blogging...or obtaining food or making sure there are clean clothes...to the bottom of my to-do list.

We spent the last half of last week with my family. It is so fun to all be together in one house! As soon as we arrived, my nephew switched from following my mom around like a duckling to becoming attached to me like a fifth appendage. After four days it got so bad that lunch and snacks couldn't be eaten unless he was sitting in my lap. Our gifts to my parents and my sister, brother-in-law and nephew included web-cams. Yea! We can now all see each other a bit more often!

This week we're back home, so it's all about John's side of the family. Every event either includes or is centered around eating, so I don't think I'll be hungry again until February. I've also had a cold this week, so unfortunately I feel that my time with family is all a blur...a hazy, cold-medicine-induced blur. There have been more Christmas gifts, Kinect, monopoly, a painful Texas Bowl in which Baylor lost, and all manner of food. And it's not over yet, so I may be absent here at the blog for a few more days.

Speaking of colds, one of the reasons I will be happy to bid 2010 farewell is that I'm pretty sure my body has been either filled with antibiotics or anesthesia for a good half of the year...and I've probably been on over-the-counter drugs longer than that. I have never been sick so much in one year...EVER. I'm hopeful that 2011 will bring vast improvements for my health. (At the same time, I'm grateful that my illnesses have not been life-threatening...I know so many people who have been diagnosed with cancer this year.)

I'm also hopeful that I'll have a chance to sit down this weekend and give everyone a very brief recap of 2010, and maybe I'll have some resolutions for 2011...maybe. In case I don't get to a blog post before Saturday...Happy New Year!

'ad-vent

2010-12-18T20:12:00.005-06:00

n. - a coming or arrival, especially of something extremely important or awaited

Remember as a kid how the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas seemed months long? The time between writing that letter to Santa and waking up to gifts under the tree on Christmas morning was nearly incalculable?

When did time stop lagging? When did it get to be December 18 and I'm still thinking, "Wasn't Thanksgiving just last week?"

With the way time flies, it doesn't seem that I have to wait that long for Christmas these days. I hate to admit it, but it's more digging in my heels and wishing for time to prolong itself than it is waiting. But that doesn't diminish the extreme importance of Christmas.

No, I'm not talking about Santa. Or even gifts, although giving gifts and seeing smiles on the recipients faces is happiness! It's the importance of our Savior coming to earth; without that He wouldn't be our Savior, the God who died (and defeated death) for us.

I know this is super late in the game, but I just discovered this beautiful, FREE, advent devotional, The Jesus Advent Celebration: The Jesse Tree Journey. It's written by Ann Voskamp, and even if you only get to read a couple days this year, you can print it out (or save it) and have it for next year!

(By now we all know that link is "late in the game" because time? It FLIES!)

Also, you may have already seen this on youtube, but The Social Network Christmas made me cry. That is probably due to my being highly hormonal since I've also cried watching a jewelry commercial and because the sun came up this morning, but I feel I can still recommend this as a good video worth four minutes of your time.

We have a week packed full of family, and I may or may not take a blog break for a bit. Soooo....

Happy Advent and Merry Christmas!

In Miracles and Misery

2010-12-15T22:08:00.001-06:00

Sometimes something wonderful can happen - a clean bill of health after months of chemotherapy, or a miraculous pregnancy in a womb that seemed broken down and locked up - only to be shortly followed by misery - the cancer is back, or your baby has died.

Sometimes the miraculous brings a false sense of intimacy with God. After all, how easy it is to offer up praise, smiles, laughter, and song when the impossible is blown away like dust by the breath of God. But thankfulness for my comfort or health and acknowledgement of God's favor and miraculous work is not the same as love or trust or dependence.

Sometimes misery also yields a false sense of closeness to God. In fresh pain, we, who say we believe in Christ and the power of God, cry out to Him. We pour our heart out, we pray diligently for healing, help, comfort, and mercy. But asking and wanting and continuing to trust that God has a perfect plan is not the same as building a deeper relationship with the One who creates and saves us.

Some day, after weeks or months or years of the crying out and praying, the urgency of the prayer starts to fade. The fresh pain becomes a dull ache, an empty spot, a gnawing bitterness or a heavy grief that becomes just another part of who you are and what this life means. When God seems not to answer, or the grievous emotions subside but never completely disappear, it is so easy to stop petitioning Him...or to just stop listening to Him. Maybe He's not saying anything anyway.

I have convinced myself that saying my prayers and speaking out that God has the perfect plan is drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. In reality, I have not made time to listen to Him, read His word, or really spend much time with Him. It becomes easier and easier to make excuses not to attend a worship service.

The Lord says, "These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made traditions learned by rote." (Isaiah 29:13)

God reminds me that my acknowledgement of and trust in Him is but the tip of the iceberg. He also desires me to love Him and spend time with Him, not to gain miracles or healing, but simply to enjoy Him...to be made whole in a spiritual sense more than a physical sense.

"Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the Lord, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say, 'Who sees us? Who knows us?' You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made would say to its maker, 'He did not make me'; or what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'?" (Isaiah 29:15-16)

The wounds of loss, illness, discomfort and misery can build a wall. Even when we know God can see over and through the wall, we turn our backs to the wall like small children squinting shut our eyes tightly, convinced that because we can't see Him, He can't see us.

I have deeply hidden plans and have made decisions in the dark of late...simply by excluding the Lord, not really listening to Him, not attempting to forge a relationship with Him. Religion is not the same as relationship, and Isaiah has brought it to my attention that I have fooled myself into thinking my relationship with God has been growing.

The good news is that from this point forward, the miracles and miseries of the last year really can still be used to bring me closer to God. I can see now that they made me religious, keeping the focus on me, my grief, my problems, my cries to God, what God will do for me. And we all have the opportunity to learn from those mistakes, those revelations of our mistakes, and to approach things differently.

And God is there the entire time. Waiting for me to have these revelations and turn back to listening to Him and talking to Him from my heart.

"And God will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is his treasure." (Isaiah 33:6)

Saving from all the empty spots and the walls I can put up. Wealth without regard to material possession or money. Stability in the miracles and the misery.

The Holidays in Pictures

2010-12-11T15:29:00.008-06:00

Everyone is focused on Christmas now. But it seems like Thanksgiving was just the other day. Plus, in the process of taking a picture of my Christmas tree to prove that we did indeed get it decorated, I discovered some definitely fall/Thanksgiving photos I took before everything became a Santa, nativity, gift-wrapping, card-mailing, Christmas carol extravaganza.

And I could get on my soapbox about how many untrue "meanings of Christmas" I have heard over just the last week and how all the financial and time stress is ridiculous and unnecessary in celebrating the birth of the Messiah...but I won't.

Let's take a journey back in time...to last month...though it seems only days ago:

The trees in our yard and on the street had the amazing autumn colors for a couple days, and I just had to take a picture.

Our smoked turkey:

It always looks that dark, but we probably left it in a bit too long. My fault. I was sure a 20-pound bird would take at least the general 30 minutes-per-pound to cook. So, we didn't check it until that point. Turns out it was probably done a bit earlier. Still good, just a little dry.

And suddenly it's Christmas. After posting that our tree was still naked, the following evening I put up a garland to make myself feel better.

Festive, yet requires much less time than decorating a Christmas tree.

Finally, a week after putting up the tree, we spent an evening attaching all the ornaments.

Ta-da!

Sorry about the lighting. It's sitting in front of a big window and I just didn't take time to figure out a way to make the lighting better.

Other than the garland I hung up out of guilt, all the other decorations got put out last weekend with the ornaments on the tree, including my favorite nativity - a gift from my mom and dad.

I can hardly believe it, but John is on his way to go put our Christmas cards in the mailbox at the post office. I hope to just chill and enjoy the rest of the month without any decorating, card-sending, or gift-buying left. And, yes, I know it's really only two weeks 'til Christmas, but better than just finishing it all up two days before. I've had lots of experience with that!

The Excitement for Today

2010-12-08T22:47:00.002-06:00

Somehow I locked myself out of the house while taking out the trash tonight. I don't understand it, but it was cold outside and I had nothing with me...no wallet, no cell phone. Fortunately I did have shoes on. (As opposed to my husband who once locked himself out of our apartment in Amsterdam while barefoot and documented it in a blog post.)

Fortunately, we gave one of our neighbors a key to our house.

Unfortunately, they couldn't really find it tonight in my time of need.

But then, our neighbor and his son decided to give breaking in a try. Using a sturdy piece of paper didn't work, but his son had a credit card on him and that did the trick! Yeah! I am so grateful for good neighbors! I've never been happier to have someone be able to break into our house.

Although, I'm now quite certain that a doorknob lock is pretty pointless. With a credit card, it took all of two seconds to get the door open.

What with all the being locked out of the house, I've decided that sweeping and mopping the floor is out of the question for tonight. Plus, I was all set to watch Modern Family while cleaning and now I've missed it. Clearly no cleaning can possibly get done now.

I guess now I'll just have to find something else to watch while folding the mountain of laundry on our sofa; a Christmas movie perhaps.

Perfect Timing

2010-12-03T10:50:00.001-06:00

I have not felt like writing, or doing much of anything the last couple days.

Our first child's due date would have been December 1, and it is amazing to me that Jon Acuff wrote a blog post on Stuff Christians Like on that very day, called "The Soft X", that made me cry...and remember...and feel that God is tender and cares.

About the only thing I have been doing with gusto lately is eating sugar and carbohydrates. It's Cookie Week over at "The Pioneer Woman Cooks", and the "Framed Cooks" blog is all about the holiday goodies this week as well. It's not helping my desire to bake and eat. I am using as much discipline as possible (since yesterday) to wean myself off the sugar and carbs. I know for sure it can't be helping my emotional state right now.

I'm determined to give away most of what I bake this month. So, if you live nearby or see me on a regular basis, you might be in for some gifted baked goods. The alternative is I stay busy with other things, don't have the time to bake, and thus do not have the problem of sweets lying about the kitchen.

That staying busy thing just might work this month!

The tree is still naked.

2010-11-30T16:48:00.002-06:00

Well, the Christmas tree still isn't decorated. It's naked. Well, except for lights because that is John's job and he is always the go-getter. Me? Not so much.

Today would be the perfect day to get the decorating done since it's nice and cold and windy out...very wintery. A great time to make some hot cocoa and go through all the holiday decorations and ornaments.

My procrastination is getting the better of me, though. We don't really have anyone coming over to our house until this weekend, so that gives me several more days to do the decorating. I'll probably end up watching Glee and Rick Steves' European Christmas (or some other Christmas movie...why limit myself?) while folding laundry and possibly baking some more ginger snaps because I may or may not have eaten every last one of them in the past three days.

(I didn't actually eat the entire batch since I gave away about half of them. Yeah, eating half a batch is soooooo much better.)

I hear it may freeze again tonight so I'll have to go out and cover up the garden at some point. Yes, I am covering my entire garden. I am still waiting for about four or five butternut squash to fully ripen and I would hate for the patience I have had the last three or four months to be for naught if all the vegetables shrivel up and die because of a two-day cold snap.

And by "all" the vegetables, I really just mean the four or five butternut squash and some beets. That reminds me that I should probably figure out when beets are ready to harvest. I guess I could pull one up, take a look, and then poke it back down if it's not ready. I'm sure that's the agriculturally-certified way to go about things.

Just let me know if you'd like to come over and help decorate our tree and house and whatnot. It could be arranged.

I'm still full.

2010-11-29T11:00:00.002-06:00

Happy Monday after Thanksgiving!

I know, it's not that exciting for me either. I had a great extra-long weekend...although, where did the time go? I seriously don't think I've ever had four days go by so quickly. Perhaps all the eating ran together and made the days seem shorter.

There was Thanksgiving lunch, Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner, more Thanksgiving leftovers the next day, gumbo made with, you guessed it!, leftover Thanksgiving turkey, and then for some unknown reason our church decided to have an after-Thanksgiving potluck lunch after our service yesterday. Because no one had enough to eat in the prior three days.

I'm full.

In the midst of all the eating we managed to get some Christmas card envelopes addressed, clean up the house, go hunt down a Christmas tree and put lights on it, and take plenty of naps.

Oh, and get some cracks in our walls repaired which then required my husband to do paint touch-ups in four different rooms with four different paint colors. What would vacation days at home be for John without some home renovation to keep him busy?

Our house now has the distinctly unique smell of fresh paint and Christmas tree. If only I could bottle that scent: get the homey, festive pine smell and a high from paint fumes all at the same time.

Oh, I kid. Kind of. The paint fumes are really only prominent in our hallway where there is apparently no ventilation.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-24T15:28:00.002-06:00

Sometimes being thankful doesn't come easy.

Whether it's a lot of small, unpleasant details in life that you're focusing on or a generally devastating life situation or experience that's occupying your mind, sometimes gratitude seems unnatural.

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." -Colossians 3:15

Maybe that's why God has to remind us quite a lot in the Bible to be thankful, to be grateful, and to be content.

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." -Paul, in Philippians 4:11

Contentment, and I would add thankfulness, are things we have to learn according to Paul, so obviously they don't always come naturally.

The Wall Street Journal reported just yesterday on research that has shown grateful people are happier and healthier, so apparently God knows what's good for us! The article says adults who are thankful "have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not." In addition, "they're also less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections."

Our baby would have been due next Wednesday. It's kind of a crappy time of year to be reminded of our loss. I know we're in good company, though. It seems the holidays are chock-full of grief for so many people. It just takes intentional effort to be thankful anyway...despite the emotions.

I'm thankful for:
1. my husband. I couldn't have a better one.
2. doctors...at least, most of the time.
3. my job and the fantastic coworkers I have.
4. friendships that continue through time and distance.
5. a close relationship with my sister.
6. my sweet nephew and his miraculous life.
7. not having a fatal illness.
8. having enough: enough food, enough clothes, enough roof over my head, enough medical care.
9. reliable transportation and being able to afford gas for my car.
10. hot showers and clean water.
11. books and the library.
12. pumpkin spice lattes.
13. being able to have hope because I have a Savior.
14. our house not burning down.
15. music.
16. good hair.
17. getting to travel to so many cool places.
18. the kids we sponsor through Compassion International and their prayers for us.
19. a good-sized kitchen to cook in.
20. the use of my five senses.

If I could think of twenty, I'm sure you could think of five or ten. It's OK if it takes a while, but I encourage everybody to try it. Make a list. If you want, put it in a comment and we can all be thankful together.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We didn't (intentionally) start the fire.

2010-11-20T21:34:00.001-06:00

Tonight I got to yell, "FIRE!!!"

Except, the yell wasn't quite as loud as it would have been owing to the fact that I have a cold and have kind of lost my voice.

My appetite hasn't been what it usually is, but John was hungry tonight for dinner and I thought breakfast for dinner sounded pretty good. We had some leftover blueberry pancakes and all the ingredients for migas.

But it wasn't the migas or the pancakes that started the fire. No, the migas were about done.

What started it all? I was boiling some water in a tea kettle for a cup of tea.

That's when the smoke starting rising from the range under the tea kettle. A lot of it. It was thick.

I quickly removed the tea kettle to the front burner, and shooting up from the pan under the burner were nothing less than flames. Flames that quickly grew to about two feet high and came within inches of the microwave above the range.

Our kitchen fire extinguisher that has been gathering dust for eight and a half years finally came in handy. I grabbed it, yelled "FIRE!!!", pulled the pin out, and John was there instantaneously to extinguish the fire with one short burst from the extinguisher.

(I am a little embarrassed to admit I panicked a bit and after pulling out the pin stared at the extinguisher a second looking for a trigger, when really you PUSH DOWN on the top of the handle. When you're faced with a fire the last thing you're going to do is read instructions or look at pictures on the fire extinguisher. Although, I might be the only person dumb enough to not know how to use the thing. But, really, I have never in my life had to put out a fire. I thankfully handed the extinguisher over to John the second he sped into the kitchen.)

Disaster averted. Only to be met by the next disaster. Dinner was sitting, all cooked and ready to eat, on the stove. With fire extinguisher dust all over it. The cheese I had sitting out to grate over the migas was ruined as well.

Thankfully, the pancakes were safe.

Soooo, we dumped dinner in the trash, cleaned up the residue from...everything...and I started over with the migas. Am I a glutton for punishment or what?

John kindly ran to the store to buy more cheese...and a new fire extinguisher for the kitchen.

I think he was afraid to leave me unprotected from further fire for any length of time.

According to the back of a kitchen fire extinguisher box at the store, a household kitchen fire occurs every 83 seconds in our country.

So, really it's a miracle that this is the first we've had in eight and a half years of marriage.

It's also a miracle that our microwave light, which has been out for the past few years - only blinking on once in a blue moon, is now working! It's the happy ending to our tale of flames and woe.

For the Sake of Cooking

2010-11-18T08:30:00.001-06:00

I promised myself "No more with the cooking and recipes on the blog!" But I can't help it!

You know you love to cook when you see a recipe and think it would be fun and satisfying to make it...even though you're pretty sure you'd never actually want to eat it.

Pioneer Woman posted a recipe like this just this week: Pumpkin Cream Pie. I don't care for pumpkin pie, and I also don't care for cream pies. In fact, I don't care so much for pies in general (unless it's peanut butter pie - thank you, John's grandmother, for making peanut butter pie for family functions). Or my mom's apple pie. I am already dreaming of her apple pie at Christmas!

There's something about food processing graham crackers, whipping up a cream substance, and folding together whipped cream and pudding that sounds delightful.

But the thought of eating that makes me feel a little sick. I would pass.

I'm sure someone would eat the pie, but in all honestly, I'm not going to do it. My part of Thanksgiving dinner is smoking a turkey. And with everyone else bringing sides and desserts and rolls, there is no need for me to bring anything else. I kind of think it would go to waste with all the other delicious food.

But just thinking a recipe looks fun to make reinforces the fact that maybe I like to cook for the sake of cooking, not always for the eating part.

Not Snappy

2010-11-16T21:26:00.003-06:00

I don't mean to be melodramatic, but this year has been the year of illness, death, pain, and suffering. I barely staved off a sinus infection two weeks ago, only to go visit my sister and contract a sore throat.

Then the sore throat began spreading to my ears, which are now hurting just a tad.

For the record, I knew my sister was ill before we left to drive down to visit for the weekend. With the way this year has gone, I'm not sure why I thought I could fight off any illness and remain strong and healthy, but I did. Plus, I really don't like going more than a month without seeing my nephew and this was the only weekend in a good long while when I wasn't scheduled to work.

I cannot adequately express how tired I am of going to doctors, getting prescribed medicine, dealing with traumatic side-effects and wondering if the medication I was given was correct, necessary, or helpful.

I promised I would share one of the goodie recipes that I can't do without at Christmas. This blog is not a food blog, or a dining blog, or a recipe blog...at least it wasn't. Lately it seems like food is taking up a great deal of space on here. What can I say?

It's the holidays.

I think about food a lot.

I like to cook.

And today I lack the energy to write about anything more original or entertaining.

My mom makes the best Ginger Snaps. I know by definition, the cookies should be crunchy, but I like them moist and chewy. I am not alone in my preference. In college my mom would send a box of goodies to our apartment after Thanksgiving, and the Ginger Snaps were the first to be finished.

The beauty of the recipe is that you can get "snappy" cookies if you wish simply by cooking them longer.

But, please, pretty please...do yourself a favor and at least try one batch the chewy way. I am wishing right now that my mom had sent me a box of Ginger Snaps...yesterday...so I could have them today. You know, without going to any effort on my own part.

Because, did I mention I'm a bit under the weather?

OK. I think I did.

I also like my Ginger Snaps really gingery. (I am now making up words.) To make up for the lack of snappiness, perhaps. So I tweak the original recipe just a bit and add about twice as much ginger as it calls for. The recipe below is in its untainted, original form.

Even though this recipe has no chocolate, it is without a doubt the one holiday goodie I must have.

Ginger Snaps

Cream till fluffy:
¾ c. margarine
¼ c. molasses
1 c. brown sugar
1 egg

Mix well and stir into creamed mixture:
2 ¼ c. flour
2 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
1 tsp. ginger
1 tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. cloves

If you stir the flour mixture in it may be stiff enough to make the cookies immediately. (Cover dough and chill well if it’s too sticky to work with.) Roll into small balls about ¾”-1” in diameter and roll them in white sugar. Place 2” apart on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350° 7-8 minutes. They’ll be cracked on top. (Bake longer for crispy cookies.)
Makes about 5 dozen soft cookies.

Pumpkin Seeds

2010-11-15T18:27:00.001-06:00

How would a website called "pumpkin patches and more" know which flavors of roasted pumpkin seeds are "the most popular, in order"? Did they poll their family members? It sounds suspiciously like a science fair project one of their kids did in second grade.

In case you're wondering, their results are: 1. savory, 2. lemony, 3. halloweeny (yes, you read that right, and this further legitimizes my theory about the science fair project...it is a blend of cinnamon, ginger, salt, and allspice), 4. spicy, and 5. natural.

By the way, "pumpkin patches and more" is a page of a website I've written about in the past, pickyourown.org, and I love their website. Besides finding places to pick organic blueberries in the summer, I've also found instructions on freezing and otherwise preserving various vegetables from my garden. To tell the truth, that's mostly been okra since that is the one crop I've successfully grown to excess.

(Note to self, four okra plants is at least two plants too many!)

Roasted pumpkin seeds are fairly easy to make (scooping out the pumpkin guts is by far the hardest part), they are full of anti-oxidants, protein, and fiber, and I like the crunchiness. It's gotta be better than snacking on chocolate and peanut-butter chips from half-empty bags in the pantry.

Curse the holiday baking season! I can't escape the chocolate chips, extra cookie dough, and pumpkin bread that will inevitably be in the kitchen for the next two months!

That's a lie. I could just not buy the stuff and refuse to bake, but how much fun would that be?

I'm curious. What's the one holiday baked good that you can't live without?

I'll share one of mine tomorrow.

A Belated Celebration

2010-11-11T21:49:00.000-06:00

I forgot to make an announcement on Sunday: LET'S CELEBRATE! DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME HAS ENDED! HOORAY FOR SUNLIGHT IN THE MORNING!

Another happy result of the time change is that we are back to eating dinner at the more appropriate time of between 6:30 and 7 rather than closer to 7:30 or 8.

Yes, I know I had about six months to get used to Daylight Saving Time and move dinner back an hour once the time sprang forward, but it never happened. I'm hoping I can keep up with the earlier dinner hour, mostly because I know it's really healthier to finish eating a few hours before going to bed.

Something needs to be healthy about our eating during this season of sugar, butter, and way more meat than we usually eat.

I've noticed a strange phenomenon this week, though. Despite the fact that starting on Sunday my body should have really thought it was an hour earlier at night than it actually was, I have been going to bed later than normal. Why is that? Is anyone else having this problem?

So, although 11 p.m. wouldn't really be too late normally, with the time change it's like midnight. I usually can't stay up that late. What is going on? This is not a good habit to start, so I will now force myself to finish this post and get ready for bed...tired or not...here I go.

The Results

2010-11-10T19:38:00.004-06:00

Here's how my "Pumpkin Stuffed with Everything Good" turned out:

This is just the perfect dish for October and November! It's beautiful!

It is also quite tasty. I think if you add bacon and cheese to anything it has to automatically be at least pretty good.

The rice I used for this recipe was kind of dry, so I think I should have compensated with a little more liquid...maybe not all cream, maybe a little chicken broth. If I cook another savory pumpkin, I would probably use bread to see how that goes. I think bread would soak up the liquid more than cooked rice.

The pumpkin I used was two pounds. It would easily serve three, but probably not four. Also, you could definitely eat this stuff with a green salad and have a good meal right there.

A French Pumpkin

2010-11-09T18:14:00.002-06:00

John told me about an interview he heard on NPR with Dorie Greenspan, the author of a cookbook called "Around My French Table". On the radio show the author served one of her dishes called "Pumpkin Stuffed with Everything Good", and apparently the host, Michelle Norris, raved about it.

As my husband described a baked pumpkin filled with a concoction of bread cubes, cheese, garlic, herbs, bacon, and cream I was intrigued. A Google search turns up many articles, blogs, and recipe sites already buzzing about this dish, so maybe by the time I post this you have already heard about it.

I'm apparently not the only one who heard about the recipe, or heard the interview on NPR, and can't stop thinking about a "Pumpkin Stuffed with Everything Good". So, today at the store I gathered a couple ingredients I didn't have on hand, and my pumpkin is now baking in the oven.

I used cooked rice instead of bread since Greenspan claims it turns out quite like risotto, and I love risotto. It's funny that as I read the recipe I couldn't imagine other ingredients that would change the recipe up and be just as delightful, but while putting together the stuffing for the pumpkin I suddenly am inspired to add other ingredients. Cooked spinach, as Greenspan points out, is something I can see as a nice addition. If you use a stuffing of bread, golden raisins, chunks of apple, and walnuts finished off with cream enhanced by some cinnamon, vanilla, nutmeg and cloves...what a fantastic dessert!

Now I can't wait to try the sweet version of this recipe! I thought cooking this up tonight would allow me stop thinking about it, but I see I might not be able to rest until I've tried the alternative version of the recipe as well!

You can read the short article and recipe on NPR's website, but I'll join the club of bloggers and food connoisseurs (not that I put myself in that latter category) everywhere and post the recipe here for convenience.

One quick confession: I kind of like to read cookbooks. If this recipe is as scrumptious as Michele Norris apparently thinks it is, I will be tempted to pick up "Around My French Table", even though I have no practical need of another cookbook. Maybe a better idea would be to go peruse the book at a bookstore. Does that make me weird? I like to sit down with a cup of coffee and read through a cookbook?

OK. That's probably not the only thing that makes me weird.

Pumpkin Stuffed With Everything Good
Makes 2 very generous servings

1 pumpkin, about 3 pounds
Salt and freshly ground pepper
1/4 pound stale bread, thinly sliced and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
1/4 pound cheese, such as Gruyere, Emmenthal, cheddar, or a combination, cut into 1/2-inch chunks
2–4 garlic cloves (to taste), split, germ removed, and coarsely chopped
4 strips bacon, cooked until crisp, drained, and chopped
About 1/4 cup snipped fresh chives or sliced scallions
1 tablespoon minced fresh thyme
About 1/3 cup heavy cream
Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with a silicone baking mat or parchment, or find a Dutch oven with a diameter that's just a tiny bit larger than your pumpkin. If you bake the pumpkin in a casserole, it will keep its shape, but it might stick to the casserole, so you'll have to serve it from the pot — which is an appealingly homey way to serve it. If you bake it on a baking sheet, you can present it freestanding, but maneuvering a heavy stuffed pumpkin with a softened shell isn't so easy. However, since I love the way the unencumbered pumpkin looks in the center of the table, I've always taken my chances with the baked-on-a-sheet method, and so far, I've been lucky.

Using a very sturdy knife — and caution — cut a cap out of the top of the pumpkin (think Halloween jack-o'-lantern). It's easiest to work your knife around the top of the pumpkin at a 45-degree angle. You want to cut off enough of the top to make it easy for you to work inside the pumpkin. Clear away the seeds and strings from the cap and from inside the pumpkin. Season the inside of the pumpkin generously with salt and pepper, and put it on the baking sheet or in the pot. Toss the bread, cheese, garlic, bacon, and herbs together in a bowl. Season with pepper — you probably have enough salt from the bacon and cheese, but taste to be sure — and pack the mix into the pumpkin. The pumpkin should be well filled — you might have a little too much filling, or you might need to add to it. Stir the cream with the nutmeg and some salt and pepper and pour it into the pumpkin. Again, you might have too much or too little — you don't want the ingredients to swim in cream, but you do want them nicely moistened. (But it's hard to go wrong here.)

Put the cap in place and bake the pumpkin for about 2 hours — check after 90 minutes — or until everything inside the pumpkin is bubbling and the flesh of the pumpkin is tender enough to be pierced easily with the tip of a knife. Because the pumpkin will have exuded liquid, I like to remove the cap during the last 20 minutes or so, so that the liquid can bake away and the top of the stuffing can brown a little.
When the pumpkin is ready, carefully, very carefully — it's heavy, hot, and wobbly — bring it to the table or transfer it to a platter that you'll bring to the table.

Serving
You have choices: you can cut wedges of the pumpkin and filling; you can spoon out portions of the filling, making sure to get a generous amount of pumpkin into the spoonful; or you can dig into the pumpkin with a big spoon, pull the pumpkin meat into the filling, and then mix everything up. I'm a fan of the pull-and-mix option. Served in hearty portions followed by a salad, the pumpkin is a perfect cold-weather main course; served in generous spoonfuls or wedges, it's just right alongside the Thanksgiving turkey.

Storing
It's really best to eat this as soon as it's ready. However, if you've got leftovers, you can scoop them out of the pumpkin, mix them up, cover, and chill them; reheat them the next day.

Greenspan's Stuffing Ideas
There are many ways to vary this arts-and-crafts project. Instead of bread, I've filled the pumpkin with cooked rice — when it's baked, it's almost risotto-like. And, with either bread or rice, on different occasions I've added cooked spinach, kale, chard, or peas (the peas came straight from the freezer). I've made it without bacon, and I've also made and loved, loved, loved it with cooked sausage meat; cubes of ham are another good idea. Nuts are a great addition, as are chunks of apple or pear or pieces of chestnut.

Maple-Thyme Roast Chicken

2010-11-03T20:42:00.004-05:00

I'm certain that you all have been waiting with bated breath for the roast chicken recipe. I am here to deliver.

(Although, unlike so many blogs, this recipe comes with no pictures. Partly because I tend to multi-task while cooking already and adding photography to the mix is too much for my brain to handle, and partly because I'm a little afraid I would end up burning or scalding myself if I attempted to take pictures AND cook at the same time.)

You can just imagine a deep brown chicken at the end of this process. Brown, but not burned.

Also, I'm not sure why this recipe calls for cutting the backbone out of the chicken. I think maybe it cooks more evenly or something. Anyway, with some good kitchen shears handy it's not that hard to do.

Maple-Thyme Roast Chicken
Serves 4

4-lb. whole chicken, rinsed and patted dry 2 Tbs. olive oil
Kosher salt 2 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
Black pepper 1 Tbs. chopped fresh thyme
1/3 c. pure maple syrup 1/8 tsp. cayenne

Position rack in the upper third of oven and heat the oven to 400. Set the chicken on a cutting board, breast side down. Use kitchen shears to cut along both sides of backbone to remove it. Flip the chicken over and press down on the breasts with the heels of your hands to flatten it a little. Rub ¾ tsp. salt and ¼ tsp. pepper all over the chicken and set it breast side up in a 9x13 baking dish (the chicken should fit snugly).

In small bowl, whisk the maple syrup, oil, vinegar, thyme, and cayenne with 1 tsp. salt. Pour mixture evenly over chicken. Sprinkle the chicken with ¼ tsp. salt and several grinds of black pepper. Roast the chicken, basting or brushing it occasionally with the pan juices, until thermometer inserted in deepest part of thigh reads 170-175, 45-50 minutes. (Keep an eye on the pan juices; if they seem to be burning, add a couple of Tbs. of water to the bottom of the pan.)

Let chicken rest for a few minutes, cut it into pieces, drizzle it generously with pan juices, and serve.

I may need to build an ark.

2010-11-02T21:03:00.000-05:00

Well, after all I've done to try to revive my vegetable garden all my plants are now drowned.

I can't remember the last time it's rained ALL DAY. Seriously, it has been raining nonstop since approximately 8:30 this morning. My garden is elevated and has great drainage (thanks to my sweet husband!), but I'm not sure it can possibly drain 12 hours worth of rain adequately. I guess we'll see what becomes of the plants after this massive downpour.

Thankfully, I hauled my behind out of bed early enough this morning to go vote soon after the polls opened, and it was not yet raining. Unfortunately, everyone is our precinct apparently has a last name in the latter half of the alphabet and decided to also be there right when the polls opened. I waited quite a while to get my ballot all the while envying the people whose last names start with A-L that went right up and got their ballot in seconds.

There was also an unfortunate mix-up with the group that checked in directly ahead of me whereby they were all given the wrong ballot. The first member of the group had already finished voting, but all those ballots had to be confiscated and destroyed (I believe the word actually used was "mutilated"). It was quite a to-do that held up the line further. I think after I checked in, the ladies at the table for the last half of the alphabet revamped their strategy and found a more efficient way to run things.

Who knew it was so complicated to run the check-in table for a polling place?

After spending some time out in the wet weather running errands, I got to do one of my favorite things to do on a rainy day (right up there with reading and watching movies) - cooking! Some friends had their first baby about a month ago, and I took them dinner. (And got to hang out with them and their cute little girl!)

Dessert was a last-minute addition to the menu, and I made something I haven't made since college: cake mix cookies. Thankfully they still taste as good as they did back in the day.

In case you have a hankering for extremely unhealthy, but super easy, cookies, here's the recipe:

Cake Mix Cookies
1 box cake mix (I used yellow, but whatever you like will work)
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
2-3 Tbs. water
chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, peanut butter chips, nuts (whatever you'd like in the cookies, however much looks good to you)

Beat the eggs and oil. Mix the cake mix into the eggs and oil. Add 2-3 Tbs. water to make the batter a little thinner. Stir the chips or nuts into the dough. Drop by spoonfuls onto a baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

I did actually also make more healthy food, including mashed sweet potatoes, a salad, and roast chicken. The roast chicken is fairly easy. Come back tomorrow and I'll post the recipe. Roast chicken and potatoes is just a great homey meal...especially good on a rainy day.

Although, if I'd known it was going to be rainy and cold all day, I definitely would have made some soup! What about you? What do you like to eat on a rainy, cold day?

Goal achieved...a day late

2010-11-01T20:22:00.001-05:00

Honestly, I just now found and put up the appropriately autumn blog photo...while listening to the Rangers-Giants World Series game and drinking some of my favorite Merlot. This weekend was a little too full of other important things like dinner with friends, lots of World Series watching, and naps.

I would regale you all with further details from the weekend, but, obviously, it was not quite exciting enough to hold your attention for more than half a second.

The photo above was taken in the Mosel Valley in Germany four years ago...when we lived in Europe. They have Fall there, and it is beautiful.

It is also a bit colder than it is here, and, although I might like the temperatures to be a little bit cooler, I will take the sunshine and above freezing temperatures of north Texas any day over the cold, rainy, freezing weather we experienced in Europe.

This has nothing to do with fall, other than the fact that I planted a fall crop of vegetables, but I'd like to share a quick garden update. I put out some Sluggo (organic snail and slug killer/repellent) in my garden because, my word!, the pill bugs (aka. roly poly bugs) that are munching down on my butternut squash!!!

A couple things I read say the pill bugs are only there because they follow snails and slugs. I have not yet had the chance...or desire...to go out with a flashlight at midnight to observe possible snail and slug activity, but I thought maybe I'd take a chance and see if those pests are really the cause of destruction.

Well, since putting out the Sluggo I have seen no pill bugs. My squash still doesn't look great, but I've seen no pill bugs. I'll reserve judgment until I'm actually harvesting some squash, but early indications look positive.

I now need to give my complete attention to the Rangers game. Happy Monday!

Yes, that is a beach scene up there.

2010-10-29T17:07:00.000-05:00

Every time I look at my blog I think, "Wow. It's almost November. I should really put up a more seasonally appropriate photo."

The trouble is, I don't really have any photos that depict autumn because, well, we don't usually have that season around here.

So, up until yesterday it was still 90 degrees outside, which makes a beach scene look appropriate. However, the temperatures have now cooled down (even if just temporarily) and Thanksgiving will be here before I know it. I may need to make an effort to find a different photo for the blog.

I sincerely hope it's consistently cold by the end of next month. I can't keep track of all the La Niña, El Niño weather patterns. Is it possible that all the snow we got last winter means more mild temperatures this year? I could be totally making that up.

If none of this is making sense, it might be because I've been sneezing like crazy and had a sinus headache for the past five days. Unfortunately, in an effort to ward off an infection of any kind, I've been taking decongestant at night (actually, at all hours) that kind of makes me unable to sleep. The good news is it also keeps me pretty wired during the day. So, I don't notice the lack of sleep so much...except that it may be affecting my brain function just a little bit.

I'll quit this post while I'm ahead. I found some nighttime medication in a drawer that might or might not actually work, but I think it will at least let me sleep, and my goal this weekend is to find a suitable fall picture to replace the beach scene.

Oh, what an over-achiever I am!

Why is Voting So Hard?

2010-10-26T12:37:00.003-05:00

This is a public service announcement. November 2 is Election Day. Don't forget to vote.

And if you think you're going to forget to vote, go vote right now in early voting.

Is anybody else getting, no joke, at least ten calls per day with some pre-recorded message from a hopeful candidate? Or maybe you're lucky because you're only getting the annoying political flyers in your mailbox every day.

I wonder if all these candidates know that: a.) no one listens to their pre-recorded messages, b.) I (and probably most other people) only give a political flyer about 1/2 a second of my time, and c.) why would I make a decision based on propaganda that you're sending out about yourself? Pretty much all I know from the countless mailings is that one particular candidate has more money to spend on advertising than any other candidate in the any of the races I'm voting for.

And that's saying something because I decided a couple days ago to figure out who all I'm supposed to be voting for in this election, and there are EIGHTY races. 8 - 0.

80.

I just went to look it up again because I thought surely I had managed to exaggerate the number of races in the time since I last looked it up. Nope.

It took about thirty minutes to read about the candidates in the first three elections listed.

I have an idea. Let's set a limit on how many different races we vote for in a single election. Really, if we expect to have informed voters, there is no way any voter will adequately know about each candidate running in 80 races. Eighty is a wee bit extreme, don't ya think? Who has 13 hours to spend scrutinizing all the candidates?

So, what's going to end up happening is that people will all vote straight ticket or only vote for the governor and forget about the other 79 races.

Couldn't we just vote for about ten races at a time? After all, voting is an important right and if we're going to get everybody involved it'd be best not to overwhelm them with the ridiculous number of elections.

Just a thought.

Oh, and if anybody making phone calls or sending out pre-recorded messages is reading: please, stop calling and leaving us messages.

Thank you.

A Few Links to Check Out

2010-10-22T16:46:00.002-05:00

Check out everything you never knew you never knew about Daylight Saving Time. Thankfully this website has a "page" view as well as the "nodes" view that they say they're "trying out", because the "nodes" view about drove me bananas.

Jon Acuff's blog post about Packing made me think. It's a great analogy.

I made these cinnamon rolls a couple weeks ago. Mmmmm!!! I only made half the recipe because I did not really want 7 dozen cinnamon rolls, and I think I added a little too much frosting for my taste. Also, next time I'd cut back on the white sugar and increase the cinnamon...I like my cinnamon rolls heavy on the cinnamon.

Compassion International has been ministering to children in need for nearly 60 years. I was so encouraged to read in Compassion's most recent magazine that groups of Compassion "alumni" (kids who were in the program and are now adults) are springing up all over the world. Those who were helped by Compassion are now meeting to mobilize in service to God and their countries, and are even now themselves sponsoring children through Compassion! Take a look at their website to find out how you can help this ministry continue in its success.

Only 63 days until Christmas. (Just thought I'd throw that out there. 63 days sounds a lot longer than just over two months.) Do you wait until the last minute for shopping, or are you one of those people who buy gifts throughout the year? I feel like I'm somewhere in between, but leaning more toward last-minute.

And, finally: Thank you, Pioneer Woman. Irregardless is not a word!

Dear Secretary of the Department of Energy,

2010-10-20T14:40:00.002-05:00

I hear you're the one who's supposed to be reporting the impact of the 2005 Energy Policy Act that made Daylight Saving Time longer. So, here's the impact on me: I kind of hate it. Go back to the days when Daylight Saving Time ended in October.

I just don't know how I'm going to survive (i.e. get to work or anywhere on time in the morning, or be remotely awake in the a.m.) with two and half more weeks of Daylight Saving Time. 7:30 or 7:40 a.m. is entirely too late for the sun to be coming up...and it only gets worse with every passing day. Yeah, it takes a while to get used to the darkness at 6 p.m. that the end of Daylight Saving Time brings, but it's easier to turn on some lamps and drive home with the headlights on than it is to get out of bed in the pitch dark.

I can't remember what the effect is of starting Daylight Saving Time earlier in March, but maybe if you could just make it so the sun is rising around 6:30 a.m. year-round all my problems would be solved. Maybe sunshine as we awake in the morning would make us all happier, more peaceful people - it could be monumental!

Thank you for considering my request. Or at least giving me the hope that maybe this whole extension of Daylight Saving Time could be reversed at some point...I mean, that's a provision of the Energy Act of 2005 anyway.

Tired, Dragging, and Probably late for anything that requires a morning arrival,

Waiting expectantly for November

Scam

2010-10-15T13:30:00.002-05:00

Well, I would never have guessed that this particular type of scam really does exist.

I got a baby shower invitation in the mail this week. My name and address were printed on an address label (in two different fonts, I might add...kinda tacky). The invitation was Hallmark stationery, with everything filled out by hand (in purple pen, again...tacky...I think I was probably 13 the last time I used a purple pen). The time is listed as "2p-4p", and I want to know if anyone really thinks that's the correct way to give a time. The thing is, I have NO clue who these people are.

And they live in Ohio. I'm pretty sure I don't know anyone that lives in Ohio right now.

But just to make sure this isn't someone my husband knows from work, I asked him if he knew the "Posts". Nope. Not a clue.

So, I went to the baby registry/baby website included with the invitation (I checked out the general website first and it seems to be a legit place to post stuff about your pregnancy,etc.), looked at a wedding photo of a couple I did not even recognize, and read the most inane post about them and how they're a perfect couple and they registered for all this cool gender-neutral stuff because they want the baby's gender to be a surprise.

Scammers. Scammsters. Whatever. I don't understand how anyone thinks that a person who receives a random invitation in the mail from someone they clearly do not know would then go buy a gift for these total strangers.

Of course, I guess they're also running the risk that a bunch of people no one knows could show up at "Grandma Judi's house" on Sunday. Or start calling the phone number to harass whoever owns that line about sending scam baby shower invitations.

OK. Maybe I'm being dramatic and some weird family accidentally got my name and address on their invitation list and invited me to their baby shower mistakenly.

I guess a third option would be that I do, in fact, know these people and am getting old enough that I know too many people from too many places and my memory is apparently fading prematurely.

But I doubt it.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? I can't see how it's a mistake, and I also don't understand how it's even a productive scam.

October

2010-10-12T18:31:00.002-05:00

No more promises about writing more regularly or finishing up the recap of our Hawai'i trip tomorrow. Because obviously my promises mean nothing.

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with the month of October. For instance, I absolutely love the cooler, drier weather this month (usually) brings. However, I hate the ragweed that escalates to such heights it puts me in a state of claritin dependency and causes my throat to be itchy.

I love the way the light looks in October. With the sun lower in the sky, everything has a golden hue. The mostly clear, blue skies have also been a treat this month. I'll tell you what is not a treat: the sun not appearing until almost 7:30 in the morning. The sun might get to sleep late, but I don't, and it is really hard for me to get myself out of bed in the dark.

This October I love that the Texas Rangers have made it to the play-offs. Tonight is game 5, so I'm not sure yet whether we're going on or not, but there is the hope. Speaking of televised viewing events, I also enjoy watching movies that remind me of the fall (When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, and It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown among them).

Here's where I have to admit that I kind of hate football season. Thankfully, my husband's not really into football either, but I hate the major topic of conversation around here during the fall being all about the Cowboys. I'm pretty sure even if I watched football, the Cowboys would not be my favorite team.

I love anticipating the upcoming holidays, but I hate that gift-buying is hanging over my head. I love spending time with family and eating good food and getting vacation days. I hate this feeling that I should already be purchasing presents, or at least doing a little decorating around our house...but I'm not. In fact, I'm pretty sure the procrastination will continue well into November.

So, what about you? Am I the only one with this love/hate relationship? Anybody have good fall movies they love to watch?

Happy October! (Or, what's left of it!)

A Month Later...

2010-10-05T20:52:00.004-05:00

I have these good intentions of writing more regular blog posts. I go through periods where I have so many topics to write about, stories to tell, and reminiscing to do. Then something happens, and I can't even tell you what it is.

Some weeks just get busy. Unfortunately we have also gotten hit with ragweed along with the extremely pleasant temperatures and sunshine. Ragweed makes me tired, I think.

That or something else is wrong with me, because I. Am. Tired. I don't even have babies or small children, like so many of my friends, to keep me up all night and busy all day. Sometimes I seriously wonder how I would do it!

In any case, we were in Hawai'i a month ago. Can I just tell you that I still go look at our pictures ever few days, wish I were on a sunny beach, and have dreams about going snorkeling? Even a month later!

I didn't even tell you all about the week we spent in Maui. At least, not all of it.

Po'olenalena Beach, just down the street from our resort, was my favorite beach on Maui.

There was some pretty great snorkeling there and lots of green sea turtles.

We even went back for a final snorkeling adventure the morning we left the island to return home. Now, I have no clue about ocean stuff and currents and all. I'm definitely not anything more than a beginner snorkeler. We snorkeled out a ways that last morning and suddenly I noticed small stings, like bee stings, all around my mouth, then on my arms!

I'm not sure I've ever moved through water so quickly and so far as I did getting back to shore. John also got stung on his arms, but neither of us ever saw anything. Apparently green sea turtles like to eat jellyfish, often leaving behind tiny particles of the jellyfish, which can cause stings. I guess the turtles were having a feast that morning before we got there.

Instead of snorkeling, we ended up wading around in the shallow water and sitting in the surf just soaking up the sun.

On word of caution about Po'olenalena Beach. There are basically two parts of the beach separated by some lava rock you can easily climb over. The parking areas enter onto the larger part of the beach. The smaller part is apparently the place for topless and nude sunbathing (illegal, but we still saw it at a couple beaches nonetheless). Actually, both times we witnessed the nude beach-goers, there were photo shoots going on...one of which was a photo shoot of an entire family - two boys (wearing swim trunks), dad (also wearing appropriate beach attire), and mom (topless). We laughed about what in the world they were going to do with those family photos and what those boys are going to say about those pictures in six years or so when they're teenagers.

You will be glad to know we did not partake in the nudity. In fact, with our rash guard shirts, hats, and SPF 70 sunscreen, we were hardly any tanner than we had been before setting out for Hawai'i.

At least, hardly tanner compared to normal people. For me, I thought I had definitely gotten some sun; but when you start out glaringly white I guess it doesn't take much to be more tan.

The rest of Maui will have to wait for tomorrow (hopefully). I need to go get some sleep...and probably dream about beaches and snorkeling.

The Wonders of Sand

2010-09-28T12:44:00.002-05:00

In spite of my best instincts, I'm throwing up a short post...about sand. Sand, again.

You just thought I was done talking about Hawai'i. But no. I actually have a couple other posts floating around in my head, and I realize I am probably committing a cardinal sin of blogging by really writing more for my own benefit (being able to go back and read through my memories) rather than entertaining, educating, or enlightening the readers of this blog.

Although, you might find it amusing that I am choosing to inform the world about my feet today.

You see, ever since we returned from Hawai'i, I have noticed while showering or slathering on lotion that my feet are softer than they've ever been! It's a huge benefit of running around barefoot in sand every day for two weeks.

Let's face it. This is a cheaper way to have soft feet than paying for pedicures all the time. And it's a lot more fun and less time-consuming than resorting to the use of a foot scrub or a ped egg. I've discovered another great reason to move to Hawai'i!

Let's go! (I'm absolutely certain the effects of the sand will be wearing off any day now.)

Howdy, Folks!

2010-09-24T14:05:00.005-05:00

First off, I'm on the computer writing this post with some hesitation because I'm only about 30% sure I will finish typing it up, edit it, and get it posted to the blog in one piece without this computer eating it...or blowing up.

I got some dire warning yesterday when I booted the computer up that some update we installed was wreaking certain havoc on our entire database and it needed to be uninstalled. Or something. I went to the virus protection to check and see if this warning was for real, it was indeed, and so I just clicked "OK" for it to fix the problem. (I am so sophisticated when it comes to the computer knowledge.)

Today, when I booted up I got another warning that now my computer is not fully protected from viruses and whatnot...probably because yesterday it told me I needed to uninstall some update. Today it said I needed to install an update.

To make a long story even longer, I attempted three times to get the stupid update for the virus software to install all while my computer began moving at the speed of molasses in wintertime. It finally installed, but then I could not get any windows or the internet to work properly and I just shut the thing down. I'm not back on, but I keep getting the "circle of death" (used to be the "hourglass of death" back in the day) and it is taking entirely too long for this computer to do anything.

Whew.

As if the computer isn't problems enough (for my day off, nonetheless), I have had a couple unexpected animal encounters within the past hour.

I went out to turn the smoker on to smoke some chicken breasts, and lo, I found this:

Even poking and prodding (with a stick) would not make this toad leave the smoker. I couldn't just turn the thing on because I actually want toads in my garden, alive, eating bugs...I just don't want to have to touch them. Finally, I donned some garden gloves and picked him up to let him jump over to the garden.

When I came back inside I discovered a wasp flying madly around our living room. Of course by the time I got the fly swatter he was nowhere to be seen, but I know that wasp is somewhere in this house.

I don't think nature likes me today.

On the bright side, if you're looking to avoid nature, Starbucks has pumpkin spice lattes again. (What could be more unnatural that adding artificial flavoring and whipped cream to a coffee beverage? Just kidding. I think.) Yea! You can pretend it's not 90 degrees and humid outside, sit inside (away from nature) in your air-conditioning, and sip on a beverage that just tastes like autumn, cool weather, and Thanksgiving.

The only downside of the pumpkin spice latte is that it reminds me of the year I started drinking them. (As if I drink them regularly...I may have two or three a year.) That year was the fall of 2007. My nephew was living in the NICU in Austin, and on my way from my sister's house in New Braunfels to Austin I would pick up a pumpkin spice latte sometimes. Venti, so I could share with my sister. Those were not the happiest of times.

However, my sweet nephew is now three years old: happy, precocious, cute, smart, and so fun! He's actually coming with his mom and dad to visit us in a couple weeks because...

It's State Fair of Texas time! The fair started today! I can't wait to take D to pet the animals, see the little kids' circus show, play on a mini-farm, look at a giant sculpture make entirely of butter, and eat some corny dogs. Oh, and hear a 52-foot cowboy greet us all with a friendly, "Howdy,folks!" Unfortunately D will not be partaking in this year's most creative fried food since he's underage: fried beer. Come to think of it, I probably won't either. Although, I do hear there's some kind of fried margarita thing. That might be more my style.

But let's face it. Spending $15 for fried alcohol is definitely NOT my style. And come to think of it, if you fry alcohol, wouldn't all the alcohol cook out anyway? What's the point?

In case you're wondering, there's also a "tastiest fried food" award for the year: Texas fried Fritos Pie. Mmm-mmm. Think I'll stick with a corny dog.

Here's hoping this will post!

Mr. Green

2010-09-22T20:49:00.001-05:00

I am not a social butterfly. Sometimes I secretly wish no one sitting next to me on the train, bus or airplane will fancy striking up a conversation. Maybe it's just that I'm not that great at small talk.

No. I think it's really just a weird fear that I still sometimes struggle with. Because, honestly, I have had hour-long conversations with total strangers on airplanes before. I am capable of making small talk when necessary.

So, the evening we attended a luau on the Big Island, I was a bit nervous about who we'd be sitting with. Everyone sits at long, banquet tables, and, although most of the evening is filled with hula and fire-dancing entertainment, there's plenty of unfilled time to chat with the other dinner guests. My saving grace is being with a husband who can pretty much talk to anyone, anytime, about anything. We are polar opposites in this regard.

Turns out, one of my fondest memories of that luau is talking with the 80-year-old man who sat across from us that night. While it was a little sad that he was vacationing alone, we left with no doubt that Mr. Green is a happy, hopeful man.

And we have some things in common with Mr. Green. He and his wife loved to travel...and so do we. In fact, he has Hilton diamond elite super-special status, just like John. (Although, he was spending his own money to stay at the Kona Village Resort, where the luau was, because he loves it so much. It's an all-inclusive resort with fabulous grounds.) He also collects American Airline miles for his flights, just like John.

I don't recall him ever asking if we have children...until the very end of the evening. I think that's because he and his wife never had children. Not by choice, but because in the second year of their long marriage, his wife was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and the doctors warned her that she should not become pregnant.

Mr. Green is also a believer in Christ...a Messianic Jew to be exact. He told us how he did not come to his faith until he was in his 40's. I believe he said something like, "God used my wife's illness to send us on a faith journey. It was our search for healing that eventually brought us to the Lord." Mr. Green said he has visited almost every kind of church there is. He now attends a Messianic Jewish community (where I believe he's a leader in the church), as well as a pentecostal congregation. He is an encouraging man to talk with.

Mr. Green's wife died in 2002. He still travels...at least to Hawai'i. It's not hard to see why he loves the islands so much! That hardest part of the evening was parting ways; Mr. Green is an amazing man.

Even though your dinner companions are not guaranteed to be as interesting or encouraging as ours, we would join our guidebook in recommending the luau at the Kona Village Resort. It's an entertaining way to learn a little about Hawai'i's history and partake in some delicious food.

The Sands Of Hawai'i

2010-09-21T14:20:00.007-05:00

Hawai'i taught me that there are so many different colors of sand.

I know. Profound.

I'm pretty sure we visited a salt-and-pepper sand beach at some point during our trip, but for some reason those tend to be course-grained sand, which I am not a fan of. Thus, I don't think we stayed long and no pictures were taken. Truthfully, a salt-and-pepper sand beach looks like white sand with dirt mixed into it. I know it's not, but it just looks dirty.

My favorite beach, Mauna Kea, has really fine, white sand. I love the way the white sand looks beneath the water. These are the most beautiful beaches, in my opinion.

My second favorite would be the golden sand beaches. Again, really fine sand that's nice to walk in. The beach we like best in Maui, Po'olenanlena Beach, has golden sand.

Apparently there is a green sand beach on the Big Island, created by the grinding down of lava rock and olivine, but a trip here requires the use of a 4wd vehicle, which we lacked.

Umm. Ours is the one on the right. And, although we did get it to this parking lot near Makalawena Beach after some pretty bumpy roads through a lava field, that is nothing compared to the road leading to the green sand beach.

(Makalawena was a white sand beach, by the way, but not quite as fine as Mauna Kea. Also, hiking 30 minutes on a lava path in the heat of the day to get there kind of takes a little away from the experience. Our travel guide says this long, hot hike dissuades visitors and we could have the beach practically to ourselves. So, we were a little disappointed to be met with quite a few others already on the beach when we got there.)

(Here's a picture of it. As you can see, it's also very pretty. Just a bugger to get to. And also, something's wrong with the saturation. I'm sure the camera was on some weird setting. The beach didn't look this yellow.)

(I don't know why I'm typing all this in parentheses. Apparently the whole story about the rental car and lava fields and the beach at the end of a long, hot hike is not a quick aside so much as a full-fledged rabbit trail I have just spent the last five minutes typing about.)

So, the final type of beach we experienced was the black sand beach. It looks like dirt from afar and then surprisingly feels like fine sand...only black. Hmm. Guess that's where they come up with the name "black sand".

Pololu Beach is the first black sand beach we walked on...after hiking down to it on a trail that started like this:

If you can't read it, those are all manner of signs warning of impending death and destruction should we take the hike or go to the beach.

OK. Not really. But almost.

Here's what the trail looks like:

I guess they aren't kidding about the "watch for falling rocks" warning.

So, we hiked down in flip-flops. Naturally.

We visited a second black sand beach, Punalu'u. The vistas surrounding it weren't nearly as breathtaking, but we did see some beached turtles.

And a lot of Asian tourists that pulled up in a tour bus. (Punalu'u was a bit more accessible than Pololu.)

That does it for my summary of "The Sands of Hawai'i". (I made that up just now and even though it's cheesy I'm leaving it because it's late, and I'm tired.)

P.S. Did you know there are only 14 letters in the Hawaiian language? I'll bet after all the names of these beaches you might be able to guess what the 14 letters are. I think that's why so many of the Hawaiian words have to be so long - they're only using 14 letters.

Post Op. Report

2010-09-18T10:36:00.002-05:00

I will not attempt to construct a post today further chronicling our adventures in Hawaii. I had some surgery yesterday and am still feeling the effects of anesthesia. My head is a little bit foggy, and my memory still doesn't seem quite up to par.

Yesterday was, hopefully, the last surgical procedure we'll have to do in this infertility, post-miscarriage saga. OK. At least the last one for a good, long while, I hope. It was a quick scope of my uterus and some clipping of scar tissue there that might have increased my chance of miscarriage in future. (Although miscarriage is such a mystery that there are still lots of unknowns.) Anyway, I feel we've now done all the testing and procedures that need to be done after my miscarriage in May.

Whew.

And not that you care to know, but the worst part of this whole surgery was vomiting in the O.R. when the anesthesiologist put antibiotics in my IV before he gave me the anti-nausea medicine. In hindsight those two should have been reversed, but who knew?

Also, strangely, the hydrocodone given me right before I left the surgery center did nothing to relieve my cramping pain. Good thing my doctor suggested I just take some ibuprofen - it worked wonders.

I will stop rambling because I'm really afraid I am not making any sense just now.

I might need a nap.

Back to Hawaii and more adventuresome subjects in the near future!

The bible of Hawaii tourism

2010-09-15T22:35:00.003-05:00

So, what did we do in Hawaii? How did we plan all our daily activities and get everything done while spending at least a few minutes relaxing?

The same way every other tourist in Hawaii got to all the "super secret" beaches, ate at the tastiest restaurants, and stopped at all the most beautiful spots:

Seriously, every place we went (restaurants, beaches, hikes, pull-outs along the road) there was at least one other couple or family toting around this bright blue book.

For good reason, too. If you're going to visit Hawaii, get this book. There's one for every island.

John even ordered some biscuits and gravy at a cafe one morning despite a warning in the book that says it's way too salty. "Surely this guy can't be right about EVERYTHING," John thought.

Yep. They were salty.

If it's in the book, it's gospel truth.

Having detailed directions written out in a book is also handy when attempting to locate places. We discovered our GPS lady is none so wise when it comes to the streets of Hawaii. There were roads turning when in reality they clearly went only straight. There were streets where there actually were no streets. There were no streets when indeed there were entire neighborhoods. There was much "recalculating" only to quite silently correct the map screen to show us, in fact, going in the right direction.

The least the GPS lady could do was say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. You are in fact heading the right way. No recalculating necessary."

But NO. She just silently adjusted herself to our turns (or lack of turns) all the while pretending that she had gotten us there quite perfectly.

Get the book. Leave the GPS at home. Or at least, take the GPS lady's directions with a grain of salt.

You can pick up that grain of salt at a cafe in Kihei that serves salty biscuits and gravy.

Listen to the book.

All I want is a room somewhere...

2010-09-14T22:17:00.009-05:00

I think part of the reason I absolutely LOVED our vacation to Hawaii was that we got to stay in the fanciest resorts I've ever set foot in...
for FREE.

FREE.

FREE.

FREE.

This was all a combination of kissing my husband goodbye early Monday morning and welcoming him home again on Friday night for approximately 6 months, and my husband learning how to play the hotel points game.

For instance, the Grand Wailea on Maui would cost about 100,000 points a night to stay there. Whoa.

So, my industrious husband used all the free nights he earned during one particular 3-month promotion, so we didn't have to use points; we used five free nights.

The Waikoloa Village on the Big Island was our "points" stay.

Free stay aside, I still think these are fabulous resorts and I highly recommend them to everyone.

At least, I recommend them to everyone who's rich...or spends half to 2/3 of their life living in a Hilton hotel.

In my humble opinion, taking into consideration I've never stayed anywhere close to this nice, the Grand Wailea (which is a Waldorf Astoria property) is a little snooty. I never felt dressed appropriately and I wonder how many of their other guests were stockpiling the fancy toiletry accoutrements like nobody's business.

However, the bathroom was awesome.

I could be tainted by the fact that our master bathroom at home is actually 15 square feet (if that), obviously housing only a shower stall...no tub. I suppose having a bathroom that only one of us can enter into at a time demonstrates our love of experiences (i.e. travel) over the creature comforts.

Anywho, the Grand Wailea also has an excellent water speed slide and a great restaurant, Humuhumunukunukuapua'a (that's Hawaii's state fish), with excellent views:

The Waikoloa Village is like Disney World: more families, a tram and a boat system to shuttle you around, a fun lagoon, and a dolphin experience. It also boasts some mighty fine views.

The only down sides were the standard hotel bathroom (which was just fine until we moved on to Maui and learned what fantastical bathrooms exist), and the amount of time it took to travel/ride/float/hike to our car in the parking lot. We figured out we needed to leave 15 minutes early just to get to the car every day.

We did stay for a couple nights in between at a bed and breakfast in Hilo on the Big Island. The owner joked that we would have to get accustomed to regular old lodgings after being at Waikoloa Village.

He was kind of right. But Hale Kai Hawaii was more the type of place we would stay if we had to pay for it ourselves, and it was actually really great. Great view, yummy breakfasts every morning on the deck overlooking the ocean, fun guests, and extremely kind owners. What more could you ask for?

(OK. I did whine a little that there was no air conditioning, but I like to sleep in arctic temperatures and it was pretty warm this time of year in Hawaii...at least pretty warm for not having air conditioning.)

Hawaii is spectacular, and if I could do it all over again I'd stay at the same accommodations. Two thumbs up!

Survival of the Fittest

2010-09-13T21:00:00.008-05:00

I must tell you about a few moments from our trip to Hawaii. This is not in any way a summary or recap of our entire trip. I might get to that later.

Like maybe tonight or tomorrow night when I still can't get to bed at a decent hour.

Thank you, jet lag.

Our second full day in Hawaii we overheard a woman going on our boat snorkeling trip say something that would put our entire trip in perspective. No matter how bad things might get on our vacation (which they never did...not even close), we could be thankful we were not members of her party.

"Well, if they don't get out of jail tonight, we'd better cancel two spots on the parasailing trip."

Not sure what landed those two people in jail...something about drinking and a bar and raucous. I didn't feel it appropriate to ask.

Those two people sure missed some awesome snorkeling at Captain Cook Monument in Kealakekua Bay.

Our trip was off to an AMAZING start! Snorkeling in the best location in the state, maybe the country, followed the next day by some perfect timing.

On our way to what turned out to be a delicious seafood dinner sitting right next to the ocean, we passed by the lagoon at our resort. The lagoon was closed for guests at that time, but there were a few people standing on the sandy shore so we went right over to see...

A monk seal! They're endangered. And it was right there on the shore. Barking at us.

There were two employees from the dolphin experience area there telling people to keep a safe distance back and obviously wondering what in the heck they should be doing. The guy finally asks the girl, "Did somebody call security?" To which the girl responds, "Yeah. He's right over there."

Standing there with the rest of us. Staring at the seal. I'm pretty sure he had no earthly idea what to do with a monk seal in the lagoon.

Turns out the monk seal was dining on puffer fish that evening. Apparently this spiny, toxic fish is not the recommended diet for monk seals.

I say, "survival of the fittest."

And finally, I hesitate to share this with the world for fear of offending someone, but we got a real kick out of it and are still bringing it up in conversation.

Every time John says he "loves" something I think of this plaque. (My husband is nothing if not a bit dramatic, so he "loves" and "hates" a lot of things.)

(He has not, however, admitted his "love" for bamboo. Not that I recall, anyway.)

I sincerely hope this 95 year-old woman loved other things in her long life. If I live to be 95 I want to be remembered for loving a lot of things (or more appropriately people...and my God), but not for my love of a tall, hollow, Asian plant that pandas also love.

Nice, but I don't love it.

I could love this:

Mauna Kea Beach. Perfect.

Having Too Much Fun

2010-09-04T23:18:00.002-05:00

OK. Well, I haven't been posting like I had planned to. We're just too busy having too much fun!!!

We're on the Hilo side of the Big Island now after spending the rest of last week on the Kona side. We snorkled, snorkled, snorkled, laid on the beach, saw a monk seal up close at the lagoon by our hotel, ate some great food, hiked through a lava field to get to a secluded beach (secluded until it was written up in our guide book and we found quite a few others already there), and attended a great luau.

Yesterday we went to the southern most point in the United States, met a couple from Germany, saw a bunch of sea turtles on a black sand beach, and swam in a lava-heated pool.

Today was Volcanoes National Park, and it was awesome! But I really have to go now because we're taking a boat trip out to see lava flowing into the ocean. If you read this soon (which, most of you probably won't because you're sleeping right now), pray for me. We're going on kind of a small boat with Lava Roy in some rough seas (4-6-foot waves). I'm taking some Dramamine before we head out...just in case. Too bad that won't help at all with the bumpy ride rattling my bones!

But...flowing lava!!! How cool will that be?!? Lava Roy said last night it was even a bit explosive. We can't wait!

Paradise

2010-08-30T11:30:00.002-05:00

Well, Hawaii is all I thought it would be and more! Even though we've really only been here one full day. But let me tell you, it was a great day!

Basically all we've done so far is orient ourselves to the 63-acre resort we're staying on, eat some breakfast overlooking the ocean in Kailua-Kona, pick up some snorkel gear for John, visit the farmer's market for apple-bananas and mangoes, attempt snorkling in the lagoon at our resort (victory!), and take a dip in the adult pool.

Oh, and the sunset last night was excellent! Tonight we'll get an even better view of it from the restaurant we plan to eat at.

Now it's off for our snorkling boat tour. We're going to what our guidebook describes as the best place ot snorkle in the state - Captain Cook's monument. Better go get ready to leave.

I hope all the swimming and snorkling will made up for the diet of nachos, burgers, bacon, cheese, and avocado I've been consuming since we left for this vacation!

Aloha!

Perspective

2010-08-28T09:10:00.002-05:00

I decided what to plant in the garden for the fall. I'm pretty sure that had the temperatures remained in the 100s (upper 30s C) this week, there would be no fall garden. However, morning temps in the 70s are too good to pass up. Yesterday I planted broccoli and butternut squash seeds...even though Texas A&M says it's too late to plant them now. We'll see what happens.

Now I have to con my neighbor into watering them while we're in.....HAWAII!!! Woo-hoo!!! Can't wait!!! I've never been, we're going on airline miles and hotel points, and we're visiting the Big Island and Maui!

This long vacation comes at the culmination of three really hard years. Come to think of it, almost ever since we moved back to the US life has been trying. We are so looking forward to being away, someplace beautiful, not worried about work, infertility, miscarriage, surgeries, hospitals, or triple-digit heat.

But I know what really needs to happen is connection with my husband and a breakthrough with God. Because after the vacation's over, we come back to real life. And work, infertility, miscarriage, surgeries and hospitals will again be part of our lives. (Hopefully NOT the triple-digit heat.) I need some new energy and some peace, joy, and a better perspective to deal with all of that. Only my God can do it.

Some things in the news recently have made me feel a little better about my position in life right now. Can you believe there's a traffic jam in China that is lasting over a month?!? CRAZY!!!

And I am also thankful I am not trapped in a mine...maybe until Christmas.

Perspective. Sometimes I need a little. It doesn't take away the pain of losing a child or the stress I feel in my own situations, but it does make me grateful for what I do have.

I will attempt to offer updates of Hawaii, but I will not promise anything yet. I'm not sure how our schedule and internet availability will pan out.

Aloha!

When 90 Degrees is a Cold Front

2010-08-23T21:05:00.004-05:00

After weeks of triple-digit temperatures, the weather has decided to produce some lows in the 70s and highs only in the 90s! This has not been seen since May...OK, maybe mid-June.

Unfortunately it is still quite humid. I worked in the garden (finally ridding myself of the gigantic okra plants and struggling peppers) between 7 and 9 this morning, hoping it would be cooler. I still ended up dripping with sweat, but thankful that my garden is ready for fall planting.

By the way, while digging down, down, down to get the silly okra plant roots out, I was reminded of when my sister and I would start digging holes in our backyard as little kids thinking we could dig all the way to China. I'm pretty sure the holes never hot deeper than 6 inches. I'm also fairly certain my dad did not condone our excavations in the backyard. Maybe that's why we only ever got to about 6 inches deep. Well, this morning by the time I got the okra roots unearthed in the garden, I felt like I should be seeing China at any moment.

I still haven't really researched what I can plant this late in the game for a fall harvest...or even decided if I really want to plant or let the garden rest...but at least I'm done with the okra!

I also need to show the world the beautiful breakfast John made for himself while I was working last Saturday. I feel it's appropriate to share since he went to the trouble of taking a picture and all.

Those eggs would have had no vegetables in them at all before we got married. Heck. I have a hard time believing there would have even been a homemade breakfast nine years ago had he been forced to fend for himself. I'm proud that my husband can cook such a pretty meal. If something happens to me, he should be able to survive. I think.

That's morbid. Let's not think about that.

My cute, sweet nephew had a good first day of preschool. As far as we can tell. The communication between teacher and parent in public preschool is lacking, but D was happy when the teacher's aide brought him to the car after school.

He was also very thirsty. I certainly hope my sister writes a note to the teacher making sure she knows D won't really drink much out of an open cup and that's why she send a sippy cup with him to school. The child has to drink some water in the three hours he's at school! (My sister says that, as a mom of a preemie, she knows she will probably be more out-spoken about her child's well-being than most parents, and if the teachers want to complain about her in the teacher's lounge, they can go ahead.)

My sister dutifully followed the rules (although apparently every other parent did not) about just pulling up and letting an assistant get D out of the car and take him in the school rather than parking and taking him into his classroom herself. Of course, D didn't know the assistant and cried when she took him away. I believe my sister cried after that, too...just a little. I think I would have cried as well had I known this was happening. I would not have cried just a little.

There were no notes in the "communication folder" that D carts back and forth to school each day, so my sister could only find out from my nephew that he "petted Rory," the teacher's dog who comes to school every day. D loves dogs, so this must have been a highlight of the day. He even told me he "petted Rory" when I talked to him on the phone that evening. Man, do I miss that kid!

And finally, do you know that stores do not carry No-Ad sunscreen anymore? Even though consumer reports ranks it as one of the best? And it's cheap? You have to buy it online now. And pay shipping.

I think those are the highlights from the past couple days.

Oh, and John has other skills besides cooking a pretty breakfast. He was featured in the Baylor Business Accounting and Business Law annual report magazine thing. You can read the article - it's on page 5 of the PDF file.

OK. Now that's all the news. Hope you're having a great week so far! Enjoy the cold front of 90-degree temperatures! It's practically fall-like, people!

Talk to Me

2010-08-21T17:30:00.002-05:00

Note: Several of you (which actually amounts to more than half of you) who read this blog have let me know that posting comments has been problematic. Although I will still review all comments before they are posted, you can now leave comments without having any sort of specific online account (Google, Wordpress, Blogger, etc.).

Let the posting begin!

Moque Choux, Single Subject Notebooks, Etc.

2010-08-20T11:17:00.004-05:00

Well, I know what I can grow in my garden next year - no matter how hot and humid it gets.

Okra.

I have so much okra. And okra really only stays good for about three days in the refrigerator. Thankfully my neighbor harvested and ate okra for one week while we were in Colorado, so there's about a pound of okra I didn't have to figure out what to do with!

I've added it to jambalaya, made some maque choux, fried it, and put a bunch of it up in the freezer. But I am getting a little tired of the okra, so I think before our next trip I might just go pull it all up.

I have two hesitations about doing this. First, I kind of hate to pull out plants that are still pretty healthy and producing so much! Second, the stems on these plants have gotten as large as a small tree, so I'm pretty sure "pulling them up" will have to be more like chopping them down with an axe. That will require me to be outside for more than a few minutes which might then require the use of an oxygen tank because all the excessive heat, humidity and ozone is wreaking havoc with my breathing the last few days.

And now you're getting tired of me talking about all the okra!

My poor bell peppers grow...but only to a small size. This one has been this same size for several weeks now:

I think even daily watering is not enough to keep the plants from getting baked in all this heat.

Have I ever said how much I love basil?

I made BLTs the other night with homegrown tomatoes my sister gave us last weekend (Thank you, B!!!), pepper bacon, basil leaves, baby spinach leaves, and basil mayonnaise. Mmmmm!

Basil is handy for adding to spaghetti sauce, making pesto, putting on pizza, sandwiched between mozzarella and tomatoes in a toasty, chopped up on salad, or processed into salad dressing. And it's a pretty plant!

On another note, this is tax-free weekend around these parts. We took a quick trip to the store this morning to purchase school supplies to donate to the school that one campus of our church is meeting in. Single subject notebooks for 15 cents!!! We got 75 of them for just over $10! What a deal!

Speaking of school. My sweet nephew is starting pre-school next week. Five mornings a week. I don't know how my sister is handling it because I am nervous and scared for him, and a little in awe that he is growing up so fast and already going to school!

Although, we also talk often about the fact that seeing him grow and change is a huge praise when so many doctors warned us when he was a baby that he might not make it...or he might not be able to go to school...or he might not be able to walk, or talk, or eat by himself. D is a miracle. A miracle who is walking, talking, eating, learning, and making his personality known!

So, to take my mind off how alarmingly fast time is flying and how much I miss my nephew, I guess I'll go do something with the okra sitting in my fridge and work up the nerve to chop down the gigantic plants thriving inexplicably in the garden.

Colorado Trip: The End

2010-08-17T20:46:00.003-05:00

OK. The Colorado trip report has drug on long enough. I promise I will finish out the week in review with this post!

Day 4 in Estes Park was another resting (aka no hiking day) for us. Although, I'm not sure getting up at 4:30 in the morning to drive to Sprague Lake and witness the alpen glow can actually be considered "resting". John and I did this same thing on a previous trip, but this time there were some clouds and fog on the mountains, which, in my completely unprofessional opinion, may have negatively affected the alpen glow somewhat.

It was still beautiful...and cold.

Here we are waiting for it.

And here's the peak moment.

Then I went back to the cabin and took a nap while John called in to a meeting at work (yuck) and the other carload of early risers stopped for doughnuts.

As best I can recall, the rest of the day consisted of coffee from Kind Coffee in Estes Park, cinnamon rolls in Glen Haven, looking and shopping at Leah's (also in Glen Haven), visiting the farmer's market back in Estes Park, reading on the cabin porch, and perusing downtown Estes Park stores.

John, on the other hand, departed shortly after we got back from the farmer's market to take another off-roading trip with one member of our party who missed it the first time around. There is plenty of video footage (of poor quality because I think the only camera available is our digital point and shoot), and we are promised that one day there will be an epic video detailing the whole crazy adventure.

On Friday we took a final hike in the national park to the top of Deer Mountain. We saw many flowers and gorgeous mountain views, but no deer.

We must have been walking around the YMCA of the Rockies grounds in the afternoon, and I believe we also made a run to McDonald's for some Dr. Peppers, but I vividly remember returning to the cabin late in the afternoon with John's mom and sister. We came back to discover approximately 10 family members and friends out on the porch talking and playing...while John's dad (the only actual occupant of the cabin home at the time) was inside on his laptop seemingly oblivious to the party taking place on the porch.

Some of the people left, others came back, a couple moved in for the night, John's sister made a fantastic dinner, and we spent the rest of the evening playing with two of the younger members of our large party and packing up our belongings.

Perhaps the funniest moment of the night was witnessing the scene of complete and utter chaos as John's dad sits on a chair in the living room on his laptop, John's sister sits on the sofa in the living room trying to do some schoolwork, I sit next to her doing nothing in particular, two young family friends, J and K, play boisterously on the floor with John's aunt (who is also their aunt), John runs around trying to pack things up, an iPod is blasting either opera music or Sandy Patty from a bedroom in the back of the cabin, and John's mom sits in a chair near the door to the hallway talking on the phone that is tied to the wall by a cord.
Imagine if you will, little J somehow starts bleeding from his knee (I believe it was probably a scab casualty), I tell John to go find a band-aid, I run for some Kleenex, John's aunt ushers J into the bathroom while trying not to get blood everywhere, and everyone is in general chaos all around John's mom who continues having a normal conversation on the phone while John's dad continues working on his laptop.

Maybe you had to be there, but it was pretty hilarious.

Somehow we managed to all get packed up, load the cars, sleep a little, and head out by 5 or 5:30 the next morning for the looooooong drive back home.

I believe the only items left behind were a bag of dirty clothes (less laundry to do when you get home) and a wallet (which only enjoyed the cool Colorado weather for another day before being over-nighted back to the triple-digit temperatures we are enjoying in North Texas).

It has now taken me so long to recap our Colorado trip that we are already counting down the days until our next vacation. And it's a big one: Hawaii!!! We've never been and are desperately excited to get away, just the two of us, and leave behind all this heat and the stress and disappointment of everyday, regular life. Bring on the unreality, the snorkeling, and the laying on the beach!

Colorado Trip: Part 3

2010-08-11T18:55:00.003-05:00

If you'll recall, I left you (looooong ago) wondering if we gathered everybody up and made it to Sprague Lake in time for a picnic before dark on our second day in Estes Park.

Turns out, most everybody made it for dinner at the last minute, and we even got to the lake, cooked, and ate before dark.

Except for the s'mores. Which we toasted over a propane-powered grill on coat hangers by the light of flashlights. It was quite satisfying. And quite remarkable that with only 15 minutes to gather supplies we managed to remember to load up supplies for s'mores! (And by "we" I mean John's mom because John, his sister, and I had to run to the corner grocery store in those 15 minutes to buy more ground beef and hamburger buns.)

By the way, we also had plenty-o-food with lots to spare!

The whole ~~ordeal~~ event was sealed as the perfect idea when we arrived at the lake and saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky.

(Sorry I do not have a picture of the rainbow. We were a little busy carting the grill and picnic supplies to the lake in order to start cooking ASAP while there was still light.)

But, more importantly, we DO have a picture of this:

This photo was captured by John's cousin because our little pocket-sized camera does not quite have the capability of capturing good photos at dusk.

Or maybe I do not have the capability of taking good pictures in low light. Whatever.

I could hardly believe my eyes when we first caught a glimpse of the lake. I thought what I was seeing standing in the water was a horse. But no. It had antlers...like a moose. I have never seen a moose on the Estes Park side of the national park. We've seen them way up high on the other side of the great divide, but never down at Sprague Lake!

I have to say, watching the moose was a highlight of the evening. Or maybe the rainbow. Or the fellowship. Or the gorgeous weather. OK. The entire evening was a blast.

The next day John, his parents, and I drove up Fall River Road to the Alpine Visitor Center. Again, the four-wheel-drive came in handy driving up this one-way dirt road in Rocky Mountain National Park with great views. We got back down to Estes Park (no thanks to the extensive construction happening on Trail Ridge Road - the route back down to town) just in time to join more family and those who couldn't make the previous night's picnic for lunch at The Baldpate Inn. We had a large party, but if you ever eat there with less than 12 people, try and get a table on the enclosed porch to enjoy awesome views of the mountains along with your soup, salad, bread, and chocolate pie.

And you must try the chocolate pie..and the cornbread if they have it.

That evening we spent time with family and friends playing Bananagrams (I won! Once.), Hand-and-Foot, and putting together a puzzle of Frosty the Snowman (still not sure why we were putting together Frosty in July...but it was fun).

Unfortunately at this point in the week we were over the halfway mark of the vacation, and everything is a downhill slide toward having to go home. It's a little sad, but we still had some great times ahead of us the next two days...which I will write about later. Right now my tummy is telling me we should be eating dinner soon.

Pause

2010-08-05T21:08:00.002-05:00

Tonight I got off work early and was driving home during sunset. The sky was BEAUTIFUL!

I wish I had had a camera with me (besides my cell phone). I took one picture with the cell phone at a red light, but alas, I cannot ever get the stinkin' pictures off my cell phone. I have an old-school phone that is part of a family plan with my in-laws for which we are supposed to be paying them $10 a month or something. We are cheapskates. And come to think of it we probably owe my in-laws about $500 by now for our phone use over the last several years.

Seriously, I cannot fathom paying $80 or $100 a month for one cell phone. $1200 in a year! Or maybe people pay even more than that!

Yep. We're cheapskates.

Or maybe we just spend our money on other things we deem more important.

Anyway, the sunset was putting on a show all over the whole sky tonight. The sun itself was a blaring red orb low to the horizon painting the big, fluffy cumulus clouds across the sky pink and orange and making the sky glow a pale, but brilliantly clear, blue. The fluffy clouds right around the sun were dark, but outlined in fiery light.

I desperately wanted to pull over on the overpass section of the highway to stare and take pictures. (Until I remembered I only had the silly cell phone camera with me. Oh, and probably more importantly, I figured pulling over on the overpass would be a near death sentence. And all the traffic noise would be deafening. That and the stench of diesel would slightly ruin the show in the sky.)

By the time I got home the sun had set and everything was more of a muted pink and gray.

But I sure enjoyed the ride home. After a very busy day if was relieving to see some beauty.

It's all a wonderful reminder that there are many layers of life going on at the same time. I can spend a lot of time focusing on the painful, disappointing parts. Or the mundane, boring parts. But there are also beautiful, peaceful, joyful layers that I might tend to ignore amidst the chaos and busyness and hurt. God knows we need that calm and beauty or we'd go crazy. I'm still learning how to harness that peace and beauty, to focus on it a little more while trudging through the pain and disappointment.

And I have the wonderful hope that one day, when this world is through, all the layers of life will be shows in the sky for those who know and trust the Creator of all that beauty!

I saw Heaven and earth new-created...I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new."
~Revelation 21:1-5

Colorado: the second part

2010-08-03T16:43:00.006-05:00

Now that it is 110 degrees outside...wait, I exaggerate...106 degrees outside, I am wishing with my whole heart to be in Colorado again.

I'm not sure it's even safe to breathe outside in this heat and humidity.

So, I will just safely sit inside my house and reminisce on days of cooler climates and much more beautiful views as I continue our Colorado trip report.

Our first full day in Estes Park we saw a doe and two fawns right next to the cabin - our first up close animal experience of the trip. We then drove into the National Park and did one of our favorite hikes. I am pretty sure this makes the third time to do this particular hike: Nymph, Dream, and Emerald Lakes. I remember the first time John took me to Estes Park. This is what Dream Lake looked like on that occasion:

Let's all sit and think what it would feel like to be in some snow right now. It's hard to even imagine.

I digress.

This time of year things are thawed out:

I think it's only about a 4-mile hike with only a 600-foot elevation gain, so a good hike to start with.

That evening I witnessed some Sky Mall paraphernalia in action. Do you ever see things in that catalogue and think who in the world ever purchases any of these things? Well, The YMCA of the Rockies does, that's who.

Yep. We watched "Night at the Museum" on an inflatable movie screen direct from Sky Mall. (It did get darker, but I had to take the picture while we still had light.) We made it through the entire movie, but let me just remind anyone who might be attending this activity at the Y later in the summer: it gets cold in the mountains at night. Good thing we brought a couple blankets!

Our second day was chock full of activity. We drove over to Indian Peaks National Forest to hike to Mitchell and Blue Lakes. It's a good 6-mile hike, and it was my favorite hike of the week (OK, I admit, we only did three hikes in the week, but I was not in the mood for a boot camp vacation this year). Blue Lake is pictured at the top of the blog now. Absolutely beautiful. Here's another photo of it.

Now, I love hiking. I love the journey, the view from the top of the mountain, and getting to see alpine lakes and waterfalls and streams and flowers. I do not enjoy driving great distances every day during a vacation to get to the trailheads. That may be why, more than any other reason, I would elect not to go on a hike every single day when we're in Estes Park...or visiting other parks or forests in the country. It took about an hour to drive to the trailhead for Mitchell and Blue Lakes.

In the end, it was well worth it. Just not every day.

I might have also burned out a little on the car rides because straight after getting back from this hike, John decided to take me and a few other family and friends off-roading. It was fun, it was scary, it was bumpy. We drove down a 10-mile off-road trail and it took an hour to do that. My back was not the same the next day.

That makes me feel old, but I'm just telling the truth.

Thus the hesitation to get back in that truck day after day for long rides.

If that was not enough for one day, we all (I think mostly John and his dad) decided about 20 minutes after we got back to the YMCA that we should invite everyone (that is, everyone we knew staying at the YMCA that week - us, John's parents, John's sister, John's aunt and cousin, and two other families who are not exactly related but are at many of the same family functions as we are) to come have a picnic at Sprague Lake.

And we needed to get everything together and leave in about 15 minutes in order to get there and start cooking and eat before it got dark.

Was it possible? Could so many people be contacted, and food be gathered up, and the drive to the lake be made in time to picnic before sundown?

I'm starting to get worn out just thinking about it all, so we'll have to continue this saga tomorrow. Until then, stick your head in the freezer, or eat a lot of popsicles, or lay in an ice bath, but for heaven's sake do not go outside! (Unless you're in the mountains where it's not 106 degrees.)

Colorado: A Trip Report in Parts

2010-07-30T17:39:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure how many parts I need to describe our week in Colorado...or how much time I really want to spend in this effort. I promise I shall be as succinct as possible.

I don't know if that's saying much.

Unfortunately we have far less pictures than I thought we did. Photography is a hobby I would love, could learn to do, and dearly wish I actually invested in. The reality is I am either too busy enjoying the moments of life or just plain too lazy to get a camera out/carry a camera around/mess with camera settings.

I really think it's more laziness than anything. Part of me thinks if I got a bigger, better camera (we currently favor the variety that fits in your pocket) I would take more photos, but let's be honest. If I'm too lazy to carry around a camera in my pocket, get it out, and turn it on all the time WHAT makes me think I'm going to carry around something bigger and more complicated?

Anyway, so the first day or so of our trip have no photos to illustrate them. Mostly the first day we were in the car. 13 hours of sleeping, reading, listening to an audio book, crosswords, the busiest Dairy Queen between Dallas and Colorado (is it Dalhart? where the parking lot is full all summer and there is constantly a line of at least 10 for the women's bathroom...can I buy stock in that particular Dairy Queen?), and Sonic!

(I wish I had a picture of the line at the Dairy Queen bathrooms...and the full parking lot. Come to think of it, on our trip back home, we couldn't even find a spot in the parking lot and had to make our pit stop across the street at the Subway.)

It is important, for later parts of this story, to mention that John's aunt and cousin dropped us off at the airport in Colorado Spring to pick up our rental car as we were staying overnight with friends the Colorado Springs. John travel a lot, and thus has some super special status with his car rental company where he gets free upgrades. We paid a sub-compact car price and they gave us a Ford F-150 4x4. Nice! So he decided on the spot to just keep the car for the week instead of returning it in Boulder the next day as planned (where his sister would come to pick us up and take us the rest of the way to Estes Park).

The evening and following morning were spent with some dear friends in Colorado Springs who fed us, gave us a comfortable bed to sleep in, let us play with their precious little girls, and even entertained us with fireworks! (OK. The fireworks were a surprise, even to our friends. Their neighbors down the street apparently were confused about when the 4th of July holiday is celebrated and must have thought the correct day for the pyrotechnics was July 17. I, for one, am glad they were a little late.)

The highlights of the next day were, in no particular order: an iced latte at Starbucks, Glacier ice cream (MMMMMM! and I hear they're coming to Colorado Springs!), summer music mix, a hilarious moment of music making in the toy store thanks to John and his dad (I need to get the video from my sister-in-law), Drop (licorice from the Netherlands), and driving up into the mountains where it's cool. Oh, and finding out that housekeeping brought a brand new queen mattress to the cabin we stayed in at the YMCA of the Rockies just for us!

I have gotten next to nothing done today on my day off from work, so I need to adjourn and go do some ironing or make dinner or something. Part two will be coming soon, I promise. (And maybe the video of the toy store incident...if I can find it. It is hilarious.)

Over Prepared

2010-07-27T11:38:00.003-05:00

I came home from the grocery store a few minutes ago and had a revelation while putting away items in my pantry.

Apparently when at the grocery store, I panic that I might not have enough chicken stock at home. So, as I did just this morning, I pick up a box of chicken stock "just in case."

And apparently this is the FOURTH time I have done this.

I guess you never know when you might need to whip up some chicken-noodle soup for 80.

I am perplexed at my obvious subconscious anxiety over chicken stock. As far as I can tell, I do not have this problem with any other item.

What can it mean?

A Technology Break

2010-07-25T13:17:00.003-05:00

I am not one of those people who needs to take a "vacation" from technology because, well, I am not very technologically-connected. I really prefer to actually talk to people rather than text and am not a member of the most well-known social networking site.

I recently witnessed two people texting back and forth to make a decision about something. It took about 25 minutes of back and forth before a decision was made when, by my calculations, a phone call could have cut the conversation down to about five minutes.

I think we're fooling ourselves if we think all the newest technology is saving us time...or improving our communication skills.

Wow. Let me get off my soapbox. (OK. One more thing. I visited with a friend last week who also agrees with me about the whole texting versus actually talking thing. So, I'm not alone in my opinion.)

What I really meant to say when I started this whole post was I have not had much access to the internet or good cell phone service for the past week because we were in the mountains of Colorado.

Estes Park to be exact. Try not to be jealous.

It was a week of cool, dry air, gorgeous mountain views, hiking, shopping, dining, laughing, and playing games. I intend to write in detail about the more interesting parts of our vacation...mostly so I can relive it again to cope with coming back to real life, and hot, humid weather.

But not today. Because today I have a mountain of laundry to deal with and otherwise am taking my time adjusting to post-vacation. I am enjoying some denial about being back in the real world.

Also, we carpooled to and from Estes Park with some family and inadvertently left our camera in their car. John is currently on a mission to retrieve it, but for now I have no pictures to share. I'm hoping some of our pictures can be worth a thousand words...so that you don't have to endure me actually writing a thousand words about each day of the trip.

Even though you know I could!